Convincing
by heatherlea75
Summary: Jackie and Hyde's feelings for one another have reawakened, but something is wrong, and threatens to ruin their happiness together. Will she allow him in? Will he be there for her? And will the struggle convince him of what he really needs to do?
1. She's Not Pregnant!

**Disclaimer: **I don't own characters, show, etc.

**Warning:** Mild language

**AN: **This is the sequel to _Reawakening_. I just couldn't stop myself! It's going to be a bit heavier, but I'll try to stay true to character as much as possible. I just do drama better than comedy. :) Just remember, I believe in happy endings! And due to a very sweet suggestion I received, I think this is going to end up being a trilogy. Thanks so much for reading, and I hope you enjoy it!

**Convincing **

Chapter 1 – She's NOT Pregnant!

_A month after the ending of Reawakening, late August _

The day was warm and full of sunshine, the perfect day for a ballgame. And thanks to WB Barnett, Jackie, Hyde, Donna, Eric, Kelso, Fez, Red and Kitty found themselves in Milwaukee's County Stadium, watching the Brewers destroy the detested White Sox. It was a perfect day, Hyde thought, grinning as he took a bite out of the hot dog Jackie had just bought him. "Thanks for the dog, Jackie," he said, glancing to his right where his girlfriend sat. Donna sat on the other side of her, Eric on the other side of Donna. Kitty sat behind Eric, Red behind Donna, Fez behind Jackie and Kelso was behind Hyde.

Jackie smiled as best she could at him and prayed he didn't notice that her heart wasn't in it. She wasn't feeling well, her head was aching beyond belief, and her stomach was a bit off, but she didn't want him to be aware of that. After all, a sick girl was NOT a pretty girl! But who was she kidding? He never noticed stuff like that. He never even noticed when her hair was done differently than he was used to. Or at least he never commented about it. As a result, she had absolutely no idea how he liked her to wear her hair, and sometimes it drove her crazy. She looked down at the small tub of caramel corn she'd bought for herself and picked a few kernels up to munch on.

He made a face. "Man, how can you eat that stuff?" he asked. For the life of him, he would never understand why anyone liked caramel corn.

Jackie stared at the caramel corn that just five minutes ago had sounded so good. Now, though, the smell of it, the taste of it, even just the look of it was sending waves of increasingly intense nausea through her stomach. "I…oh GOD!" She stood up, dropping the tub and spilling caramel corn all over the ground. She hurriedly slipped past Donna and Eric to the aisle, her hand clasped over her mouth, and took off up the stairs as fast as her legs could carry her.

The entire group watched her go, and Hyde frowned. Maybe she was sick. She'd been surprisingly quiet today, almost out of sorts.

Kelso leaned forward and patted Hyde's shoulder. "Well, looks like SOMEONE's pregnant," he stated knowingly, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Hyde rolled his eyes and shrugged Kelso's hand off of him. "Kelso…"

Fez leaned forward. "No, no, she cannot be pregnant," he said with a slight pout. "Her boobs are not bigger. They are still the perfect size for the palms of my hands." He grinned at Kelso and held his hands out in front of him, making slight squeezing motions.

Hyde grimaced and reached behind him with his left fist to pummel Fez's knee cap. Hard.

"AIII! Hyde!"

Now grinning, he turned to look at Fez over his shoulder. "Be careful, man. You don't want your chin meeting your ass again." He shook his head and turned to look forward again, his eyes trailed on the field even though he really didn't see anything. "Jackie's not pregnant, okay?"

"She's having morning sickness," Kelso said. "I should know. Brooke had it all the time…like every…morning."

Hyde glanced over his right shoulder and glared at Kelso. "It's not morning, idiot," he snapped. God, what WAS wrong with Jackie? She'd told him that her headaches were getting better. Besides, her headaches hadn't been making her nauseous, at least not to his knowledge.

"Well, when I was pregnant with Eric, I was sick all the time," Kitty chimed in, leaning over Red's lap. "It wasn't fun. I could barely go anywhere three feet away from the bathroom!" She laughed.

Red rolled his eyes. "You were sick all the time because you knew Eric was a dumbass even then," he said dryly.

Eric shook his head and smirked. "I feel so…loved." He looked at Donna, and she smiled at him in amusement.

Hyde sighed, losing some patience. "Look, she's NOT pregnant!" He shook his head. "God!" Of course she wasn't pregnant. She couldn't be pregnant. Since they'd gotten back together, they hadn't had sex yet. Not really by his choice. Just hadn't had a good opportunity. So unless she was the second Virgin Mary, and he knew otherwise, there was no way in hell she could be pregnant.

"Well, something is wrong with her," Donna said. She looked expectantly at Hyde. "Aren't you going to go check on her?"

"She's puking, so, uh…no," he said. Donna's pointed look became a disgusted glare, and he shrugged. "She went to the ladies room, Donna. I can't exactly go in there and check on her, now can I?"

"Maybe you cannot, but I can," Fez interjected, standing up.

Donna and Hyde both looked back at him with disgusted looks on their faces. "Sit down!" Hyde growled.

Donna stood up. "Fine. I'll go." She gave Hyde a raised eyebrow. "To check on YOUR girlfriend."

Hyde nodded and turned back to the game. He watched a pop fly float down into the shortstop's glove, but it didn't mean anything to him. He was too distracted. Jackie hadn't been herself today, or lately, really, and now she was apparently sick. What in the hell was going on with her?

About fifteen minutes later, Jackie returned to the group's seats and gingerly sat down next to Steven. She felt a little better, although her head was killing her, and the pain was spreading to all around her right eye. She smiled at him when he looked at her, trying to hide it all. "Hi. Sorry for…uh…rul…runp…runnning out on you." She shook her head; why had that been so hard to say?

He stared at her. Her face was pale and her features were tight. And she was speaking funny, almost like she was drunk. "You okay?" She nodded, then turned her head towards the baseball diamond. He continued to stare at her, and watched silently as she raised her right hand to rub the spot behind her temple where her headaches always were. "Headache?" Another nod. "Did you take one of your pills?" He felt like a nagging parent, but damn it, he wasn't used to her being this uncommunicative, and it was beginning to get on his nerves.

Jackie rolled her eyes. "Yes, I did, oki…olki…okay?" She looked at him, and her eyes widened. There was two Steven's in front of her, frowning at her. She rubbed her right hand over her eyes for a few moments, praying that when she took her hand away, her vision would have cleared up. This double vision thing had been happening occasionally since the accident, and Jackie kept hoping it would go away. Surely it meant that she needed glasses, and she just did NOT want to get glasses! She took her hand away, and to her relief, only one Steven looked back at her.

Hyde put his left hand on her thigh. He looked into her eyes and noticed that her pupils were slightly dilated. "Did you go down a six pack or something? You look drunk." She did, but he knew she hadn't and wasn't. And that made his stomach tighten. She lifted a shoulder weakly and looked down. "Jackie," his voice lowered. "What is _wrong?_"

She just shook her head, scooted closer to him and put her head on his shoulder. She was so tired; maybe he'd let her sleep on his shoulder. Just for a little while. She closed her eyes and smiled slightly. His shoulder was so nice. Made for her head to rest on.

For a moment, Hyde just sat still, looking at the top of Jackie's head. He wasn't sure what to do. Jackie wasn't talking, and that completely baffled him. Somewhere along the line he'd become so accustomed to her that now that she wasn't acting normally, he had no idea what to do. Of course, she wasn't asking anything of him right now, except for his shoulder. Maybe that's all she needed. And a shoulder he could do. He shrugged her head up, lifted his left arm and wrapped it around her, drawing her head back to him, and grinned slightly when she nuzzled in closer.

"Awwwwww, how sweet!" Kelso teased tauntingly from behind them.

Hyde reacted quickly, shooting his elbow back to connect with Kelso's shin. Hard.

"OW! DAMN, HYDE!"

Hyde heard a tiny giggle, and he smiled down at Jackie's head. But the smile quickly faded.

_Something is really, really wrong._

He blinked rapidly. No. Nothing was wrong. Jackie was just worn out. She'd been tired since the accident, and that made sense. She'd had major surgery. Of course it was taking some time for her to bounce back. Before he knew it, she'd be her normal self. Her normal annoying self. Her normal, oddly adorable self.

And he'd miss the quiet.

But not really.

A few hours later, Hyde sat in the back seat of the Vista Crusier, heading home. It was getting dark out, and that suited him just fine. The car was quiet; Fez and Kelso were sleeping in the back, and Eric and Donna were pretending not to make out. Red and Kitty were talking softly in the front seat.

The game had been great, aside from whatever was going on with Jackie, although she'd perked up a bit after taking a nap on his shoulder. Now she was back on his shoulder again, and his hand idly stroked the back of her head. Mmmm, her hair was so soft. Like a kitten's fur. She was right. That new conditioner she was using was amazing.

He rolled his eyes. _God, see what she's done to me? _

She lifted her head up, and he looked down at her. "Steven?" she whispered.

"Hey," he answered softly. "Thought you were sleeping."

Jackie nodded sleepily. "I was, but …" She didn't really want to talk. All she wanted was for him to kiss her. He'd hate her for even thinking it, but he'd been so sweet to her today. And she was feeling incredible tenderness for him that she'd never be able to put into words. And so she lifted her chin towards his face, parting her lips slightly and hoping he'd get the message.

He did. He lowered his head and kissed her softly, over and over again with gentle presses of his lips against hers. His hand cupped the back of her neck and brought her closer. Her tongue gently, almost chastely, flickered against his lips, and he responded with his own slow, soft touches. She shivered, and he smiled as he ended the sweet kisses. He opened his eyes and watched hers do the same in the dimming light. "Feel better?"

Jackie nodded. And she did. Because of him. "Steven, do you think you could…" She hesitated. Why was this hard for her? It wasn't as if they'd never spent the night together before. And she wanted to tonight. She wanted him to be with her tonight. All night. "Do you think you could stay over at the apartment with me tonight?"

He really didn't have to think twice. Even if they didn't have sex, which he hoped they would, but still…sleeping in the same bed with her had definite advantages. "Sure," he answered. She smiled and cuddled up to him again, and he sighed and pulled at her shoulder, moving her closer to him.

That annoying voice returned.

_Something is really, really wrong. _

He closed his eyes. No. Nothing was wrong. Nothing was wrong at all.


	2. She's FINE!

**Disclaimer: **Don't own!

**Warning: **Mild language

**AN: **Thanks to everyone reading, and reviewing!Those make me smile. :)I had today off, so I wrote. I also have tomorrow off, so I bet I have another chapter up tomorrow for you. :) Hope you enjoy!

**Convincing **

Chapter 2 - She's FINE!

_Two weeks later _

"So where's Jackie today, Hyde?" Donna asked, sitting on the basement couch in between Eric and Fez and playing idly with an Etch-a-Sketch. "You two have been joined at the hip lately…I hardly recognize you without her." She grinned at him.

Hyde returned it with a sarcastic smirk. "She's shopping. No way in hell was I going to go shopping with her." He sat in his usual chair with his arms crossed across his chest. The truth was slightly different. He wouldn't have gone with her if she'd asked, well, probably not, but she hadn't even asked. In fact, she'd said that she wanted to be alone. And that was just weird. Jackie never liked being alone.

Fez grinned as he sucked on a lollypop. "I hope she buys another sexy purple bra." Everyone looked at him, and he cringed slightly under the weight of Hyde's extremely nasty gaze. "What? Is it my fault that Jackie likes to walk around in her underwear? No, it's not. I just let it happen and enjoy the view." Everyone continued to stare at him in complete disbelief. "She does!" No one's eyes moved. "Okay, maybe only in my fantasies she does." They still stared, and Fez noticed that Hyde's right hand was balling into a fist. "Fine! I peeked in her underwear drawer!"

Hyde shifted angrily in his chair. Most of the time, Fez's obsession with Jackie didn't really bother him, at least not much. It was Fez. Harmless. Today, though, it was grating on his nerves like fingernails on a chalkboard grated on his ears. "Okay, Fez? You better stop doing that," he warned in a hard voice.

Donna shook her head and looked at Hyde. She leaned forward. "You know, I'm kind of worried about her. She's acting…strange lately." She looked at Eric. "She's so…quiet. And even when she talks, have you noticed that sometimes she seems to have a hard time getting words out?" Donna frowned. It was just so odd.

Eric nodded. "Yeah, and the other day she complimented my outfit." He glanced at Donna incredulously. "I was wearing a sweater vest. A sweater vest! Jackie hates those."

Hyde's back stiffened, but he did his best to appear relaxed and unconcerned. Zen at its finest. "Nothing is wrong with Jackie," he said dully. He stared at the television set. Of course nothing was wrong. Everything was fine. She was fine. She had to be fine.

Kelso sat in the lawn chair playing with some Lincoln Logs. "I don't know about that, Hyde," he said. "I mean, the other day at the Hub, I tried to look down her shirt and she didn't even slap me. She just pushed me. And I could tell she didn't mean it."

Hyde took a deep breath, trying not to react, but today it was just too much. He leaned forward, took his glasses off and gave Kelso a withering glare that he hoped left nothing to Kelso's feeble imagination. "Kelso, I swear to God, if you go near Jackie's shirt again, my fist? It's gonna replace your nose."

Kelso pointed at Hyde. "Okay, just calm down, Hyde! God! It's not like I felt her up or something!" He glanced at Fez with a sly grin and spoke quietly. "Although I could if I wanted to!" Fez grinned, impressed.

Donna watched Hyde flop back in his chair and put his sunglasses back on. He seemed tense, and like he was trying to hide it. "You're worried about her, too, aren't you?"

Hyde shook his head and looked at Donna. "Look, there's nothing to be worried _about_. Jackie is fine. She's just…I mean, come on, man. She's still recovering from the accident. And that's all. She's FINE." He crossed his arms again and glared grumpily at the television. He wished everyone would just shut up about Jackie.

She was fine.

Donna and Eric exchanged glances, both of them thinking the same thing. Jackie wasn't fine. Something was wrong.

_Twenty minutes later, the Forman kitchen _

"Mrs. Forman, can I talk to you about something?"

Kitty stood at the stove, making tea, and she smiled at the girl sitting at her kitchen table. "Of course you can, Jackie," she said. "Would you like some tea?"

Jackie nodded, and stared down at the table while Kitty poured steaming water in two mugs. She was petrified, and didn't know who else to turn to. She thought about going to Donna, but Donna had such a big mouth and would tell Eric. Lumberjacks were always gossipy; it was how they coped with being…well…lumberjacks. Michael was out; he wouldn't even understand what she was talking about. Fez? No. He'd just blabber on about candy or something perverted.

And Steven….no. She couldn't talk to Steven about it. Of course, he should already know something was wrong. He SHOULD be doing everything he could to figure out what was going on with her without her having to say a thing.

Besides, things were going so well between them and she didn't want to screw it up by making any demands on him. Steven didn't like serious, heavy stuff. And with her luck, it would just freak him out and he'd up and leave.

"So, is it serious?" Kitty asked as she placed a mug of tea in front of Jackie and then took a seat. Jackie nodded, and Kitty giggled. "Ooo, I love serious." Her smile faded when she noticed the fear on the younger woman's face. She reached out and patted Jackie's hand. "What's wrong, Jackie?"

Jackie shrugged. She didn't even know where to start. "I just…I mean, you're a nurse, so you know…medical stuff, right?"

Kitty chuckled. "Oh definitely. More than the doctors!" She shook her head. "We have some of the dumbest doctors….I'm sorry. Go on."

Jackie cupped the mug of tea with both hands and stared at it. "I…I think there's something…" She took a deep breath. "I think there's something wrong with my head."

"Sweetie, we've all thought that for years," Kitty replied, laughing until Jackie looked at her with stricken and suddenly tear-filled eyes. And in that moment, Kitty knew this wasn't just serious, it was SERIOUS. She reached out and took Jackie's hand. "Oh, Jackie, I was just teasing. Now, what makes you think that there's something wrong with your head?"

Jackie's body shuddered slightly. "Well, I just…since the accident, I've been having these headaches. Which I expected, since I had a concussion. But now it hurts behind my eye, too. And other things…like I'm turning into a klutz." She shook her head. "I keep tripping…and I've always had the grace of an angel. It's just…I don't know what my problem is."

Kitty stared at Jackie. She had noticed some definite changes in the poor girl's behavior since the accident. She'd been quiet, and lethargic. Often when Kitty went down the basement, the kids were sitting around as usual, but Jackie was sleeping, usually in Steven's lap, or curled up to him on the couch. And too, she'd started to stutter occasionally.

"And I keep seeing double. Like the other night Steven and I were about to…" Jackie's eyes widened. She probably shouldn't share THAT information with Mrs. Forman. "To play cards, and there was two of him in front of me." She shook her head and sighed. "So do you have any idea of what could be wrong with me?"

Kitty suspected a possibility, but she didn't want to say anything. She could be wrong, although she probably wasn't since she never was. But still. This could be more serious than Jackie was even afraid it was. "Jackie, honey, I think you need to talk to a doctor," she replied gently. "I know what I just said about them, but really, not all of them are dumb."

Jackie's shoulders slumped in disappointment. "I know," she said quietly. "I've got an appointment tomorrow; I was just hoping you could give me some idea of what it might be." She looked up. "I just…I really don't want to go alone, Mrs. Forman. Do you think you could…do you think you could go with me?"

Kitty frowned. "Tomorrow? Oh, honey, I'm sorry. Red and I have to go to Milwaukee…" Her heart ached when Jackie's face crumpled and she looked down at the table. Poor girl, with no parents there for her when she needed them the most. "Why don't you just ask Steven to go with you?"

"Steven?" Jackie screeched, looking up with her eyes wide. "No, I can't ask him. He'll just…he just doesn't like this kind of stuff."

"I'm sure he won't mind, Jackie."

"No. He would." She looked tearfully at Mrs. Forman. "Mrs. Forman, please don't mention this to Steven." Her pride reared up. "I mean, for his sake. I don't want him to get so distracted by worry that he ruins his record store or something."

Kitty sighed and looked sympathetically at the obviously scared and lonely girl. "Jackie, don't worry. We'll figure something out." She moved her chair closer to Jackie and put an arm around her shoulders. Jackie began to cry, and her body shook. "Come on, sweetie. It'll be okay." Kitty closed her eyes.

Maybe it would be. Maybe this was nothing and Jackie was fine. Maybe.

_The Forman basement _

Hyde glanced at his watch and stood up. "Well, I'm out of here. Gotta go pick up Jackie."

Donna looked at him. "I thought she was shopping."

He nodded. "Yeah, well, we're going to a movie." He looked at Fez and Kelso and smirked. "The drive-in. Where, unlike anyone ELSE in this basement, I can feel her up all I want to without getting slapped or my ass kicked."

Fez and Kelso both pouted at the taunt as Hyde went upstairs. And then Kelso got an idea. He turned to Fez in excitement. "Hey, let's go hide in the back of Hyde's car. Then when he starts to make a move on her, we can knock on the window and scare him!"

Fez's face brightened, and they both leapt to their feet and rushed out the back basement door.

Donna shook her head in slightly exasperated amusement.

Eric pulled his girlfriend closer to him and smiled sexily at her. "Ahhhh, alone at last," he said smoothly. "Whatever shall we do?" Donna smiled, but her expression was strained, and Eric knew she was distracted. He sighed. "What's wrong?"

Donna shrugged. "I just…" She looked at her boyfriend. "Do you think there's something wrong with Jackie?"

Eric nodded. "Of course there is, Donna. She's the devil." He shook his head playfully. "I think we've well established this fact."

She glared and swatted him. "Seriously, Eric."

Eric sighed again and his expression turned thoughtful. "Well, considering how she's acting lately, yes, I do."

"Do you think it's what Hyde said, she's just recovering from the accident?"

He rubbed Donna's shoulder, suddenly sad for some reason. He had a gut feeling that it wasn't just that. "I don't know, Donna."

Donna leaned into him and put her head on his shoulder. "Well, I think Hyde needs to take this more seriously than he is."

"I think maybe he's taking it more seriously than he acts."

She lifted her head and thought about how Hyde had reacted to Fez and Kelso's comments about Jackie, and about how he'd reacted to her own comments about Jackie. "Yeah, he was pretty defensive. It's like…it's like he doesn't want to believe something is wrong." Her eyes began to sting. Jackie was her best friend. She put her head back on Eric's shoulder. "I don't want to believe it, Eric."

Eric rested his head on his girlfriend's. "I don't either, Donna." He closed his eyes. "I don't either."


	3. Should Be

**Disclaimer: **Don't own. Just playing.

**Warning:**Mild language.

**AN: **Thanks so much for the great reviews! I know this story is pretty depressing...it'll get happier. I just love angst so much. :) Hope you're enjoying it anyway, and thanks for reading!

**Convincing **

Chapter 3 – Should Be

When Hyde walked into the kitchen, he saw Mrs. Forman and Jackie sitting at the kitchen table. Jackie looked upset, and his stomach tightened. "Hey," he said, walking past the fridge and the stove to stand near the counter, all the while staring at his girlfriend. "What are you doing here? I was just leaving to pick you up."

Jackie hoped to God that her face wasn't all splotchy from her tears, and she sat up straight, furrowing her brow in confusion. "Pick me up for what?" She watched Mrs. Forman stand up and walk past Steven to the cabinets where she pretended to be busy.

Hyde frowned. "We're going to a movie. I asked you this morning if you wanted to go." He paused; Jackie's face was completely blank. "You said you did."

For the life of her, Jackie couldn't remember him asking her to a movie, but she decided to play along with him. "Oh, god, I forgot," she said. He looked at her expectantly, and she suddenly felt nervous. She couldn't go with him. Not tonight. Not feeling like she did right now. She'd probably end up crying, then he'd ask her why she was crying, she'd tell him, he'd freak out and change his mind about being with her. She jerked up out of the chair, nearly knocking it over in the process. "I..uh..I c..ca..cl…can't, Steven," she stammered. "I'm…I have to…uh…I'll just see you later."

Hyde watched her hurry out the sliding doors in utter confusion. What in the hell had just happened? He glanced at Mrs. Forman, who nodded her head towards the doors, and with a sigh, he followed Jackie outside. He quickly caught up to her before she reached her car, and he grabbed her wrist. "Hey, Jackie," he said. She turned around, and he could tell she'd been crying. His hand moved from her wrist to her hand. "What's going on? You don't want to go?"

Jackie looked down at the ground. "I just don't feel like watching a movie." Dumb excuse, but hey. Maybe it would work.

Hyde moved closer to him and put his free arm around her waist, pulling her to him. He grinned. "Fine. We won't watch." Hell, that idea suited him just find. Maybe a little heavy making out at the drive in, then they could go back to her apartment and go further. Finally. God, it seemed like whenever they were just about to, something would happen, a phone call, Fez or Kelso interrupting, a headache. Or she would just fall asleep. Not tonight, if he had anything to say about it. And he might as well start the seduction right now. He leaned down and sensually kissed her cheek, then nibbled his way down to her neck. Mmmm…yeah, he liked kissing her. Yeah, he loved kissing her.

Jackie's eyes closed and she arched her neck, smiling slightly from the pleasure of Steven's kisses. Slightly damp, so very warm, little flickers of his tongue; she could feel her knees buckling.

But that familiar pain in her head opened her eyes and twisted her face into a wince. Even Steven's kisses couldn't cure it, and she pushed him away. He looked at her, obviously annoyed, and she teared up. "I just…I don't want to go anywhere."

Hyde sighed heavily. "Then we'll just hang out here." This was so irritating. Normally Jackie begged him to take her out, and when he did ask her to go out, she all of a sudden didn't want to go?

"No. I just…I want to be alone tonight." Jackie swallowed hard. She didn't. She desperately wanted to be with Steven. She wanted him to hold her the way he had been lately, and yet, she couldn't. She couldn't risk it. If she was with him tonight, she'd tell him. And he'd leave her. Her heart ached as Steven's face masked over with Zen. Not everyone could tell the difference between his Zen because I'm bored and feel like being difficult and his Zen because something is really bothering me, but she could.

And this was definitely the latter. She felt incredibly guilty, but she couldn't change her mind. She couldn't. The risk was too high.

Hyde blinked slowly. "Fine. Whatever," he muttered. If she wanted to be alone, he'd let her. Hell, he didn't really want to spend the evening with her anyway. There were a million other things he'd rather do.

Right.

Jackie opened her mouth to say something, but only a choking sound came out. Mortified, she turned and walked away, tripping slightly but catching herself before she fell on her face.

Hyde watched her stumble away, and he rubbed his lips together with his left hand.

_Something is really, really wrong. _

His eyes closed. That thought was getting more and more intense the more he saw Jackie and the less like herself she acted.

"Damn it," he mumbled, opening his eyes and staring off in the direction Jackie had gone. God, what the hell? Why was Jackie, normally one who wanted to talk about everything, suddenly clamming up?

And why did it bother him so much?

_Because you're worried about her. And you love her. _

He turned and walked into the Forman kitchen, where Mrs. Forman was busy preparing to cook dinner. Mrs. Forman. Maybe she would know. After all, Jackie had been talking to her. Maybe confiding in her what was going on. "Mrs. Forman," he asked, moving towards the breakfast bar. "Why was Jackie here?"

Mrs. Forman glanced over at him. "Oh, she just wanted to chat a little bit," she said, hoping that her lie sounded remotely believable.

"About what?"

She laughed nervously and walked from the refrigerator to the stove. "Just girl talk, Steven. Nothing you'd be interested in."

Hyde knew Mrs. Forman was lying. She always got nervous and giggly when she was lying. "Did she tell you what's going on with her by any chance?"

Again, the nervous laugh. "What? No, Steven. She just wanted to…say hi."

That convinced him that Mrs. Forman knew what Jackie was upset about, and he took off his glasses. His voice lowered slightly, and he prayed that no one else was around to hear what he was about to say. "Look, Mrs. Forman, I'm…I'm really…I'm starting to get worried about her." He swallowed hard over the lump in his throat. Yeah, he felt it, but damn it was hard to say out loud. "I just wanna know if…if I should be."

Kitty stopped what she was doing and looked at Steven. Oh, he did look worried, as worried as she'd ever seen him, and that melted her. He should know. After all, he was Jackie's boyfriend, and whether Jackie believed it or not, he would care. She sighed sadly. "I think you should be, Steven." He stared at her blankly, and she smiled warily. "Sit down."

_Three hours later _

Hyde sat in the El Camino, staring at the steering wheel. He'd been driving around for the past two hours, trying to figure out what to do and failing miserably. Now he was parked in front of Jackie and Fez's apartment building, and he was wondering if he should go in.

He wanted to. After Mrs. Forman told him what she suspected was wrong with Jackie, he was more worried than ever. And completely unable to deal with what felt like ten thousand exploding grenades in his head. He wanted to see Jackie and to hear her voice. He wanted her to be normal. He wanted her to yell at him for something, anything at all. He wanted to listen to her chatter on and on about Donny Osmond or Abba or anything else that she loved and that drove him crazy.

He wanted to see her, for her to be okay, to act normal, so that he could believe that Mrs. Forman's suspicion was completely wrong.

Hyde shook his head and smiled bitterly. To think, Kelso and the others probably still thought she was pregnant. Hell, it would be so much easier if she was. At least he'd have some idea of the right thing to do. But this was different. So completely different. A baby didn't mean death. This could.

He should go in to see how she was. Even if she was sleeping, at least he'd know. And if she was awake, they could talk about what was going on. Of course, he had no clue what to say to her. He had no idea what she wanted to hear, and even if he did, chances were that he wouldn't be able to say it. When was he EVER able to say what she wanted to hear? Once every blue moon was his best guess.

He'd just let her down again, like when her father had gone to prison, and make her more upset. Probably why she hadn't come to him to begin with.

He sighed and looked down at his lap. He shouldn't go in. No point to it. Jackie obviously didn't want him to know what was going on, and he knew himself well enough to know he'd make a mess of it anyway. Better off just leaving. She'd be better without him right now.

And a small part of him couldn't help but think that maybe she'd be better off without him period.

Slowly, he pulled the El Camino onto the street and headed home. He felt a shaking sensation in the middle of his chest and frowned. He shouldn't feel guilty. Hell, she didn't WANT him with her. So really, he was just doing what she wanted.

_Yeah, you keep telling yourself that. _

_Jackie's bedroom _

Jackie lay in her bed, staring at the ceiling. She wanted to sleep, her entire body was sore with fatigue. But her mind wouldn't shut down. She couldn't stop thinking about the doctor's appointment the next day. What was the worst part was that she had no idea what could be wrong, what was going on with her own body. Was she going to die? Or just get so sick that she'd want to die?

And she was thinking about Steven, too. Before his face had gone Zen, she'd saw hurt in his eyes. He must have really wanted to be with her tonight. Of course he did. He loved her. A slight smile crossed her lips. He did love her. He'd told her that three more times since he'd said it after that whole Sam thing.

But her smile quickly faded.

If he really loved her, he should be here. He should be so worried that he couldn't rest until he made sure she was okay.

Right? Shouldn't it be that way? Shouldn't HE be that way?

But this was Steven. He never handled things the way they SHOULD be handled.

Jackie rolled over to her side, and she noticed the vase on her nightstand. The roses he'd given her were still in it, even though they were dead and flaking off now. She just couldn't bear to throw them away. He'd given them to her. STEVEN had given them to her.

She didn't care how he should be. She just wanted him. He could say or do whatever the hell he wanted; she just wanted him to be with her. Now. Tomorrow. And every day after that.

But maybe he wouldn't want to be. Especially if something was really wrong. Maybe he wouldn't be able to deal with it….maybe he'd just leave her.

And she'd be alone. Just like she was tonight. Just like she would be tomorrow.

She clutched the collar of her favorite shirt to sleep in, the Lez Zeppelin shirt Steven had given her a long time ago, and she cried.

All she really wanted was Steven. He should be here. But he wasn't. And she didn't know what to do other than cry.


	4. You're My Chick

**Disclaimer: **Don't own.

**Warning: **Mild language.

**AN: **Sorry it's been a couple days. I hate work. Seriously cuts into writing time. Anyway, thanks so much for reading and the reviews! Hopefully the next chapter will have a little lightness, just to give us a break. LOL. Hope you enjoy!

**Convincing **

Chapter 4 – You're My Chick

_The next morning _

Hyde walked stiffly into the kitchen. It had been one long ass night. No sleep. His stash was seriously depleted. His beer supply was dangerously low. All he was really left with was the oddest combination of being ravenous and being sick to his stomach. And he was still thinking about Jackie. Hadn't managed to find a way to stop. It was irritating him. He moved grumpily past Mrs. Forman and dropped into a chair at the table.

"Oh, Steven, would you like some breakfast?"

He nodded, staring at the table. "Sure, Mrs. Forman." And then he looked over at her by the stove. "Just…not too much." He looked back at the table, and his stomach turned. "On second thought, nothing at all." He dropped his forehead to his hand. Damn. Those last six beers had not been a good idea at all.

"Did you go see Jackie last night?"

He groaned, and his only answer was a slight shake of his head.

Kitty sighed, and left the stove to go sit next to the boy she considered her son. "Well, why not, Steven?" she asked, slightly irritated. He'd seemed so upset and concerned about the poor girl last night. "She said she didn't want you to know, but I know better. She did."

Hyde shrugged and didn't move his head. "Look, if she had really wanted me to know, she would have told me herself. And if she had wanted me around, she wouldn't have said she wanted to be alone."

Kitty scoffed. "Oh, now Steven, that's just stupid. Do you know ANYTHING about women?" He lifted his head and looked at her incredulously, and she shrugged. "If you did, you'd know that when a woman says she wants to be alone, what she _really_ wants is for you to follow her. And besides, this is Jackie. She doesn't like to ask for help." Kitty thought for a moment. "She likes to demand things, sure, but she doesn't like to ask."

His hand fell limply to the table. He had to admit that Mrs. Forman was right. Jackie never wanted to admit when she needed help, and asking for help meant admitting that. "That's true, but…"

"No buts, Steven. Now look. She has a doctor's appointment today and she doesn't want to go alone. I would go with her but Red is dragging me to some auto parts show in Milwaukee, and you know how I just can't stay away from those!" She laughed, then stood up and rushed over to the wall, where a roll of note paper was hung. She tore off a piece and one her way back to the table opened a drawer and pulled out a pencil. When she sat back down next to Steven, she began writing. "Here's the address and time. I think it would be very nice if you just _happen_ to be waiting when she gets there."

Hyde watched her slide the piece of paper over to him, and he sighed. He wanted to go, he wanted to see her, but he'd have to talk, and he had absolutely no idea of what to say. "Mrs. Forman, I just…look, I don't know what to say to her."

"You know, it doesn't really matter if you talk, Steven. Jackie just wants you there with her."

Hyde stared at Mrs. Forman. That wasn't anything he'd ever considered. Just being there. "Huh."

"She needs to know that you care, and if you're with her, she will, even if you say the wrong thing or nothing at all." Kitty reached out and patted Steven's hand. "Think about it. You have until 1:30." She stood up again and walked back to the stove, just as her son came in. "Well, good morning, Eric!"

"Morning, Mom," Eric said, almost too happily for eight o'clock in the morning. He sat down next to Hyde and looked at him. "Boy, Hyde, you look like crap."

Hyde glared at him. "Gee, thanks."

Eric noticed the piece of paper in front of Hyde. "What's that?" He started to pull it towards him, angling his head so he could read it. "Dr. Spandley, 1:30….wha.."

Hyde grabbed the paper away from him. "Mind your own business, Forman, god!"

Eric stared at him. "Are you sick?"

Hyde shook his head, gazing sightlessly at the table and tracing his fingers over the paper. "It's not for me," he said dully, distracted by his thoughts. He felt Forman's questioning eyes on him and looked up. "Just…forget it. It's nothing." He got up and headed out of the kitchen, taking the note with him.

Eric shook his head. Must have something to do with Jackie. Hopefully nothing bad. But that sense of something bad he'd had yesterday returned, and he wondered if the group would be able to handle it.

He wondered if Hyde would be able to handle it.

_That afternoon, Dr. Spandley's office _

Jackie sighed heavily and sadly as she shut the car door behind her and began walking towards Dr. Spandley's office. Her stomach was a disaster, and her coordination today had been quite poor. She'd tripped about five times just getting dressed. God, what was the doctor going to suspect? What if it was serious? What if it was nothing and she was just imagining all of this?

And of those two, which was worse?

She stared at the ground as she walked, hoping that would keep her steady, until she reached the stairs in front of the building. When she looked up, her heart skipped what felt like a thousand beats, and she stopped moving. Her breath caught in her throat, and she could barely squeeze out the word that was shining in her mind.

"Steven!"

He wasn't wearing his sunglasses and she could see his eyes. He had such amazing eyes; she loved it when she could see them.

Hyde gave her a strained smile and walked down a few steps to meet her. "Hey," he said. She looked a mixture of confused, embarrassed, scared and happy to see him. "Thought you might like some company. You know, since you'll be sitting in the waiting room for an hour before the doctor sees you for ten minutes."

She moved closer to him and smiled when he put his hand on the back of her neck. Just his touch made her stomach settle, her nerves lessen by a tiny but noticeable amount. "Yeah, that's true….wait." She looked up at him, her brow furrowed, her mouth pursing into a frown. "Wait, how did you know about this?" He arched an eyebrow, and she sighed with realization. "You talked to Mrs. Forman." His fingers began a slow, gentle massage, and her lips curved upwards again.

"You should have known better. Mrs. Forman can't keep secrets. Remember Forman's roller disco days?" Hyde rolled his eyes. He would never forget the sight of his best friend in satin shorts and rainbow suspenders. God, roller disco? How had a friend of HIS gotten involved in that crap?

Jackie giggled. "Hey, he was actually pretty good," she said, defending the activity she used to love and secretly missed. Her smile faded. "So…you want to go with me?"

He nodded and pulled her a little closer to him. She looked so scared. It reminded him of how she'd looked when the cop had found her pot. Due, of course, to her bringing his attention to it. "Yeah." He shrugged. "I mean, unless you really don't want me to."

"No…no!" Jackie said quickly. She stepped towards him, dipped her head and rested her forehead on his shoulder. Her hands lightly gripped his waist. "I want you to go with me." Her arms slipped around him and she hugged him with a slight whimper. "If it's…if it's okay with you."

Hyde held her close and turned his face in towards her head. Her hair smelled like roses bathed in sunshine, and he closed his eyes. She was such a girly girl, and god, he loved it. "It's okay with me," he said. He kissed her head, and they stood there for a long moment. When she pulled away, he leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on her lips. "You ready?"

Jackie inhaled shakily and tried to appear calm. "I'm ready." He took her hands and she smiled. And even though she was suddenly petrified, it wasn't so bad, because Steven was here. Just like she wanted him to be.

_Two hours later, The Hub _

They sat across from one another in silence, neither of them touching much of their food except to push it around and pretend they were eating. They'd barely spoken since leaving the doctor's office, and the quiet was beginning to irritate Hyde. Jackie was hardly reacting; she hadn't cried, she hadn't bitched, she hadn't really done anything. And it just wasn't her. "So," he said. "Guess it could be pretty bad."

Jackie pursed her lips and swallowed hard, but she didn't look up at Steven. "Guess so," she muttered. She had to go to the hospital the next day and have some sort of test done, a CAT scan or something, to see if there was anything wrong with her brain. Like a tumor, or an aneurysm, whatever that was. The doctor had explained it, but she'd sort of tuned him out. The word just sounded so…bad. So heavy. So damn scary.

Hyde studied her. Her eyes remained on her plate, and her expression was still blank, although he could see her lips trembling slightly. But apparently, those two words were all he was going to get. He swallowed hard. "Jackie, if I hadn't talked to Mrs. Forman and gone to the doctor's with you, would you have even told me about this?"

Jackie lifted her head and looked at him, forcing a disdainful look. "Of course I would have!" She faltered when he raised his eyebrows, and her chest deflated. "I think I would have…okay, I don't know." She sighed. "Look, I didn't tell you about the doctor's appointment because I didn't think you'd want to know." It wasn't the entire truth, but close enough.

He glared at her, almost angrily. "You didn't think I'd want to know? Why the hell wouldn't I want to know?"

"Because it's…it's not like I was going just to get a booster shot or something, Steven!" she exclaimed. "This is serious…heavy… and you hate serious." She shrugged sheepishly. "I just didn't want to…things were so good…" Her voice trailed off and she looked down at her barely touched burger.

He sighed and looked away. She was right, of course. He never enjoyed their "serious" talks and usually did whatever he could to avoid them. But still…this felt so much different than any of the other stuff. He took a deep breath and looked back at her. "Look, Jackie," he said, his voice softer. He reached across the table and covered one of her hands with his. "You're my chick, okay? If something is going on with you, I wanna know about it."

Jackie almost smiled, she loved it when he called her his chick, but instead, she threw her shoulders back and let her pride talk. "You should have known something was wrong. A good boyfriend would have."

He rolled his eyes. "Damn, Jackie, I did. And I kept asking you what was wrong," he snapped. "You're the one who wasn't talking. When are you going to understand that I can't read your mind?" God, she always did this, expected him to just know everything. Like when he was supposed to understand "doll expo" as "my father's cabin is being foreclosed upon". Or when he was supposed to just know that it was her birthday.

Jackie's eyes widened, but she knew he was right. "Okay, I know," she said quietly, barely managing to meet his eyes. "You're right." She looked down. Sure, it was easy to say, but she wasn't sure it would ever be easy to do. Not when she was still so scared that it would drive him away. And she didn't know how to fix that. Then again, he was still here, and he knew that whatever was wrong with her might be serious, life threatening. He wasn't leaving now. Maybe he…maybe he wouldn't. The knot in her stomach loosened a bit, and she met his eyes with hers.

"So…" Hyde looked intently at her. "You'll tell me when stuff is going on and not just expect me to know?"

Jackie smiled softly. "Yeah," she said. His face softened, and she shrugged. "I uh…I have to go to the hospital tomorrow for some test." His lips curved up, and her heart relaxed. "Will you…will you come with me?"

He rubbed his hand over hers. "Course I will." Her eyes lit up slightly, and that made him smile. "You're my chick."

Jackie giggled, then stood up and moved her chair closer to his. He put his arm around her, and she snuggled into him. "Thank you."

Hyde shrugged and rubbed her shoulder, but his smile faded as he looked into her eyes. "So, uh, do you…" He tried to ignore that hollowness in his chest. "Do you want to talk about…it?"

Jackie shook her head. "No. In fact, I don't want to talk about it or think about it for the rest of the day." All she wanted was escape. Tomorrow she'd worry about it. Today she wanted to have fun. A playful smile crossed her lips, and she laid her hand on his knee. "Can we go out tonight?"

"Oh, I suppose," Hyde grumbled with a grin. Maybe they could go to the movie. Drive in, of course. And then maybe they could…

"Anywhere I want?"

His grin faded. "No." He recognized the look in her eyes. She knew where she wanted to go, and it was DEFINITELY no where HE wanted to go.

Jackie slowly slid her hand up his thigh and looked sexily at him. "Please?"

He stared impassively at her, even as her hand on his leg began making his body tremble. "No, Jackie." He grabbed her hand and trapped it on his thigh before she could make this situation very, very embarrassing for him.

"Oh, come on, Puddin' Pop."

"Jackie…"

"Well, look. We'll get everyone else to go with us." Her eyes gleamed wickedly. "And it'll be a great opportunity for you to get back at Donna for telling me that you…" She whispered. "_Cried._"

He stared at her. He was going to regret this, he just knew it. It probably involved disco somehow. Or unicorns. Or Donny Osmond. But she was giving him one of those sweet smiles, and of course, according to her, this was an opportunity to burn Donna. Could he really pass that up? Even if it meant doing something probably utterly humiliating?

And of course there was the fact that Jackie wanted to forget about what was going on. Just for a day. Hell, it was one night. If he could do that for her…well, she was his chick. And she was scared to death.

"Okay, fine. But I'm warning you, Jackie…"

Jackie squealed and bounced in her seat. "I know, I know, the last time for like, ever." She leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his lips. "Trust me, Steven. This will be great."

Hyde rolled his eyes. Trust her? Trust his unicorn, rainbow loving, Donny Osmond and Abba worshiping chick?

He groaned and dropped his shaking head into his free hand. "Oh, god!"


	5. Really In Love

**Disclaimer: **Don't own.

**Warning: **Mild language

**AN: **Okay, this chapter might be a little corny/cheesy. :giggle: I tried to keep that at bay, but you know how it is. :) Thanks SO much for the wonderful reviews! And for reading! My weekend is coming up, so hopefully I'll have a lot of writing time.

**Convincing **

Chapter 5 – Really In Love

Donna Pinciotti never imagined she'd be here on Friday night, standing against the wall that bordered the rink at Roller World. On skates. She'd been under the impression that these days were LOOOOONG past. But apparently, she'd been wrong. She glared sidelong at the so-called friend next to her. "I'm gonna kick your ass, Hyde," she hissed, but with a hint of a smile in her voice. "You heard how Eric squealed when Jackie told him where we were going. Now he's going to beg his mom to make him another 'Rainbow' outfit." She shook her head and glanced out at the floor, where Eric, Fez and Jackie were roller discoing to some lame Donna Summer song. "And this time he'll have no shame."

Hyde gave her a smug smile. "And that, Donna, is the only reason I let Jackie convince me to come here. Consider it…" He paused, then his grin widened. "Payback for you opening your big mouth." Okay, it wasn't the entire truth, but Donna didn't need to know otherwise. She already had enough on him.

Donna rolled her eyes. "Dillhole." She looked out at the floor again and couldn't help but smile. Jackie was skating alternately with Fez and Eric, and she was laughing like she hadn't in quite awhile. It was good to see. Very good. "At least Jackie's having a good time."

He found Jackie, and he gazed at her as she glided across the floor. Her face was flushed and lit up, and despite his utter disgust at being in this place, he grinned. She looked happy, like she wasn't at all worried about the CAT scan and what was going on in her head, or whether or not it would kill her. And he was glad about that. "Yeah, well, I guess it's worth it then," he said, not really thinking about how damaging just breathing this roller rink air was to his reputation.

Donna looked at him with raised eyebrows. He wasn't wearing his sunglasses for once, and his expression was almost…if she didn't know him better, she'd describe it as loving. "Hey, you're really…you're really in love with her, aren't you?" she asked teasingly. She chuckled. Why ELSE would Hyde set foot in Roller World? Sure, he wanted to see her suffer, but that didn't explain why he'd let Jackie rent skates for him. "You didn't let her convince you to come here because of Eric's…past. You let her convince you to come here because you've been worried about her and want to make her HAAAAPY."

Hyde flipped his head back to Donna. "What? No, no, no, no, no. I just wanted to see your face when you started having flashbacks of Forman…or should I say _Rainbow_, on wheels." It was true, but not completely, and he knew that Donna knew it too, so he looked away. His eyes quickly and almost involuntarily latched onto Jackie.

"Whatever. You let her put skates on you. You luuuuuuuuve her!"

He glared in response. "Shut up! No way am I roller discoing." He paused, then raised his shoulders in a sheepish shrug. "I just promised her I'd skate around the rink with her once. And that's ALL. Anyway, you're really one to talk. You've got skates on too."

Donna nodded in agreement, then decided to stop teasing him. "Look, its nothing to be embarrassed about. I mean…I think it's great." Hyde looked at her as if he wasn't quite sure if he believed her. "I mean it. You and Jackie…I mean, sure, at first we all were…well…disturbed and sickened, but now…" She smiled. "The two of you are…dare I say it…good together. "

"What, not perfect?" Hyde asked with a slight smirk.

"Please. Everyone knows that Eric and I are the perfect couple in this group." She grinned, but her smile faded into seriousness. "Seriously, she really loves you."

Hyde looked at her and answered quietly. "I know." The funny thing was, he did know. And it was the oddest feeling he'd ever experienced. He usually had no idea how to deal with it.

"So don't screw it up this time!"

He gave Donna an annoyed look at then looked back out at the rink. Why was it that every time he looked out there his eyes instantly found her? She saw him this time, too, and waved. He smiled back, but it didn't last. He couldn't help but think about what the doctor said. How if it was what he suspected, and they didn't treat it fast, it could end up killing her. The hollow feeling in the middle of his chest returned, and he barely saw her even as his eyes followed her around the rink, until the trio headed for the break in the wall he and Donna stood next to. He had to shake it off. This night was supposed to be fun. Well, fun for Jackie. And Eric. And Fez.

"Hey! Ready for our skate?"

He smiled at her chirping tone as she slid to a stop next to him. "I'm not skating," he said petulantly, knowing he'd get a rise out of her, knowing he'd love seeing that, and knowing he'd lose.

Jackie glared at him. "You promised, Steven!" She knew he was going to give in. He had to. And if he didn't, she'd hurt him. She'd kick him in the shin. And since she was wearing skates, it would hurt a hell of a lot more than it ever had when she'd been wearing boots.

Hyde shook his head. "If I promised, Jackie, then I wasn't listening. Haven't we talked about this before?"

She rolled her eyes and grabbed his left hand. She pulled him slightly away from the wall and giggled when he reached back for the wall to keep his balance. "Nope! Not this time! We're SKATING!" And with surprising force for someone so small, she tugged him away from the wall and towards the rink.

"Damn, Jackie! Not so fast!"

Donna and Eric laughed at Hyde. He could barely stay on his feet and was holding on to Jackie's hand for dear life as they started to skate.

"He looks like he's completely forgotten how his legs function," Donna commented, still laughing at her teetering friend.

Eric sighed and wrapped his arm around his girlfriend. "Well, being on wheels, pretty lady, is a bit different and requires practice. So…how about it?"

And before she could stop it from happening, she found herself being forced by a stunningly determined Eric out onto the floor.

_Two hours later, The Hub _

"Have I mentioned lately that you're my hero, Jackie?" Eric grinned and nodded at the group who had gathered around one table. "Yep. Now you've all discovered the joys of roller disco." He nodded at everyone. "We should do this every week."

Both Hyde and Donna responded with a very loud, very vehement word. "NO!"

Hyde glared at Eric. "Not a chance in hell. This was a one time thing." He paused, and turned to look at Jackie. She sat next to him, cuddled in not quite as close as he'd like. His arm was wrapped around her shoulder, and so he pulled her closer. "One time thing, Jackie." She responded with a sly smile and by rubbing her hand seductively up and down his thigh. He stared at her. "That's not going to work." Her hand moved higher, and he caught it with his free hand. "Hey!" She just giggled.

"Oh, Hyde, you enjoyed yourself. I saw you laughing," Fez accused, pouting. "And it was not because of my robot dancing on wheels, although I must say, that amused a great many people."

Jackie nodded. "Yeah, Steven, if you REALLY hate roller skating so much, why were you laughing?"

"Hey, I was only laughing because that kid cut Kelso off and made him fall on his ass."

Kelso chuckled goofily. "Yeah, that WAS funny. But I got that kid back. Next time he came around the rink, I dumped my pop down his pants." He and Fez laughed and high-fived one another.

Donna rolled her eyes. "Which is why you're now banned from Roller World for life." She thought about that, and her face twisted. "Damn, I should have done that!" Eric looked at her in shock, and she shrugged.

Jackie sighed. "Hey Eric, don't worry about it. Maybe you and I can come back next week, and these two…" She lightly elbowed Steven. "Can stay home and do something boring and dirty." After a moment of thought, she turned her face towards Steven and found him smirking at her. She glared. "Not dirty! Just boring!" And another elbow to his side, this time a bit harder.

An hour later, Jackie sat in the El Camino, waiting for Steven to stop fiddling with the radio so they could leave. She giggled. "You had fun, Puddin' Pop. Just like I knew you would."

Hyde finally got the radio turned into his regular station, annoyed that he'd let Jackie change it earlier, and he sat back. "I did not," he told her.

"You did too."

"I did not."

"Yes you did. You skated with me for an hour!"

He rolled his eyes. He was NEVER, EVER going to live this down. Ever. "Shut it, Jackie. I skated under duress. You wouldn't let go of my hand, and you have sharp nails." He raised his eyebrows. "It'll NEVER happen again!" She just smiled triumphantly at him, and he shook his head. God. Shaken down AGAIN. By a 95 pound brunette with pink…no, red right now…toenails. Red. He liked red better. Sexier. Mmmm….he'd like to see her toes bare right about now. He'd like to see all of her bare right about now. "But…I'm glad you had a good time."

She stared at him, a little surprised at how his voice had softened. She scooted across the seat to sit close to him, and smiled when he immediately leaned down to kiss her. After it ended, she slowly opened her eyes and gazed up at him.

"So…since we just did something you wanted to do, can we go do something I want to do?" Hyde asked with a sly smile and a single raised eyebrow.

Jackie had a good idea of just what it was he wanted to do and gave him her best come hither smile. She suddenly felt very flirtatious. He deserved a reward. After all, he'd gone skating with her, and she hadn't thought about the stupid test tomorrow much at all. "Sure." She turned sideways and pressed herself against Steven's shoulder. "As long as it's…" She kissed his earlobe. "Hot."

Hyde grinned. "Oh, it'll be hot," he replied. He put his hand on her thigh and slowly stroked it. "Trust me on that."

_An hour later _

Hyde parked the Camino in front of Jackie's apartment building and looked down at the head resting on his shoulder. He sighed in disappointment. He'd taken her to Lookout Point and they'd been happily and heatedly making out until she mentioned that she could be more…acrobatic in her bedroom since there was more space. So he'd driven her home, but on the way, she'd fallen asleep. He wasn't all that surprised, but damn, he'd wanted to sleep with her. It was all her fault, too, what with her sucking on his neck and rubbing his stomach and chest, teasing him and tempting him before basically demanding that they go back to her apartment. God, the car would have done just fine!

He frowned. He would never understand how girls could just shut it off like that. But hell. He couldn't be too mad. After all, she could…no. He didn't want to think about it.

He decided not to wake her up, and he carried her into her apartment. After he pulled the covers back, he laid her on her bed. She stirred, and he sat down next to her. Her eyes flickered open.

"Steven? Did I…" Jackie tried to sit up, but her body was too fatigued. She groaned softly and remained lying down. "Did I fall asleep?"

He smiled at her. "Yeah." He rubbed the hand that rested on her stomach. "So much for hot."

She blinked slowly. It was almost too difficult to keep her eyes open. "Oh, we were gonna do it," she murmured apologetically. "God, this keeps happening…Steven, I'm sorry."

Hyde shrugged. "It's okay."

"No, we still can," she said stubbornly, even though the only thing her body ached for was sleep. But she didn't want him to be mad or upset or disappointed. She took a deep breath and sat up. Her arms slowly lifted to wrap around his shoulders. "See?" She tried to look sexy, but then moaned and dropped her forehead to his shoulder. She was just too tired for anything.

He hugged her for a long moment, and then gently guided her back to the bed. "Just go to sleep, okay?"

"Will you stay with me?" she muttered sleepily.

"Yeah."

It seemed to take a little while, and she thought she heard him taking his shirt and his jeans off, but finally, he settled down in the bed next to her. They found their normal sleeping position; she was on her left side, and he curled himself behind her. She smiled slightly. This was how she was meant to sleep every night, with his strong arms around her and his breath caressing the back of her neck. "Steven?" she whispered.

"Yeah, dollface?" Hyde answered softly. He wasn't tired, and he knew he was going to be laying here awake for a long time. And eventually he'd have to get up to turn the light off. He couldn't sleep with the lights on. Jackie could, so he'd just wait till she was completely out.

"I'm really in love with you, Steven," Jackie whispered hoarsely. She felt this extreme sentimentality inside, a softness that brought tears that didn't hurt to her eyes. Thinking about all he'd done for her today; she just couldn't quite comprehend it all. And the only thing she could think of to say was that she loved him. Someday, she hoped, she'd give him this same feeling, somehow. "You don't have to say it back."

This was one of those moments Hyde was never sure how to handle. The honesty in her voice…damn it if it didn't still scare him half to death. He could lose this someday. He could lose her someday.

Maybe someday soon.

And so all he did was nuzzle the back of her neck a little bit and tighten his arm around her.


	6. Stealing Her Away

**Disclaimer: **Don't own.

**Warning: **Mild language

**AN: **I'm having so much fun writing this, I just can't seem to stop. I need to. I need to clean my apartment. Nah. I'd rather write this. Cleaning can wait :giggle: Thank you SO very much for reading and the reviews...they blow me away. You're all so generous! And I can't thank you enough for the feedback. Hope youareenjoying this!

**Convincing**

Chapter 6 - Stealing Her Away

_Two days later, the basement _

Donna sat on the far right of the couch, her arm loosely around Kelso. His head rested on her shoulder, and she patiently patted his, rolling her eyes only slightly. "I'm sorry Brooke dumped you, Kelso," she said soothingly, although frankly, she was surprised that it hadn't happened sooner. Brooke had never quite wholly warmed up to Kelso and the person he really was.

Kelso nodded sadly and lifted his head with a put upon sigh. "Yeah. She said she couldn't be with someone who would dump pop down a child's pants." He shook his head. "Damn, I don't understand her! That kid was no child!"

Eric stared at Kelso. "Yeah. He was just a…tiny adult."

Kelso pointed at him. "Exactly! And he was asking for it, too!" He sighed again and dropped his head to Donna's shoulder again. "She just didn't get it. She didn't get me. No one ever gets me. Except Jackie. Jackie's always gotten me."

Donna inwardly groaned. The last thing anyone needed was for Kelso to imagine he had feelings for Jackie again. She glanced over at Hyde's chair, expecting a reaction, but he hadn't appeared to even hear Kelso. He was staring off into space, as far as Donna could tell because of the sunglasses, not paying attention, and his left foot was tapping wildly. In fact, he'd been pretty quiet the past few days or so. Hadn't really burned anyone, and there had been plenty of opportunities. Weird. "Well, hey," she said quickly, hoping to deflect Kelso from the topic of Jackie just in case Hyde came to. "At least Brooke isn't going back to Chicago. You'll still be able to see Betsy."

Kelso shrugged. "Yeah, but still," he said dully. "Brooke is HOT and now I've gotta just try to IGNORE that. How can you just IGNORE hotness?"

Fez patted his friend's leg. "Cheer up, my friend," he said. "We're playing Monopoly. How can you not be happy when playing Monopoly? And I have candy." He held a bag of M&Ms towards Kelso. "You may have some since Brooke is such a whore." He shook his head.

Kelso lifted his head and smiled at Fez. "Thank you, Fez. I'm glad _someone_ understands my pain!" He reached into the bag and took a handful of candy, immediately stuffing the entire handful into his mouth. "Mmbfwe mbwe mwerfwef few mbwewfe mbwe."

Eric shook his head. "What?"

Kelso finished chewing and shot Eric a condescending look. "I said, Monopoly and M&Ms make everything better! God, don't you listen?" He shook his head at Fez, who looked equally as disgusted with Eric, then looked at the board. "Okay, Hyde, it's your turn." He waited for Hyde to reach for the dice, but the guy didn't move, and Kelso looked at him. "Hyde!"

Hyde shook his head and looked towards Kelso. "What the hell do you want, Kelso?" he snapped. He felt so out of it. Jackie hadn't been around today, and she wasn't answering her phone. He had no idea where she was or what she was doing, or if she'd heard from the doctor like she was supposed to have. And it really bothered him that he couldn't stop thinking about it or her. But ever since the tests at the hospital, he had to struggle to think about anything else.

"It's YOUR TURN!"

Hyde glanced down at the table and noticed the Monopoly board on the coffee table. He shook his head in irritation and tossed the play money he held in his hands to the middle of it. "Why are we playing this?"

Fez glared at Hyde. "Haven't you been listening? We are playing to cheer Kelso up! His heart has been broken!"

Hyde rolled his eyes. "Give me a break," he snarled. It just seemed so damn petty, especially because he knew for a fact that Kelso had, as per his usual pattern of behavior, been cheating on Brooke almost from the time they'd gotten together. "Like we didn't see THAT coming."

Fez's eyes remained indignantly on Hyde. "Be nice to him, you son of a bitch!"

Kelso looked at Hyde with narrowed eyes and an angry expression. "God, Hyde, what crawled up your butt today?"

Hyde crossed his arms over his chest and stared at the television set, setting his jaw to stop himself from telling Kelso exactly where to go. Maybe he was being an ass, but hell. He had a damn good reason. And if Jackie didn't either call or show up soon, he was going to be an ass to her just as soon as she did.

"And it's not just today. Lately you're especially assy." Kelso shook his head. "And you're always pulling Jackie off and whispering and stuff. Like you're keeping secrets." He made a face. "Last time you guys kept a secret it was that you were stealing her from me. Who are you stealing her away from now, Hyde, huh?"

Hyde stared at Kelso. How could a person over the age of six be so incredibly stupid? "Kelso, Jackie is my girlfriend," he said angrily. "I'm not stealing her away from anyone."

Kelso scoffed and looked away. "That's what YOU say."

The basement door opened and a slightly worn out looking Jackie walked in. Hyde looked at her, and she immediately met his eyes. "Hey."

"Hey, Jackie, we were just talking about how Hyde is stealing you away." Kelso said, giving her a grin.

Jackie frowned at him. "Stealing me away? From what?" She looked at Donna, who just shook her head. "Or who?"

"Uh…from…well, why don't you ask him? All I know is that he's stealing you from someone!" Kelso retorted, flustered by her need for details.

Jackie shook her head and looked at Steven again. "Whatever, Michael. Steven, can we…" She nodded her head towards his bedroom.

Hyde nodded and got up.

Kelso glared at them as the couple headed for Hyde's room. "See? They're going off to be alone again," he whined. He stood up. "Well, I'm gonna go listen!" He stood up and climbed over the couch, almost tripping in his clumsy haste to get to Hyde's bedroom door.

Hyde closed his bedroom door behind him then turned to Jackie. "Where have you been?" he asked just before leaning down and giving her a gentle kiss.

Jackie smiled, although she didn't feel like smiling, and wrapped her arms around his waist. "Were you worried about me?"

"Worried? Come on, I was just…" He trailed off and tightened his lips. Kelso was right outside the door. He just knew it. "Hang on." He pulled away from her and walked back to the door. Grimacing, he pulled the door open just a few inches, then slammed it back towards the frame, where he knew Kelso's head would be.

"OW! MY EYE!"

Hyde rolled his eyes at Kelso's moronic and sissified scream, and he pulled the door open enough to stick his head out. "Get the hell out of here, you moron!" he yelled. He shook his head and turned back to Jackie, shutting the door once again. "So…what's up?" He took his glasses off and hooked them on his shirt.

Jackie sat on Steven's cot and nervously twisted her hands together. "The doctor called," she said, her voice low and unusually quiet. She swallowed and looked down at the ground. She'd been panicked ever since the call and even an emergency trip to the mall hadn't soothed her. Even the long bath she'd taken hadn't eased the doom she felt in her stomach. "He wa…wla….wh…wants me to come in this afternoon." Steven didn't say anything, and she looked back up at him. His lips were pressed together. "It's bad news, Steven, I just know it. Otherwise, he just would have told me over the phone. But I have to go in. They always want you to come in when it's bad news. Or…" She paused. "Maybe I'm wrong?"

Hyde didn't miss the hope in her eyes. She wanted him to tell her that she was wrong. And he wished to God that he could, because he had the same feeling in his gut that she obviously did. There was something he could say, something she wouldn't believe, of course, but maybe would help, even if just for a minute. "You never know," he said. "Look, they WANT you to come in for an appointment, good news, bad news, whatever. It's all about money, man. You go in you have to pay 'em. You don't, and they call you, they get no money. In fact, they have to pay for the phone call."

Jackie gave him a tiny smile, despite herself. Steven and his conspiracy theories. "So it's just a conspiracy, huh?"

He nodded his head. "Yep."

Her smile faded after a moment. "Do you really think that's all it is?"

All he could do was stare at her. How could he answer that? He didn't know, and yet he felt like he DID know. And the answer wasn't what either of them wanted it to be.

_Something was really, really wrong. _

Instead of saying anything, he sat down next to her. Her doe eyes, full of fear, pierced his, and he swallowed hard. There just wasn't anything he could say. At least nothing he could think of.

_Jackie just wants you there with her. _

Maybe it didn't matter, not right now. Maybe he could just…be there, like Mrs. Forman said.

He slipped his arm around her shoulder. She smiled weakly, and he responded by leaning down and brushing his lips gently over hers. His eyes closed and he pressed a dozen more soft and sweet kisses on her responding lips. Afterwards, he pulled away slowly, his eyes still locked on hers. God, she was beautiful, even now when she was so upset.

Jackie laid her head on his shoulder and was surprised that the tears in her chest weren't rising to her eyes. It was bad news. She felt it in her bones, and obviously Steven did too, otherwise he would have answered her last question with more than kisses. She should be sobbing, even as unattractive as that was. But she was cold inside, frozen almost to the point of being numb. The only warmth she felt was the lingering feeling of those kisses and his hand slowly stroking her shoulder. And she wanted it to never end. Right now, all she wanted was to be here, with him. At least for a moment, she could get caught up in him and try to forget everything else.

For a few minutes, they sat together, her head on his shoulder, her hand on his thigh, his arm around her, his hand rubbing her shoulder and the side of her head, neither of them speaking, both of them trying to ignore reality.

"So uh…" Hyde cleared his throat. The silence was deafening and stifling, made him feel like he was choking. "What time is your appointment?"

Jackie lifted her head and gave him a weary, fake smile. "Three."

He looked at his watch. "So we have time to stop at the Hub. You want…how about a cheeseburger?" He gazed at her and smiled sadly. "Wrapped in tinfoil. It's shiny."

She released a tiny giggle. "Shiny is good," she answered, trying to keep her voice light. "Of course, a cheeseburger's not as good as, say, a shiny bracelet or something, but I'll deal with it."

Hyde rolled his eyes, but grinned and was inwardly glad to hear a jewelry reference from her. It was so her. And while it might have annoyed him beyond belief a couple months ago, now it was a moment of sweet reassurance. "Come on," he said, just before giving her a quick kiss and standing up. He grabbed her hand and pulled her up, and they left the room.

Kelso turned around on the couch when he heard Hyde's door open, and he watched as Hyde led Jackie towards the basement door. "Where're you going?"

Hyde glared at him. "Out."

Kelso leapt to his feet. "I wanna go too."

"Forget it, Kelso."

Kelso pouted as Hyde and Jackie exited, and he flopped back down on the couch angrily. "Man, what is WITH Hyde? He keeps acting like Jackie belongs to him!"

Eric and Donna exchanged glances, and Eric began speaking as slowly and as patiently as he could. "Well, Kelso, she is his girlfriend, so I guess he…you know, has the right to want to be alone with her."

Kelso glared at Eric. "No he doesn't. And he doesn't have to be all…possessive with her! He's just selfish!"

Fez patted his hand. "Do not worry, Kelso. You still have me." He held the bag of M&Ms out again. "And M&Ms."

Kelso looked at Fez. "Thank you, Fez. YOU are a true friend. Unlike some people. Like people named Hyde."

Donna shook her head, but she was distracted. As misguided as Kelso was, she had to admit that he was right about Jackie and Hyde. They'd both been very quiet and secretive the past few days. And it worried her. "Does anyone else think something weird is going on with them? I mean…I think something may actually be wrong."

Fez gasped lightly. "Maybe she really is pregnant!"

Kelso suddenly smiled again. "And maybe it's my baby!" Everyone stared at him. "What? It could be! I'm good at gettin' girls pregnant!"

Eric sighed. "Kelso, to get a girl pregnant, you have to have sex with them. You know that, don't you?"

Kelso glared at him. "Of course I know that, Eric, god!"

Donna stared at him. "Well, then how could this be your baby?"

"Cause Jackie and I did it, Donna, damn!" He shook his head at her. "I thought you were supposed to be smart!"

Eric raised an eyebrow. "You did it recently? Are you sure you don't mean three years ago?"

Kelso huffed. "We did it last night!" Everyone still stared. "Okay, fine, I dreamed that we did it. But everyone knows that dreams are just as real as…reality, so it happened!" He shook his head and crossed his arms over his chest.

Eric rolled his eyes. "Kelso…"

Donna lightly elbowed her boyfriend and shook her head. "Don't bother," she said softly. She looked at him. "Nothing you say will get through."

Eric nodded and mumbled in disgust. "Ain't that the truth!"


	7. I Want You to Live

**Disclaimer: **I don't own.

**Warning: **Mild language

**AN:** Okay, we finally find out what's wrong with Jackie! I did research it and and was as accurate as possible, but of course it's way oversimplified here. The symptoms she's demonstrated are real, but maybe a bit dramatized for the sake of the story. So I tried to be as realistic as I possibly could while not getting too deep into the medical aspect of it.As always, thanks so much for reading and the reviews!

**Convincing **

Chapter 7 – I Want You to Live

Jackie sat stiffly in her chair and stared dumbly at Dr. Spandley. Another doctor sat next to him, a neurologist named Dr. Maconi, she thought he'd told her. Of course, she wasn't entirely sure. The minute she and Steven sat down, and she'd seen the look on Dr. Spandley's face, she'd known her fears had been right. And little after that had made much of an impression on her, until now. Until he told her that she had a brain aneurysm…whatever that was. He'd explained it at the last appointment, but she didn't remember anything about it. She couldn't move; she couldn't feel; she couldn't think. It was like the world was spinning so fast around her that she was forced completely still. She thought she heard Steven asking the doctor to explain aneurysm again, but she wasn't quite sure. Maybe it was in her head.

It wouldn't be the only thing, apparently.

"An aneurysm is a weak and bulging area on the wall of an artery. Like a thin balloon. Most of these form in the front of the brain, like yours, and they form without warning, usually from wear and tear on the artery. However, they can also form as the result of trauma or illness."

Hyde sat next to Jackie, holding her hand. Her hand was so cold, and he rubbed it, trying to warm it up. "So…wait." Trauma? She'd had a bad concussion after the car accident. "Did…did this happen because of her car accident?" he asked. God. If so…then this was his fault, too.

Dr. Maconi chimed in. "Well, it's hard to say for sure, but we believe it certainly contributed, given the fact that Jackie is so young and has no family history of aneurysm."

Hyde stared at him. Certainly contributed. Damn doctor double talk. Why couldn't he just say yes or no? Guilt began to claw at his stomach again. First she'd almost died in the accident, now she had some balloon like…thing in her brain…all because of him and those crappy words he'd said to her. Crappy words he hadn't even meant.

Her fingers moved under his hand, and he looked at her. She slowly turned her head to his, and he had never seen her look so helpless. Her mouth opened, like she wanted to speak, but no words came out. Instead, her lips just trembled. He pursed his lips…damn, he didn't know what to do. And so he just looked at her and held her hand tighter in his.

"The good news is that it's unruptured. This makes treatment much easier and recovery time a lot less. However…"

Both Hyde and Jackie immediately turned back towards the doctors when Dr. Spandley said "however".

"The size troubles us. It's fairly large, and since you've been symptomatic, the chances of it rupturing are much greater than we would feel comfortable leaving untreated."

Jackie released a slight gasp, and Hyde looked at her again. This time, her entire body was trembling, and he let go of her hand to wrap his arm around her shoulders. He pulled her and her chair as close to him as he could, and her free hand gripped his thigh. "So what does that mean? I mean…what do we do now?" he asked, looking back and forth between the doctors. "And shouldn't we get a second opinion?"

"You're free to do so, of course, but you should know that the entire neurology department has looked at the scan, and we all agree," Dr. Manconi said patiently. "And time is of the essence here. I don't want to scare you, Jackie, but I'm very concerned that the aneurysm is on the verge of rupturing. If it does, you're at risk of brain damage, coma, paralysis…and death." He sighed. "We need to treat it. With surgery. And as soon as possible."

"Surgery?" Hyde's voice cracked to his chagrin, but then again, right now maybe he shouldn't give a damn. In fact, he really didn't. "On her…on her head? Isn't there any other way?"

Jackie closed her eyes. Why couldn't she breathe? Why did it feel like her chest was being crushed by some huge, runaway, out of control train?

_Death. You're going to die. You're never going to get married or have kids or be on television or star in the Ice Capades or meet Donny Osmond or…anything. _

She had to find some way to breathe. Or was she already dead? Had the thing in her brain just burst and killed her? Was that why she couldn't get air to her lungs? Was that why she couldn't feel any part of her body?

But then why could she still see? She could see the doctors in front of her, talking and looking at her. Something about surgery, clipping the aneurysm, the risks of having the surgery, the risks of not having it, she needed to decide, they recommended strongly that she have the surgery.

She flipped her head to the right, and there was Steven, his face tense and almost puzzled as he watched the doctors. Her mouth opened. "Steven." She prayed that he heard her, because her voice sounded so tiny and quiet to her ears.

He turned to her. She was pale, ghostly pale, and shaking harder, all over. And she was gasping. "Jackie, take it easy," he said, not quite knowing what else to do. "Breathe." She just looked at him, stricken like she was caught from behind by the grim reaper. Instinctively he leaned forward and kissed her, breathing into her and hoping to God that somehow, it would calm her down. At least a little. It seemed to work, because when he pulled back, he noticed that her chest was rising more slowly, more controlled. "You okay?"

She nodded and stared into his eyes. God, he made her feel safe. Even when she wasn't. Even when he really couldn't protect her. Still. "Yeah," she breathed softly. "Just…" Her left arm curled up to her shoulder and her fingertips brushed his hand. "Just don't let go." She took a shallow breath and managed to pull herself together, sort of. And she turned back to the doctors. "I…I'm sorry."

Dr. Spandley smiled understandingly. "Its okay, Jackie. I know it's a shock. And I want to do whatever I can to make it easier for you."

"Can you…can you tell me all of that again? I mean, about the surgery?"

Hyde watched her as the doctors again explained the surgery, the risks, the risks of not having it at all, and he began to feel angry. These doctors were saying that she had to have her head cut open. Her HEAD cut open! And they were saying it like it was the most natural, understandable thing in the world.

It wasn't. Not to him.

"Wait a second," he said, interrupting the doctor without thinking. He glared at the doctor and sat up straight. "Are you sure this is the only way to treat this? And not just a way for you to pad your pockets?" The doctors looked at him incredulously. "Yeah, see, I know how it works. You tell people they have no other choice but to have surgery, scare 'em into believing it, then charge them thousands of dollars for it. The more serious the surgery, the more money you charge. I bet brain surgery is the most profitable, huh?"

Jackie glared at him. "Steven!"

He glared back. "What? Look, I'm sorry if I don't want to just let them cut your head open without question."

Her heart melted, and for the moment, everything else was forgotten. He wanted to protect her! He didn't want to LET them cut her open! "Oh, Steven, that's so…"

Hyde gave her a warning look. "Shut it, Jackie."

"Look, Steven," interrupted Dr. Maconi.

Hyde winced. He didn't like people calling him Steven. Unless they were Mrs. Forman or Jackie.

"I assume you want Jackie to live."

Hyde glared at him. "Of course I do! Don't try to scare me with that crap." He felt Jackie's eyes on him, but stubbornly refused to look at her. "I just want to make sure that there's no other way. Man, if there is, you need to tell us."

Dr. Maconi nodded, and his expression was grave. His voice lowered and he spoke deliberately. "She. Needs. This. Surgery."

Hyde closed his eyes and swallowed over and over again. He heard Jackie whimpering, but he couldn't look at her. And he couldn't keep touching her. He took his hand off her shoulder, then pulled his arm out from around her.

Damn it. His chick. His pretty little dollface. Now they had to cut her head open and mess around with her brain…all because of what HE had said to her.

His guilt became a machete, ripping him from the inside out. His eyes opened and he stared at his hands resting on his legs. He was almost surprised to see that none of his skin was torn open and bleeding.

"Steven?" Jackie repeated, this time in a broken whisper. She needed him to look at her, needed him to respond to her. He'd taken his touch away, he'd taken his eyes away; and she felt a frigid chill of fright all over her body. Was he already starting to leave her? Was it just too much? Was she going to have to somehow find strength she didn't have to get through this? "Steven, what should I do?"

He almost laughed. _You should give up on me. All I ever do…all I WILL ever do…is hurt you. Even though I…god, I really love you, however the hell that happened. But now you have to have surgery…because of me. _

"Steven?"

"I want you to live, Jackie," he whispered hoarsely, still not looking at her, now staring at the floor. "I just…" He took a deep breath, then lifted his head and looked at her. His chick. His pretty little dollface. "I…I think you should have the surgery. If it's…if it's the only…way."

Jackie sucked in a shallow breath, and the room was spinning once more. So many feelings rushed through her, in all different directions. She felt his hand on top of hers again, saw him trying to smile at her, just a little bit and strained, heard him repeat himself to her again. And despite the fear that was growing into almost a second person inside of herself, she felt strong enough to make the choice she had to. She didn't want to die. She wasn't ready to die.

And so she turned to the doctors, clutching Steven's hand tightly. "I…I'll have the…the surgery."

_An hour later, the parking lot of the hospital _

Jackie and Hyde sat in the El Camino in silence. All the arrangements had been made; Jackie would go into the hospital on Friday morning, three days away, and that afternoon would have the surgery.

And both of them felt about two hundred pounds heavier than they had just that morning.

Finally, Hyde looked over at her. "So, uh…you…" Why did he feel so damn uncomfortable? Oh yeah. That's right. Because Jackie was going to have brain surgery in three days. "You wanna go to the mall or something?"

It was stupid. Trivial. And something he utterly detested. The damn mall. But it was the only thing he could think of. What exactly were you supposed to do after scheduling brain surgery for your girlfriend?

Jackie smiled weakly at him. The fact that he'd just offered to take her to the mall meant so much to her, and someday soon she'd tell him that. But right now, she needed to just be at home. Alone. Just to try to get her bearings, somehow. "No, that's okay," she answered. "I just…actually, can you just take me home? I…I just kind of want to be alone right now." He stared at her, and she hurried to continue. "Just for a little while."

"Yeah, I don't think that's a good idea, Jackie," he said. And he didn't. It left a sick feeling in his stomach. He supposed that was what worry felt like.

"No, really, Steven. I just…I want to take a long bubble bath, maybe listen to some Donny Osmond or ABBA." She shrugged. "Maybe both. I know you hate them, so…"

His lips curved upwards. "Hey, I could put up with a little ABBA if I got to watch you take a bubble bath."

She giggled, but it lasted only a few seconds. The couple stared at one another for a long moment.

"Just for a little while, Steven."

The quiet, sweet plea in her voice brought that sick feeling in his stomach up to his heart, and he nodded reluctantly, even though he wanted to fight her. "Fine. But I want you to call me in a couple hours, okay?"

She smiled gratefully and reached out to stroke his thigh. "Okay. I will. And…thank you."

Ten minutes later, they stood in front of Jackie's apartment door. Hyde sighed heavily as he looked down at her, and before he could stop himself, he pulled her into a tight hug. Maybe too tight; he heard and felt her gasp. But then again, she was holding onto him just as tightly.

_Never too tight. Never too close. Not now. Not anymore. _

He closed his eyes and inhaled her sweetness, savored the softness of her body, the determination of the hold she had on him. He turned his head and brushed his lips softly, feather-lightly over her ear. To hell with all his pride and all his Zen. This was his chick. And she need to know, to hear it. "I love you, dollface," he said in a voice just barely above a whisper.

The warmth of his breath and the restrained but palpable passion of his words made Jackie shiver. "Oh Steven," she whispered, her eyes misting with tears while she pressed her body into his. But she drew back and looked into his eyes. "I love you too, Puddin' Pop."

They kissed slowly and sweetly, their lips coupling languidly, their tongues tenderly touching almost chastely.

And neither of them wanted it to ever end.


	8. Lie To Me!

**Disclaimer: **If I owned them, life would be much more fun.

**Warning: **Some language

**AN: **This was a hard one for me to get out for some reason. Boy, thanks for the reviews on the last chapter!I couldn't stop grinning. Hope you enjoy this one...Just remember, I love happy endings! And thanks to everyone...you're all so supportive!

**Convincing **

Chapter 8 – Lie to Me!

An insistent knocking stirred Jackie out of her sleep, and she groggily lifted her head from the couch. She stared at the door in confusion, and then recognized Steven's voice coming from the other side of the apartment door.

"Jackie!"

She groaned. Her body ached, and she didn't want to get up. She wanted to go back to sleep. Sleep was good. So very, very good.

"Jackie, damn it, I know you're in there!"

She whimpered and reluctantly rolled off the couch. Steven sounded angry, and while the thought of him kicking the door in just to get to her was quite appealing, she knew her quirky landlord (and Fez) probably wouldn't appreciate it. She stumbled to the door and quickly unlocked and opened it. "Hi," she said, gazing sleepily up at her scowling boyfriend.

Hyde stared at her as he breathed fully for the first time in three hours. She looked rumpled, and her eyes were glossy and slightly puffy, obviously from sleep. Better not mention that. He knew from experience that Jackie didn't like having flaws pointed out to her. "You, uh…" He took a deep breath. God. This girl made him so incredibly stupid he'd almost panicked after those hours with no phone call. "You didn't call." He'd waited around the basement, and when she never called, all he could think was that the aneurysm had ruptured and she was lying in her bathtub unconscious or something. Idiot doctors and their scare tactics.

And damn it, they worked.

"I'm sorry," she replied, reaching for his hands and pulling him into the apartment. He pushed the door closed behind him, and she put her hands on his chest. "After my bath I feel asleep on the couch." Her hands slipped around his waist and she pressed herself up against him. "Aww, Puddin' Pop, were you worried?"

He started to protest but changed his mind. Instead of saying anything, he leaned down and kissed her softly, allowing his lips to linger just a few moments longer than he normally would in a non-make out kiss. When it broke, she looked up at him with that satisfied, I've-got-you-just-where-I-want-you look, and he rolled his eyes. But his lips twitched upwards. At least, and in spite of everything, she was still Jackie. God. He'd never actually thought he'd be thankful for that, but he was.

They moved to the couch and sat down together. She scooted close to him; he put his arm around her shoulders and watched her as she traced circles with her index finger on his leg. She looked pale and exhausted, but he didn't see any traces of her crying. And as weird and almost mean as it seemed, that disturbed him. She was a crier. A big time crier. "So…you okay?" he asked uncertainly. His stomach twisted; he shouldn't have asked. Because if she wanted him to comfort her, he didn't know how the hell he was going to do it.

But he asked. He wanted to know. He _needed_ to know.

How had this happened to him?

Jackie tried to force a bright and convincing smile. "I'm fine, Steven," she chirped, her voice sounding fake even to herself. He wasn't wearing his glasses, and her eyes became trapped in his. And for some reason, all of that feeling deep inside of her, the stuff she'd drowned out during her bath with "Puppy Love" and "Dancing Queen", it all burst up to her throat. Something in his eyes that he always tried to hide broke her pride, gave her the permission she'd denied herself for the past few hours. She collapsed into him and burst into tears, tearing sobs that almost immediately became violent.

Hyde slowly put his arms around her and held her. He closed his eyes and tried to swallow away the lump in his throat. This was probably the point where he should say something. Something nice and comforting and reassuring. Something that would stop her from crying this way. Because he hated it when she cried this way. He felt all…edgy when she did. But he couldn't. In fact, his mind had never felt as void of thought as it did right now.

_Jackie just wants you there with her,_ Mrs. Forman had told him. Well, he was there, with her. Maybe it was enough. It had to be, because he had nothing else.

She pulled away, and Hyde's heart sank. Her eyes flooded over and the tears streamed down her cheeks like rivers heading for an ocean home. Her chest heaved with continuing sobs, and a slight gasping sound pierced the tight line of her lips. He'd never seen her face, her pride and joy, twisted this way, ugly with pain and fear.

"It's going to be okay, isn't it, Steven?" Jackie whimpered, her voiced broken and throaty and ugly and raw. Exactly how she felt inside. Shredded and bleeding. She gripped his shoulders. "The surgery…it's gonna fix this and I'll be okay…everything will be fine…right?"

He stared at her. Fine? Okay? Fixed? Not with his luck. No, with his luck, the surgery would end up…his eyes squeezed closed. No. Damn it. Don't even think it.

Ha. Easier said than done.

_She'll probably die. The surgery will probably kill her. Those asinine doctors will probably screw up and kill her. That's my luck. _

How in the hell could he tell her that it was going to be okay when he didn't know…when he didn't even really BELIEVE that it was going to be okay? Because if he told her, if he did all he could to convince her, he'd want to believe it. He'd want to be convinced. And then when something happened to her, the way deep down he was sure it would, he'd have nothing left except for the memory of how he'd lied to her.

He'd done that before. Couldn't do it again.

Jackie kept her eyes on him, although she could hardly see him through the tears. He wasn't speaking, just looking at her, and that beat at her stomach. "Steven? I'm…I'm gonna be…okay, right?"

He didn't answer, just kept looking at her, and Jackie backed away. Her breaths became shorter and desperate; why couldn't he just tell her that she was going to be okay? Why couldn't he just take her back in his arms, stare down into her eyes and whisper to her that she would be fine? And that he would make sure she was fine? Because he loved her so much, he'd die before letting anything ever happen to her? "Steven…"

"Jackie, I don't know, okay?" Hyde snapped, more roughly than he really wanted to. The stricken look on her face stung him, and he sighed and looked away. His eyes closed, as if that would give him the ability to just say what she wanted to hear. But when he turned back to her and opened his eyes, those words didn't come. He just shook his head and spoke nearly under his breath. "I just…I don't know." Her eyes flashed with hurt, disappointment, and he reached to cup her face with his hands. God…he just couldn't deal with this. Obviously. "Jackie…"

She pushed him away and stood up, her body stiff with fright and anger. She glared at him so hard she could feel it in her bones, in a way she'd only felt a few other times. "Steven, just tell me that I'm going to be okay! I don't…I don't…I don't care that you don't know….JUST TELL ME!" Her voice rose to a strident, almost screeching level.

He shook his head, utterly helpless. He wanted badly to say it, to be able to say it…but he couldn't. _Just like I never can. Never can, probably never will. _His shoulders slumped. "How can I?" he said in a low and defeated voice. Something hot suddenly stung his eyes, and he looked away, fighting it. "I…I don't know."

She shook her head, her chest rising and falling rapidly. "You don't have to MAKE it okay for me, Steven! I don't expect you to do anything…just…can't you just…just please….LIE TO ME! Just LIE to me and tell me that it's…that I'm not gonna…that I'm gonna…" She dropped her head into her hands and sobbed.

Why couldn't he just tell her it was going to be okay? Why was it so damn hard? Why did he have to MAKE it so damn hard?

He set his jaw stubbornly. "I'm not going to lie to you, Jackie." She thought she wanted to be lied to. Hell, she really did. But why bother? Why fool her – himself – into hoping for the best when chances were only the worst was waiting for them?

She snapped her head up, her heart shredding open. His eyes were on her, but when she met them, for the first time, at least that she could remember, he looked away from her. As if he was ashamed. As if he…as if he knew he should, but just…just didn't want to. Like it was too much of a bother.

_Too much of a bother. That's what I am to him. _

"You…" Her voice quivered, and her body throbbed with pain. "You don't give

a damn, do you?"

Hyde gaped at her, rendered momentarily speechless. Almost without feeling it, he stood up. "What the hell?"

"You don't care about me at ALL!"

His brow furrowed. How in the hell had she come up with THIS? God! He didn't care about her at all? Shit! How could she think that? How the hell COULD she? Hadn't be BEEN there for her? Hadn't he gone with her to her doctor's appointments? Hadn't he asked those stupid bastards questions she never would have thought of? He'd gone ROLLER SKATING with her! "Jesus, Jackie…"

"NO! If you really cared, if you REALLY CARED, STEVEN, you'd lie and tell me that I'm going to be okay!"

He stepped towards her. "So, I have to lie to you in order for you to feel like I care about you? Is that how this goes?" His voice was tight and angry.

"Yes!"

"Oh my god, Jackie, that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard in my life!"

"Well, I guess I'm just stupid, aren't I?" She tried to wipe away tears, but there were more on her cheeks and underneath her lower eyelashes almost instantly. The sobs were so strong she felt like her chest was going to explode, and she clasped her hand over her mouth in an attempt to keep them inside. She shook her head. It wasn't working.

And all she could think about was that he just didn't care.

She lifted her eyes and looked tearfully at Steven. "Stupid enough to think that you…that you actually lov…" Her voice, her soul, her heart broke, and she turned her head away. "Just leave."

Hyde took a deep breath. His hands balled into fists next to his thighs, but he managed to keep the anger off his face. But he wasn't able to ignore it, or the hurt. And he should have been able to. Hell, he'd expected this to happen, to not be enough for her and for her to realize it. Now she did. Now it was probably just a matter of time before they were over. Again. To his disgust, that thought brought him nothing but…fear. He didn't want to lose her…again.

And he was petrified that he would.

"Good idea," Hyde hissed lowly, coldly, using all his energy to banish that stupid, sissy fear.

Her head jerked back towards him and their eyes locked; heated, angry, passionate eyes that guarded two frightened souls.

Jackie's voice trembled. "Maybe you should go to Vegas or something."

He looked at her for a moment longer, his blood running cold. Ice cold with guilt. And anger that was quickly becoming rage. Leave it to Jackie to bring THAT up. Leave it to Jackie to be a petty bitch.

Andleave it to Jackie to drive him to his knees. Or at least try to. Hell, she'd succeedif he stayed here any longer.

She watched him jerkily walk away from her to the door, and when it slammed behind him, she jumped slightly. The reverberation of the door bouncing in its frame seemed to reverberate in her head; a sharp, blinding pain shot through her right temple. She released a soft yelp, reached for her head and slid to the ground. She sat just in front of the couch, and as she began to wail, she lay her head down on it, her hand still holding her agonized temple.

She cried. He'd left her. And he probably wasn't going to come back.

God, why had she brought up Vegas? Why had she made such a big deal out of him saying that she was going to be okay? So he couldn't tell her that! So he didn't want to lie to her! Wasn't that a good thing? Shouldn't she be relieved that he couldn't lie to her?

She almost inhaled the upholstery of the couch as she tried desperately to catch air.

And like so many other times before, Jackie cried her eyes out and wished she could turn back time so she could handle things with Steven differently. So differently. So that he would stay with her. So that he would love her.

So he could just hold her like he had before she'd gotten all teary.

Damn. Why did she always, always, always screw things up?


	9. Hypothetical Question

**Disclaimer: **I don't own.

**Warning:**Mild language

**AN: **Here's another chapter! It's my weekend, so hopefully I'll have more very soon! Thanks so very much for the reviews...I so enjoy reading them. Hope you're enjoying the story! Originally I thought it would be about 10 chapters...that's shot all to heck. :) I've still got aways to go with it. Which is fine with me. I love writing. :)

**Convincing **

Chapter 9 – Hypothetical Question

Hyde lay on his cot, staring up at the ceiling. He could hear Kelso, Fez and Eric talking and laughing in the main room of the basement, but he remained still. He wanted nothing to do with those guys right now. He wanted nothing to do with most anything right now. Even his stash and his beer seemed like meaningless crap, and that was disturbing. Especially because those were the only things that would dull his mind enough to get Jackie off of it. And he wanted her off of it.

Damn her.

A sharp knock on his door was followed by the door opening, and he rolled his head on the pillow towards the sound of footsteps.

"Hey Hyde, we're going bowling. Wanna come?"

Hyde glanced up and found Forman standing above him, then closed his eyes and rolled his head back to its original position. "No."

Eric persisted. "Come on, man. There will be beer." He rolled his eyes. "And candy. Fez says he's feeling generous tonight and is willing to share his…" He curled his fingers into air quotes. "Secret candy stash with us."

"As great as that sounds, no."

Eric shrugged. "Your loss, man. I mean, you really can't beat beer and Smarties." He rolled his eyes and turned to leave the room.

Hyde sat up and threw his legs off the side of the cot. "Hey, Forman, wait." Forman turned back, and Hyde shrugged. He was never much into this talking/confiding crap, but for some reason, now, he felt inclined to. God only knew why.

_Because you're freaking out, man! _

"Got a minute?" _  
_

Eric stood still for a moment, staring at Hyde curiously. Wasn't often that Hyde wanted to sit down and talk. It was weird. "Sure," he said, finally taking the few steps over to the cushions across from his friend. He sat down. "What's up?"

Hyde leaned forward to rest his elbows on his knees and pointed at Forman. "Okay, first off, the only reason I'm talking to you about this is because you're…disturbingly good at this girly talking stuff."

Eric's eyes shifted as he pondered that rather backhanded compliment. "Gee, thanks…I think."

Hyde sighed and looked down at the ground. His fingers tapped rapidly on his knees. "Okay. Hypothetical question. What would you do if…if Donna…" He looked up at Forman. "If Donna was sick…"

"Sick?" Eric interrupted, his back becoming ram rod straight. "Wait, do you know something I don't know?"

Hyde rolled his eyes impatiently. "I said it was hypothetical!"

Eric relaxed. "Good, because I know how sometimes she talks to you when she doesn't…" He shook his head disbelievingly. "Want to talk to me for whatever reason. Which I still don't really understand since I'm her boyfri.."

"Forman!"

Eric's eyes widened. "What?"

"Focus, man!" Hyde shook his head as Forman held up his hands in acquiescence, then sighed heavily. Now or never. He could still back out. Change the subject real quick with some slick excuse. "Okay. Say Donna was sick…"

"Seriously sick?"

"Seriously sick. And she wants you to tell her that she's going to be okay, but you don't think she's going to be." He paused, trying not to think about the devastation of Jackie's face when he just couldn't speak those stupid words. "Do you say it anyway? Even though you don't think…no, you KNOW its not going to be?" He looked back at the ground as his stomach turned roughly. Actually voicing his thoughts…it was just too real.

Something in the tone of Hyde's voice, and the way he was keeping his eyes closed just a second longer than necessary after blinking made Eric think that this wasn't really hypothetical at ll. "Is this…is this about Jackie?"

Hyde's head shot up. "Jackie's fine," he snapped quickly, defensively. Lying through his teeth.

Eric slowly shook his head. "I don't think so." Hyde was about to protest, and Eric raised his voice. "Look, we all know that something is wrong with her. And I'm not just saying that because she's the devil." Hyde gave him a hard look before standing up and beginning to pace back and forth in front of the cot. That told Eric that he was right, that his feeling had been right, that something was definitely and seriously wrong. "Hyde, what's going on? We're all…we're all getting worried."

Hyde stopped walking and looked at Forman to see if he was being sarcastic, but found genuine concern on his face. Boy. Genuine concern. Maybe they were all going soft in their old age. Old. Right. He was hardly out of his teens and he felt like an old man. God, this shouldn't be happening. She was too young. Too damn young.

"Hyde?"

He pursed his lips. He shouldn't say anything…he didn't know what Jackie wanted to say to their friends about it. They hadn't gotten that far. But then again…maybe it would be okay. Forman would find out eventually. And maybe he'd get some perspective if he talked to someone. Hell. When had he started looking for perspective? Or reaching the point where he needed it? He took a deep breath. "Okay, but you can't tell anyone, Forman. Not even Donna. I mean it." Forman nodded, and Hyde sat back down on his cot, rubbing his hand over his face. "Jackie's got this…thing on one of the arteries in her brain."

Eric's heart paused. "Brain?"

"Yeah. Something called an aneurysm." Hyde sighed at Forman's quizzical look. The last thing he wanted to do was explain it. "It's like this thin, weak, bulging spot on the artery." He looked up at the ceiling. _One that could burst at any minute and kill her. _

Eric raised his eyebrows. "That sounds…bad."

"It is."

Eric waited for Hyde to elaborate, but he didn't, and Eric suddenly found it a bit harder to breathe. "It's not…I mean, it's not going to kill…" Hyde looked at him. "She's not going to di…"

Hyde swallowed hard. "It could. If it ruptures. She could." He stood up and resumed pacing. "She has to have surgery on Friday. The only way they can fix it…they have to cut her head open."

Eric closed his eyes. God, what in the hell was he supposed to say? I'm sorry your girlfriend has to have her head cut open, but I'm sure it will all work out? Somehow that just didn't seem right. He shook his head. "God, Hyde, I just…" He shrugged helplessly. "My god." He was stunned. Nothing like this had ever happened to one of them before. Yeah, they'd all seen their share of the hospital, but usually for stupid things, like falling off the water tower or setting themselves on fire. But never anything like this, aside from Jackie's car accident. Even that seemed minor compared to this. Brain surgery.

God. She'd grown on him. He could even admit, to himself anyway, that she was his friend.

Hyde turned around and faced Forman, halting his pacing. "She wants me to tell her that she's going to be okay. And I just…I can't, man." He scratched the back of his head that had no itch. "Because even if the surgery…" His eyes closed for a moment. "Even if they fix it, she still…there's all these possible complications…she could have a stroke, or bleeding in her brain, or…I just…I can't tell her that it's all going to be okay because it's not." There was that heat in his eyes again, and he had to wince hard to stop it. No way in hell would he let Forman see that. No way in hell. He turned and walked to the other side of the room, putting his hand on the wall and lowering his head to rest on his forearm.

Eric stood up. He was unsure of what to do. Hyde was…tormented was the only word Eric could think of. And that was so…unusual and disconcerting. Hell, they'd always teased Hyde about not having a heart. But over the last couple years, he'd shown otherwise. And he hadn't even seemed to mind, well at least not as much as he used to. Ever since…

_Ever since Jackie. _

_  
_"God, Hyde, I'm so…I just…" He shook his head in frustration, and awkwardly twisted his hands together. For someone so good at the girly talking stuff, he certainly was sucking. "I just can't believe this."

And suddenly, anger burned Hyde, from his feet on up. "Damn it!" he cussed loudly, pounding his hand on the wall. "I should never have gotten back together with her! I wouldn't have to worry about this…this shit if I hadn't…gotten…" His shoulders slumped, and he let go of the wall. His hand caught his shaking head by the forehead.

Eric cleared his throat. "You really mean that?" he asked. After all, it seemed to Eric that Hyde, somewhere along the line, for all his big talk about never feeling anything, had gone and fallen in love with Jackie.

Hyde lifted his head and stared at the wall. Life without Jackie. Yeah, he'd done that before. Stress-free, nag-free, hassle-free. Very free. He'd always enjoyed freedom.

Then again, he'd never really MISSED it when he was with Jackie.

Jackie.

_"I'm really in love with you, Steven. You don't have to say it back." _

_"Oh, come on, Puddin' Pop." _

_"I want you to go with me." _

So many things she'd said to him, so many smiles she'd given him, so many kisses she'd offered him flashed through his mind in the matter of a few seconds.

He slowly turned around and looked Forman straight in the eye. "No." He surprised himself. He sounded like there wasn't any other possible answer. Was there?

Huh.

Maybe freedom was overrated.

God, did he really think that? Had she really made him think that? And actually believe it?

"Hey, guys, if we're going, let's go already!" Kelso hollered as he and Fez trampled into the small room.

Fez nodded with a slight pout. "Yes. I am bored. And if we don't get there soon, all the blue, ten pound balls will be gone." His expression darkened. "If that happens, I am not sharing my candy with you."

Eric glanced at Hyde. "Actually, guys, I think maybe…"

"Forman, you heard the man," Hyde interrupted. "Let's go. Wouldn't want to deny Fez the opportunity to play with blue balls." He forced a grin.

Eric looked at him in confusion. "But I thought you didn't want to…"

"Hey, beer," Hyde said, hoping Forman would shut up. "When have I ever not wanted beer?"

Eric understood. Hyde was done. And he knew better than to push it, especially with Fez and Kelso around. He smiled weakly. "And Kelso bowling drunk is just too entertaining to pass up."

"And don't forget the Smarties," Fez injected.

Hyde rolled his eyes. "Of course. Smarties."

The guys left Hyde's room, Kelso and Fez joking around, Eric and Hyde both much more subdued, both of them thinking about Jackie.

And both of them thinking of another hypothetical question.

What if she died?


	10. He's Going to Leave Me

**Disclaimer: **Alas, I don't own.

**Warning: **Mild language, although less of itthan when the boys are in the chapter. :shaking head:

**AN:** A bit short, but I decided to split this part from the next section. Better flow, I think. Thanks so much for all the reviews and support!You guys rock!Hope you keep enjoying the story!

**Convincing **

Chapter 10 - He's Going to Leave Me

Donna sat on the couch in Jackie and Fez's apartment, staring alternately between the coffee table in front of her and the eerily quiet Jackie next to her. She wasn't sure what to say, or even what to think or feel. She felt numb. Jackie had just told her about her aneurysm and that she had to have surgery on Friday. Three days from now. And Donna didn't know what to do. What do you do in a situation like this? She'd already mumbled a few dozen "oh my gods".

She looked at Jackie again and frowned. In their entire friendship, Donna had never seen her like this. Her face was bare of make up and blotchy from crying, her hair was pulled into a sloppy bun, she wore a pair of rumpled sweat pants, a t-shirt and a long sleeved shirt, one of Hyde's, obviously, since it was so big on her. What was more disturbing was that Jackie didn't appear to care. She sighed closed her eyes, taking a deep breath and trying to figure out what the hell to say.

"Do you think I'll be okay, Donna?"

The quiver in Jackie's voice startled Donna, and she had to force herself to react. "Oh yeah, of course I do," she lied. She looked at Jackie, and Jackie gazed back at her with wide eyes. "I mean, Jackie, doctors are trained to do surgeries like this. They study for, like, ever. They know what they're doing." She paused, hoping that this crap she was pulling off the top of her head was comforting Jackie at least a little bit. "They know how to fix it, and that's what they're going to do."

Jackie smiled weakly and pulled Steven's shirt tighter around her. She recognized the tight, false smile on Donna's face. She always got that sickly look when she was lying. "Okay. Now tell me if you _really_ think all that."

Donna chuckled and reached over to put her hand over Jackie's. "Honestly, I don't know, Jackie." She smiled sadly. "I wish I did." God. This was her best friend. A sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach began to open up. Eric's bad feeling had been right. Damn him for being right! He was never right! Why did he have to be right this time?

Jackie nodded and leaned her head back against the couch cushions. "Well, at least you could lie and tell me I'll be okay," she said dully. She stared at the ceiling, and tears filled her eyes again. Of course she wasn't done crying. At this point, she'd never be done crying. "Steven couldn't do that."

Couldn't just say a few words, just to make her feel better. Couldn't make the effort. Couldn't just tell one damn little lie just to take care of her.

Donna sighed and squeezed her friend's hand. "Jackie, that's just Hyde." She rolled her eyes. "He's never learned…what do you call it? Relationship courtesy?"

"He just doesn't care!"

Donna looked at her, and knew that this was not just one of Jackie's shallow little hissy fits. The tone of her voice, raw, ragged, desperately scared, was unlike anything Donna had ever heard from Jackie. "What?"

Jackie lifted her head and looked at Donna. Tears streamed down her cheeks, but she didn't give a damn about them, or how she looked. The aching emptiness in her heart was the only thing she could even think of. "I just…I don't think he cares. He…I just wanted him to tell me that I was going to be okay…"

Donna turned sideways on the couch to face her friend, and she took both of Jackie's hands in hers. "Jackie, I know he's not good at…well, talking, but he cares about you." She shook her head. "Hell, he cried when you were in that accident. He CRIED. I think he cares."

Jackie's stomach lit with hope, but it immediately faded. "Then why couldn't he lie to me?"

Donna shrugged. Who the hell knew why Hyde did any of the things he did? Jackie usually had a pretty good read on him, oddly enough, but apparently, she had no clue in this instance. "Maybe…maybe he's just worried or something and doesn't want to…" She raised her hands questioningly. "I don't know, maybe he's just scared."

Jackie stared at Donna. "You think he's scared?" she whispered brokenly.

For a moment, Donna couldn't respond. The look in Jackie's eyes, and the tone of her voice, almost sweetly childlike, stunned her. Hyde wasn't just another boyfriend to Jackie, and Donna wasn't sure if she'd ever realized that before. She'd known that Jackie loved him and even wanted to marry him, but this was different. More intense than she'd ever thought. Jackie was dependent on him, she needed him. And yeah, she loved him, but it was clearly a kind of love she'd never known before. Weird. It reminded her of the way Hyde had watched Jackie skate. And the way he'd sneaked into Jackie's hospital room and stayed all night. The way he'd cried. A small smile crossed her lips. She'd never, ever understand the wherefores or whys of this relationship, but it worked. "Yeah, I do."

Jackie smiled wistfully, then turned to stare at the television set. It was on, but she didn't see anything, and the weak smile that held her lips collapsed. Her body trembled unsteadily, cold with fear that seemed endless. "I'm scared," she mumbled. She felt odd, hollow. Removed from her body. "I don't…I don't want to die."

Donna put her hand on Jackie's back and patted her gently. Damn. She couldn't think of anything to say. She couldn't really fathom what Jackie was feeling. Death was just so…it wasn't supposed to be something they were thinking about.

Jackie stood up and walked around the coffee table. She began to pace in front of it, breathing deep, trying to get rid of the beginning of a headache. Her temple was beginning to throb. She wanted Steven. He'd found way to rub her temple with his fingers that usually helped mute the pain.

Steven.

_He's going to leave me. _

Her heart caught in her chest, and she stopped moving. She looked at Donna. "He's going to leave me, Donna."

Donna frowned. "What? Jackie…"

"He is! And who could blame him?" Jackie began to cry silent tears that streaked down her cheeks as fast as her heart was suddenly beating. "They have to shave my head. I'm going to be bald. BALD, Donna!"

"Jackie…"

"And after the surgery, I have to be in the hospital for at least two weeks…maybe more…and there are all these things that could happen…" She started pacing again, wildly, her emotions spilling over and coloring her words with hysteria. "He doesn't want to deal with all that. **I** don't want to deal with all that! How can I expect _him_ to?" She shook her head, and her hand covered her mouth. Her eyes closed, and she sobbed.

Donna stood up. "He's not going to leave you," she insisted. "But if he does, which he WON'T, I'll just push him off the water tower again. And this time I'll make it count." She smiled slightly, hoping that maybe she could relax her best friend, if only for the briefest of moments. It worked, because Jackie lifted her head and smiled at her, even if the smile was weak. Donna sighed and walked over to her best friend. "Don't worry about that, okay?"

Donna hugged her, and Jackie closed her eyes. Sure. It was easy for Donna to say. Don't worry about that. He won't leave, Jackie. It wasn't HER boyfriend. It wasn't HER life. It wasn't HER head that was going to be shaved and cut open.

And it wasn't Donna's gut feeling, Donna's intuition that was screaming constantly that there was no way in hell Steven would stick around for this. Especially if she kept acting like she had earlier, with the crying and the neediness and the demands that he comfort her. Steven didn't like to have things demanded of him, and of course, she had.

With the suddenness of an unexpected lightning bolt, Jackie realized that there was a way she could make him stay with her. Or at least not give him a reason to leave her. She pulled away from Donna and wiped away her tears, taking a shaky breath. "You know what? I'm not going to let him leave." She summoned her pride, shook her hair off her shoulders and stalked back to the couch, where she plopped down.

Donna smiled as Jackie crossed her arms over her chest and got that determined, stubborn look on her face. This was the old Jackie. "Oh really? And how are you going to do that? Handcuff him to you?"

Jackie raised an eyebrow. "That's not a bad idea. And Fez has handcuffs, you know." She made a face. "I don't ask why…don't think I want to know." She sighed. "No, what I'm gonna do is this. I'm not going to act scared or upset or worried or anything around Steven. I'm just gonna be my normal, beautiful, wonderful, carefree self. That way, he won't feel like he has to comfort me, and he won't feel pressured and want to leave."

Donna frowned. "So you're going to just pretend nothing is wrong?"

Jackie nodded emphatically, even though inside, she felt herself tearing inside. "Exactly."

"Hyde's not going to buy that," Donna said, moving back to the couch and sitting down next to Jackie.

"Yes, he will," Jackie retorted. "Because he wants to. See, I'll actually be doing him a favor, and he'll love me even more for it!" She tried to keep her resolve up, to start putting her plan into action, to practice being stoic. It didn't work, and she looked down as more tears began to fall. She twisted her hands together. "I just…I have to do this. I have to do whatever it takes…because I can't…" She looked at Donna. "I can't lose him again, Donna. I can't go through that again. I…" She closed her eyes. "I love him too much."

Donna was quiet as Jackie dropped her forehead to her hand. It was so unusual to see Jackie this vulnerable. Sure, Donna had seen her cry. Often. But this was different. Heavier. Much more honest. Usually Jackie did her best to hide what was really going on. "Jackie, why don't you just tell Hyde what you just told me?" she suggested quietly.

Jackie looked at her, horrified. "What? No!" Donna gave her a weird look, and she sighed. Her voice softened. "Look, the last time I put my heart on the line for him, it didn't work out so well. If I tell him…he'll think I'm pushing for a commitment and…" She leaned her head back on the couch, and again stared at the ceiling. "I just can't risk it."

Donna sighed. She'd never be able to talk Jackie out of this. And so, she rested her head on the couch cushions and gazed at Jackie. Her friend's face crumpled into tears, and Donna quickly took her hand. But Jackie didn't look over at her. She just stared at the ceiling, crying softly, straining to keep herself from losing all control of the fear she obviously felt.

And to Donna's surprise, tears filled her eyes. Before she knew it, before she could fight to stop it, she turned her eyes up to the ceiling and started to cry.

Her best friend might die. And there was nothing she could do. Nothing anyone could do. They just had to deal with it.

She just wish she knew how to.


	11. I'm Fine With It

**Disclaimer: **I don't own.

**Warning: **Mild language

**AN: **I'm sorry I haven't updated in awhile! Work has been crazy, and I've been so tired. But I finally finished a chapter, so here it is. Thought we could use some Jackie/Hyde cuteness. Thanks to everyone who is reading this, and thanks especially for the reviews! I love them. Love your opinions on the story. Enjoy!

**Convincing **

Chapter 11 - I'm Fine With It

_"Christina Fellows, come on down. You're the next contestant on the Price is Right!" _

Hyde sat on his chair and stared at the television set. It was 10:00 on a Wednesday morning. He should be at work. But he really didn't care. In fact, it was better that he wasn't there. He was in no mood for company. He was in no mood for The Price Is Right, either, but couldn't be bothered to get up and change the channel. That would require effort. He was sick do death of effort. Effort never got him a damn thing.

He glanced over at the phone. He'd expected her to call, even though he'd decided not to talk to her for awhile. She deserved it after that crap she'd said to him yesterday. But she hadn't called. Not once.

And to his utter disgust, his stomach wouldn't release the knots they'd been tied in since he left her last night. It was worse even than the feeling he used to get before he shoplifted stuff; worse than he'd felt the moment Kelso had walked into Jackie's hotel room in nothing but a towel.

The basement door opened, and when Jackie walked in, Hyde's heart seemed to disappear momentarily, only to return beating faster and faster. Just like it had during their first kiss. Felt nothing. Like hell he'd felt nothing. He'd felt EVERYTHING. He swallowed and crossed his arms over his chest, gave her a brief glance…god, she looked beautiful…then looked back at the television.

Jackie did her best to appear confident and unworried as she smiled brightly at her boyfriend, but it wasn't easy. He had his legs crossed, his arms crossed; his ultimate defensive position, and his glasses were on. He wasn't looking at her, trying to hide, but she knew he was upset. Ands he couldn't blame him. "Hey," she said, forcing lightness into her voice that wasn't naturally there.

"Hey." His mutter was dull.

She walked over to his chair and stood by the arm of the couch. She started to sit down on it, then changed her mind and moved closer to him. She put her hand on his knee and stared at him.

Hyde reluctantly looked up at her. Jackie raised her eyebrows, quickly lowered her eyes to his lap then raised them back to his. She wanted to sit in his lap. And hell if he didn't want to let her, even though he shouldn't. With a purposefully put-upon sounding sigh, he uncrossed his legs and arms. She sat down and settled in, still looking at him, curving one hand around his neck. A slight tremor pulsed his spine when her fingertips dipped into the hair at the back of his neck. That irritated him, and so he glared up at her. Damn, he wished he'd put his glasses on before letting her on him.

He expected her to say something, but she surprised him by kissing him. Softly. Sweetly. And god, so temptingly. He tried to resist, to not immediately move his lips with hers and taste her until the world ended. But she made it difficult. Impossible, actually. She breathed softly through her lips and followed it with a quick flicker of her tongue. He felt both chilled and heated at the same time, all over his body, and he responded. His eyes closed, his hands greedily grabbed her back, his lips hungrily answered hers.

She pulled away long before he was ready for her to, and he frowned.

Jackie giggled and lightly scratched the back of his neck. "Sorry, but I have something to say."

Hyde rolled his eyes, but smiled slightly. His mood had improved infinitely from just two minutes ago. Because he'd just had her tongue in his mouth, of course. And the fact that he could see for himself that she was alive and well and could stop worrying. No. Only because of the tongue thing. Right. "That figures." He winced when she dug her nails in his neck. "Hey!"

Jackie smiled innocently and withdrew her nails. She rubbed gently where she'd stabbed. "You should know better!" He sighed, and her smile faded. "Look, Steven," she began quietly. "I just…" She took a shuddering breath. "I'm sorry about what I said before. About…Vegas. And the other stuff." She chewed lightly on her lower lip.

Hyde shrugged. "Yeah, well, I'm over it." Her face tensed, and he knew exactly what she was thinking. The corners of his lips turned upwards. "No, no, not like that."

She sighed and swallowed, relieved. And then she smiled. "Well, you shouldn't be surprised that I said something like that. After all…" She lifted her shoulders and cocked her head. "I've always admitted this…I'm a bitch."

He grinned, he couldn't help it. She was so damn cute. "I'd agree, but I feel like keeping the skin on the back of my neck," he teased. She laughed, and he chuckled. He really liked her laugh. Her eyes got all shiny and bright, and they hadn't been that way much lately.

"Shut up!" she said, still giggling, and she lightly swatted the back of his head. But as she looked into his eyes, she remembered what she wanted to tell him, and her laughter faded. "Okay, Steven, look. There's something else I want to say to you." She took a breath. "I know I've been acting like a baby about this surgery, and I just want you to know that I'm not going to anymore." She nodded curtly, even as the mere thought of the surgery sent her stomach plummeting into hell. She noticed that Steven was raising his eyebrows like he was suspicious, and she made her voice especially bright. "That's right. I'm not going to cry or whine or anything. I'm fine with it."

Hyde frowned. She was lying. And not well. "Jackie, you haven't been…"

"No, Steven, I have. I've been being a big, sniveling baby, and I'm not going to be anymore. So you don't have to worry about me, okay? And I promise that I won't make you try to make me feel better or comfort me or anything." She laughed, and even in her own head, it sounded phony. "Not that I'll need it. Because I'm fine. Not scared at all."

He swallowed hard. She wasn't fine. She wasn't not scared. And he knew why she was saying this crap. Because he couldn't give her what she needed. Because he couldn't comfort her in the way she wanted, and she didn't want him to even bother to try. "So…" Damn, his voice cracked. His stomach tightened and he tried to find that familiar steel, that Zen he'd perfected. "So…what? You're going to just pretend everything is okay?"

Jackie cupped his cheeks. "I don't have to pretend, Steven," she said haughtily, keeping her act up. "Everything IS okay." He closed his eyes and looked away, and she turned his face back to her. "And you need to stop worrying, Puddin' Pop, because it's gonna be fine. I'm gonna be fine. Okay?"

Hyde was about to retort, but she kissed him, and he liked her kissing him. He liked kissing her. And so he responded to her. Mmmmm, she tasted so good. So sweet. Soft. Warm. How could he stop kissing her? Damn, that was her tongue grazing the bottom of his upper teeth. And then darting up to tease the roof of his mouth. She was talented. No way was he going to stop her.

Besides, what could he say?

God. Yeah, she wanted him now, even thought she knew though she knew he couldn't give her what she really needed. But someday that could change. She could decide that she just couldn't deal with that anymore.

_It won't happen if she dies. _

She picked that moment to break the kiss, and he looked up at her. Her eyes met his, and he could see her. The real her. The fear. She was scared to death. "Look, I just…" His words broke off when she slipped her arms around his chest and buried her head against his neck. He felt her shudder slightly against him, and tightened his arms around her waist. He turned his face towards her and his lips brushed against her ear. "Jackie," he whispered. His lips pursed and kissed the slender lobe.

He wanted to tell her that she didn't have to pretend to be okay. That she didn't have to pretend to not be scared. That he'd try harder to be comforting. But he couldn't. Because he'd only fail and make things worse.

She drew back and sighed with a slight smile. "So no more crying. Or anything like it. I'll be back to my wonderful, normal, beautiful self. Okay?"

Hyde smiled faintly at her tone. So cocky. So her. Such a cover up. But…if this was what she wanted…. He sighed in resignation. "Okay."

Jackie brushed her lips over his, relieved that the conversation was over. She decided to flirt. Making out would be good right about now. She slid off his lap and walked over to the couch. Tossing her hair over her shoulder, she sat down, bringing her right leg up to the cushions. Her left foot stayed on the ground, leaving what she hoped was a very inviting and tempting space for him in between the two. She gave him her best sexy smile and crooked her finger at him. "Come here."

This time, Hyde's smirk was real, and he slowly stood up. God, he loved it when she gave him that look. _Come and get me, Steven. Come and get me GOOD. _He licked his lips and he took the few steps over to her and gently lay down on top of her. "Here I am," he said, his voice low and husky.

She giggled and pulled on his neck, drawing his lips closer to hers. His breath was hot on her chin, and it made her shiver in delight. Yes. This would make her feel better. Even just for the moment. It would make her feel better. "What, don't you know what to do?" she purred.

He chuckled, then dropped his lips to hers and kissed her mercilessly. He was just about to slip his hand under the hem of her shirt when the door to the basement opened.

"Oh god….sorry."

Hyde stopped kissing Jackie and opened his eyes to find her looking just as annoyed as he felt. "Damn it, Forman," he muttered as he rolled off of Jackie and stood up. He glared angrily. "You have the absolute worst timing, you know?"

Surprisingly, neither Donna nor Forman responded. They both stared at Jackie, who was standing as well and fussing with her shirt. And then Eric lurched towards her.

Jackie was stunned when he pulled her into a hug, but by instinct her arms wrapped around him in return. "Uh….Eric?" She looked over his shoulder at Steven, whose expression told her he was just as confused as she was.

"I'm sorry, Jackie. For everything. Every time I've ever said something rude, or anti-unicorn…I'm just sorry."

Jackie pulled out of the hug and stared up at Eric. He looked solemn. And his voice was soft. Serious. Sincere. And it was so weird. It was like he…it was like he knew.

"I really am, Jackie."

She pushed him away and glared accusingly at Donna. "Did you tell him, Donna?"

Donna raised her eyebrows. "Well, yeah," she said. "But in my defense, when I told him, he already knew." She looked pointedly at Hyde.

Hyde rolled his eyes and looked away. Somehow he'd burn Donna good in return for THIS favor.

Jackie looked at her boyfriend. "Steven? Did you tell Eric?" She wasn't sure if she should be upset or not; after all, she'd never told him NOT to tell anyone. And maybe he'd told Eric because he was so upset about it that he just couldn't handle it.

Right. More likely, he was complaining to Eric about how babyish she was being.

She sighed and repeated herself when he didn't answer. "Steven?"

Hyde shrugged. "Forman beat it out of me." He grinned, hoping a smart aleck remark would help him avoid trouble.

Jackie couldn't help but smile at that. The idea of skinny little Eric beating Steven up was too ludicrous not to smile at.

Eric rolled his eyes and put his hands on Jackie's shoulders. For some reason, the news of her…was it an illness? He supposed so. The news of her illness had him shaken. It was too adult for their group's world; he wasn't prepared. And he didn't think any of them were. "Okay, look, the point is that I want to be here for you, Jackie. I'm hoping that 'being there' involves a lot of roller disco…" He glared at Donna and then at Hyde when the both groaned, then looked back at Jackie. "But seriously. I want to be there. Here. Where ever you need."

Jackie looked into Eric's eyes, and she saw real care and concern. Worry. And for a moment, the ache in her heart, the fear, the agony she was doing her best to stifle, surrounded her. Tears began to bitterly tingle in her eyes, and her parted lip trembled slightly. He wanted to comfort her, and oh, how she wanted to be comforted. It wouldn't be the same as if Steven would, but still.

"Look, Forman, she doesn't want to talk about it, okay?" Hyde snapped. Actually, it was more like HE didn't want to talk about it. Not in front of Donna and Forman. They both could read him, not as well as Jackie, but enough for him to know better than to tread down any emotional road right now.

Jackie's back stiffened at the harshness of Steven's voice, and her determination to pretend that everything was fine beat back that vulnerable need to be comforted. She backed away from Eric. "Look, you all need to stop worrying," she said, doing her best to sound sure of herself. "I'm fine. This is no big deal, anyway. I'm fine, and that's all there is to it!"

Eric glanced at Donna, confused. She'd told him that Jackie had been a wreck.

Donna shrugged and leaned closer to him to whisper in his ear. "I'll tell you later."

Jackie reached for Steven's hand and pulled him closer to her. "Okay. Come on. Lets go out. I'm hungry, so let's go to the Hub." She smiled flirtatiously at Steven. "I'll let you buy me a cheeseburger, Steven. And…" She raised her eyebrows. "I won't even complain if you play pinball all night."

Hyde smiled lightly at the expression on her picture perfect face; as if she were really making a sacrifice for him. "Boy, it must be my lucky day," he commented dryly. He squeezed her hand, and her lips broke out into the smile that could turn his heart over a thousand times in just one minute second.

And when she smiled, he was fine with it. More than fine with it. He'd worry about her behavior later. Right now he could just use a night of her smiling.


	12. A Balloon in Her Head?

**Disclaimer: **Don't own!

**Warning:** Mild language

**AN: **Happy Valentine's Day! I personally hate it, but that's another story. :) Thanks so much for the reviews...you guys are so great and I'm hoping that I never disappoint! Enjoy the chapter!

**Convincing **

Chapter 12 - A Balloon in Her Head?

_Later that evening, the Forman basement _

Donna sat on the couch cuddled in her boyfriend's warm arm, watching Jackie fuss over Fez's appearance. He was taking his new girlfriend out on a romantic date and wanted to look perfect, because he was hoping to, as he'd mentioned repeatedly, do it with her tonight. Naturally, he'd turned to Jackie for her advice, which she was cheerfully, overly so, Donna thought, giving. Now she was grooming him, smoothing down his jacket, and chirping on and on about what he needed to do to make the evening amazing for his woman.

Like nothing was wrong. Like she felt fine, even though Donna knew for a fact that her head was killing her. At the Hub, just before they'd returned to the basement, Jackie had gone into the bathroom without even pestering Donna to accompany her. And when Donna had followed a few minutes later, mostly because she knew if she didn't she'd catch hell for it later, she'd found Jackie standing at the sink, her right temple cupped in her hand, and a twisted wince on her face. Donna glanced at Hyde's chair, and noticed that he kept glancing away from the television and at Jackie. She sighed. Jackie was keeping to her plan so far, just as peppy and perky as ever, but Donna feared there would be not so great consequences. For everyone. And she could tell that Hyde wasn't exactly enjoying Jackie's performance, even though he, too, seemed to be putting up a front.

"Okay, Fez, you're all set. Just remember, don't mention candy or your V-8 Hot Oil habit." Jackie patted his chest and then walked back to Steven. He didn't look at her, but let her sit down in his lap, and his arms immediately encircled her. She smiled faintly. Her head was aching to the point of bringing tears to her eyes, but she was determined. And it was easier now with his arms around her.

Kelso sat nearby on the lawn chair, and he looked up from the toy he was playing with. "And make sure you don't hum this time, Fez."

Fez glared at Kelso. "Shut up, you son of a bitch. I've learned my lesson. I've done it TONS of times since then and I know exactly what I'm doing." His expression faded, and he looked nervous. "I just have one question. What happens if she wants me to put my…"

Hyde shook his head irritably. "Fez, you finish that question, I'm going to kick your ass from here to Canada." He heard a small, obviously stifled whimper from his girlfriend, and he looked up at her. Her eyes were closed and her fingers rubbed her temple. It only made his mood worse. "Damn it, Jackie, go take your medicine already."

Jackie's back stiffened, and she pulled away from him. She glared and swatted forcefully at his shoulder. "Steven!"

Hyde returned the glare. Too bad for her. He was sick of this stupid act and wasn't going to keep on playing her game. "Come on, Jackie, you can't tell me that your head isn't killing you right now. You're not that good an actress." He shook his head. "In fact, you suck."

Jackie scrambled off his lap and stood next to his chair. "Steven!" she yelped. What in the HELL was he trying to do? She felt her face flushing. Was he trying to embarrass her? And if so, why?

Kelso stood up and looked suspiciously between Hyde and Jackie. "Okay, what in the hell is going on? You're grumpy as all hell, even for you." He pointed at Hyde. "And you're always rubbing your forehead." His eyes focused on Jackie. "And the two of you keep staring at those two like they're about to die or something!" His final accusation was directed towards Eric and Donna.

Fez crossed his arms over his chest and pouted. "Yes. It is like the four of you have some sort of secret." He huffed. "I thought we were friends. Friends share! I share everything with you people! My candy, my sexual conquests…"

Hyde rolled his eyes. "Yeah, well, we could use a lot less sharing from you, Fez," he spat.

Kelso crossed his arms over his chest and glared at Hyde. "See, that's exactly what I'm talking about! You're just MEAN! Now what is going on?"

Jackie sighed. Might as well say something. Maybe not the entire truth. Just something to get Michael to shut up. "Okay, fine," she said impatiently. She moved to stand behind Steven and put her hands on his shoulders. "Steven is just worried about me because I have to go into the hospital on Friday for some MINOR surgery."

Donna frowned. Hell, she was sick of this too. "Minor? Jackie, brain surgery isn't exactly minor!"

Fez and Kelso stared at Jackie, both pairs of eyes wide with shock, and Jackie gave Donna an evil look. Damn! What was going on? Both Steven and Donna were stabbing her in the back! She looked at Steven, who was looking over his shoulder with a smug smirk, like he knew she was trapped, and her chest deflated. Now she really had no choice. She opened her mouth, but nothing came out. Her throat was so tight.

"She's got an aneurysm on her brain. Like a thin, bulging balloon type thing. They have to repair it, so she has to have surgery." Hyde stared at the table as he spoke dully and resignedly. Jackie didn't want to admit what was going on, but hell. Kelso and Fez were their friends. And they'd figure out that something was up when Jackie disappeared for at a minimum two weeks. Might as well get it out there.

Kelso started chuckling. "Jackie's got a balloon in her head? God, no wonder she's with you and not me, Hyde! All that hot air in there is clouding her judgment!"

Hyde stood up, his face twisting furiously. "Would you shut the hell up, Kelso? This isn't a joke!" He had half a mind to smash his fist in Kelso's face. Just a few more words from the moron and he would. Gladly.

Jackie sighed and moved from behind Steven to the arm of the couch. She sat down. "But it's not that serious, either," she lied. Her stomach tightened. "I mean, yeah, it's major enough to require you all to buy me tons of presents, but not MAJOR major." She was startled by the nasty look Steven gave her, and jumped slightly when he kicked over his chair and stormed out of the basement, stomping up the stairs in a way that left no doubt that he was mad.

At her.

She closed her eyes and rubbed her temple. The pain was getting worse, a gross combination of a knife stabbing at her and a bullet ripping through her.

"Wait, so Jackie, are you…are you going to be okay?"

She opened her eyes and looked up. Michael was standing in front of her now, looking down at her and obviously worried. She smiled wearily and stood up. "I'm going to be fine, Michael. Steven is just…he's overreacting. So let's not talk about it anymore, okay?"

Kelso sighed and pulled Jackie into a hug. "Okay, sweet pea. But if you need anything, you know where to come. Old faithful. I'll always be here for you, okay? Cause you know I'm good at that stuff. And Hyde isn't."

Jackie hugged him back, and it felt so good, but not as good as she'd expected it too. Because it wasn't Steven's arms around her. And it wasn't Steven's voice or words trying to soothe her. It just wasn't right.

But it was better than nothing. And it was better than making demands on Steven that would only make him want to leave her for good.

Donna and Eric exchanged glances. And both of them thought the same thing; that considering Hyde's mood, it was a good thing he missed what just happened.

_Half an hour later _

Jackie stood by the record player, idly looking through the records. Attention had turned off of her and onto the television, although she wasn't quite sure what the others were watching. Must be a comedy, because they were laughing. But she didn't care. And for probably the first time in her entire life, she was glad that she wasn't the center of attention. Steven hadn't come back down, and she was too frightened to go upstairs and find him. And so she stared at the back of Eric's Styx album, her eyes blindly skimming over the words.

"Hey."

Steven's voice startled her, and she jumped.

Hyde smiled slightly. "Sorry. I shouldn't sneak up on you. I know how engrossing a Styx album can be."

She giggled and pushed the album cover away. She turned towards him and stared hopefully up at him. He seemed calmer, his glasses were off, and his face was relaxed. That had to be good. "So…"

"Your head feeling better?" Hyde interrupted. He glanced to his right and found Kelso sitting on the couch and looking over his shoulder at them. He narrowed his eyes threateningly, and Kelso quickly turned around.

"Yeah, I took a pill," Jackie answered. She took a step closer to him, slightly hesitantly, but when he put his hands on her shoulders she smiled.

Hyde sighed. Those two beers he'd had upstairs had calmed him down. He was still pissed as hell at how Jackie was acting, but decided he better go back downstairs before Don Juan El Tardo decided to take comforting to an unacceptable level. "Look, I'm sorry I just blurted it out."

"No, its okay," she said. She shrugged. "They were bound to find out anyway."

She took another step closer and gingerly put her hands on his waist. Her eyes fluttered closed as his lips softly touched hers. She sighed as the kiss deepened. God, she loved how he kissed her. Strong, so masculine, but tenderly and lovingly. He almost painted her lips with his, and it felt so good.

"Hey, what are you guys talking about?"

Hyde broke the kiss and looked angrily at Kelso, who was standing next to him and Jackie with that damn, goofy, I-just-love-interfering smile on his face. "We weren't talking, you moron," he snapped.

Kelso nodded. "I know. That's why I came over here."

Hyde tightened his jaw and pushed Kelso away, causing the clumsy fool to stumble backwards to the couch. He shook his head and looked back at Jackie. "Anyway, Jackie, WB called and he wants me to come to Milwaukee tomorrow. Some meeting about the store." He reached up and brushed a piece of her hair off her face. "I'll probably be gone most of the day. You gonna be okay?"

Jackie was about to speak when she felt herself being pulled away from Steven. She rolled her eyes as Michael's arm circled her shoulders.

"Don't you worry, Hyde," he said. "I'll keep an eye out on her." He looked down at Jackie and winked. But his pleased expression quickly turned to one of pain when Hyde punched his shoulder. "Damn, Hyde! That's too hard!" He let go of Jackie and glared at Hyde, rubbing his arm.

Jackie shook her head. "I'll be fine, Steven. I'll just go shopping."

"I'll go shopping with you," Kelso said eagerly.

Hyde shook his head and leveled a stare at Kelso. Damn, he'd thought this was all over. But apparently not. Kelso STILL wasn't about to give up. And it STILL pissed Hyde off. "No, no you won't."

Jackie shrugged. "But Donna can't go with me tomorrow, Steven, and I probably shouldn't go alone." She looked at Michael and smiled. Shopping with Michael was always fun. And she didn't see what it would hurt. Michael was long over her, and Steven knew how much she loved him and only him. "You can help me pick out a robe for the hospital. Those…things they give you there just won't cut it."

Kelso smiled triumphantly. "I would LOVE to help you pick out a robe, Jackie."

Hyde crossed his arms over his chest. There was no way in hell that Kelso was going to go robe shopping with Jackie alone. Unless…. "Bring Fez with you."

Jackie stared at Steven, and she could see that look in his eyes. That same look he'd gotten when he told her she couldn't keep the sweater Michael had given her. The same look he'd gotten when he told her he didn't want her to be alone with Michael. And so she knew she'd better indulge him. "Well, that's a good idea. Fez has great taste in clothes." She stepped to Steven and put her hand on his chest, turning a sweet smile up to him. "It'll be a girls' day out."

Kelso frowned. "Hey! I'm not a girl!"

"Yeah you are. You volunteered to go shopping," Hyde retorted. He grinned at Jackie. He felt a little better now. Besides, Fez had a big mouth. He'd blab if Kelso tried anything with Jackie. And then he'd have an excuse to beat the crap out of Kelso.

Kelso glared. "Whatever!" He turned and stomped off.

Twenty minutes later, Donna, Forman and Jackie had gone upstairs to bake cookies or something, and Hyde was left alone in the basement with Kelso. Kelso was surprisingly quiet, and that bugged Hyde. He sat on his chair and repeatedly glanced at the guy, wondering if he was plotting some way to seduce Jackie. _Nah, he's not that smart. Besides, look at him. He's staring at the tv and sucking on a lollipop. He's like a damn kid. _

Still. This situation warranted a warning.

"Kelso, you try anything with Jackie tomorrow, I'll kill you."

Kelso looked over at Hyde innocently. "God, Hyde, you're so paranoid! We're just gonna go shopping!"

Hyde rolled his eyes. "Right." He paused. What would happen if Jackie got one of her headaches? She was always so damn reluctant to take one of her pills in spite of the fact that they helped her. "Look, man, if Jackie gets a headache tomorrow, make sure she takes one of her pills. And don't let her say she doesn't need to."

Kelso looked confused. "Why would she get a headache?"

"Because of her aneurysm, idiot!"

Kelso scoffed. "Come on. It's a balloon, right? A balloon can't hurt!"

Hyde couldn't believe how dumb this guy was. And he couldn't believe that he counted this idiot as one of his best friends. "Just do it, okay?" He shook his head in disgust and stared at the television again.

Kelso, in turn, stared at Hyde. And he realized something, possibly for the first time ever. "You…you really care about her, don't you?"

Hyde looked at him and raised an eyebrow. "You try anything with her and I'll kick your ass."

He hoped that Kelso would finally get the picture, because he meant that threat. And this time, he wouldn't stop at just one punch.


	13. What the Hell?

**Disclaimer:** I don't own!

**Warning: **Mild language

**AN: **I'm really sorry that I haven't updated. I've been extremely frustrated and upset, and writing this was the last thing I wanted to do. :( I think I'm past that now, though, so hopefully I'll get back on track with it! Thanks so much for the reviews! They boggle my mind, they're so sweet. :) Now, don't kill me for this chapter. I like happy endings. Remember that.

**Convincing **

Chapter 13 - What the Hell?

_The next afternoon _

Hyde parked his car in back of the Hub and quickly got out. He was starving. Hadn't had breakfast before leaving for Milwaukee, and the meeting with WB had been a long and dull one. He'd barely managed to stay awake. Afterwards, WB offered to take him to lunch with a few corporate stooges, and normally Hyde would have said yes despite the stooges. Hell, a free lunch is a free lunch. This time he'd said no. That he needed to get back to Point Place. He didn't mention that it was because he was worried about Jackie.

But it was. The longer Kelso was with Jackie, even if Fez was with them, the tighter Hyde's stomach became. And it wasn't only because he knew that Kelso would make a move. He also knew that Kelso didn't comprehend her condition at all. If she wasn't feeling well, Kelso probably wouldn't even notice, let alone know enough to convince her to rest.

He walked in, and immediately saw his girlfriend and Kelso sitting at the table in the middle of the joint. Fez was nowhere in sight. And that made the tightness in his stomach knot until it nearly completely destroyed his hunger. He stopped in his tracks and watched them. Jackie was laughing. Looked like she was perfectly fine. More than fine. Relaxed. Happy, even. That should in turn relax him, shouldn't it? Shouldn't he be glad that she was fine and in no pain?

But it didn't, and he wasn't. He swallowed hard in an attempt to get rid of the bitter taste of jealousy.

"Steven, what are you doing here?"

Hyde tried to grin when she looked at him with that smile and those bright eyes of hers. "Hey. Got back early." He glared at Kelso, who was smirking at him, and pulled out a chair next to Jackie to sit in. He leaned towards her and kissed her lips, slightly longer than he normally would in public.

Jackie was surprised, but she didn't complain when Steven put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her, chair and all, towards him. "Well, I'm glad." She put her hand on his thigh. "I missed you today."

Hyde stared at her. Sure she had. She'd looked so damn broken up when he walked in. "Where's Fez?"

"Oh, he left hours ago," Kelso chimed in. He smiled broadly. "So Jackie and I have just been hanging out." His eyebrows rose. "Alone."

Jackie rolled her eyes. "He didn't leave hours ago, Michael, he left forty-five minutes ago." She looked at Steven nervously. He looked tense, and she was afraid that he was upset. She struggled to look cheerful, like nothing was wrong; her head was really hurting and she was utterly exhausted. She wanted nothing more than to ask Steven to take her home so she could take a nap.

"I helped her try on robes, Hyde. Made sure they fit right. You should've been there."

Jackie again rolled her eyes and turned a quick, nasty glare to her ex. "Michael, shut up! You did not!" She turned back to Steven. "He did not."

Hyde was tempted to rearrange Kelso's face. The ass was so transparent it was sickening. And he didn't like how defensive Jackie was being. "So you done shopping, then?"

She started to speak, but Michael interrupted her.

"No. She didn't find a decent robe so we gotta go back." Kelso smiled triumphantly. "You know, I think why you didn't find one you liked was 'cause I wasn't helping you try them on. When we go back I will."

Hyde looked at him. "You do, and your chin meets your ass, Kelso." His eyes returned to Jackie. "You done or not?"

Jackie hesitated. On the one hand, there was one more store she wanted to go to, one that usually could be counted on for decent nightwear. But the way Steven was looking, maybe it wasn't so smart of her to say that. "Well, I mean, I can always just take my old robe to the hospital."

Hyde shrugged. Why fight? Let her go off with Kelso. Hell, probably bound to happen at some point, right? In the meantime, he could figure out some way to deal with it. Either by planning on when, where and how to kick Kelso's ass, or… "If you wanna go back to the mall, Jackie, go back," he said tightly. He took his arm off of her shoulders and scooted his chair slightly away from her.

And she noticed. She bit her lower lip. "Do you want to come?" She hoped he would. It had been okay when Fez was with them; he'd kept Michael distracted. But since he left, Michael had been coming on to her, and she was too tired to force him to back off. She tried, but she was damn tired, and getting more and more tired as the day wore on.

"Are you kidding? Jackie, I hate shopping," Hyde snapped. The look she gave him in reply made him sigh, and he backed down. "Sorry. Long day. Look, just go finish up and we'll hook up later." He stood up, and despite Kelso's presence, something tender burst out. He put his hand on the back of her upturned head and stroked lightly. "You feeling okay?"

She nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine," she lied. Considering his mood, it was better she didn't mention her headache. Or the fact that all she wanted was to lie in bed with him wrapped around her. No pressure, she reminded herself. No demands. And then he wouldn't leave.

Hyde could tell she was lying. She had that dull look in her eyes. He'd noticed it every time she had one of her headaches. Anger and bitterness began to stir in his gut, and he figured he better leave before he ended up yelling at someone, more than likely, her. "All right, I'll see you later." He caught Kelso's smirk out of the corner of his eye, and so he leaned down and kissed Jackie, pressing his lips against hers several times. She smiled at him when he finally pulled away, and he did his best to return it.

"You guys can french all you want, but I'm the one helping Jackie try on robes!"

Hyde began to walk away, stopping long enough to frog Kelso's shoulder, harder than usual. The half scream, half groan it produced made him grin. "Remember how that feels, Kelso." He shook his head and turned to head for the door.

Just before he opened it, he glanced back over his shoulder. Kelso was saying something and Jackie was laughing. His jaw tensed, and he left the Hub. He walked quickly towards the El Camino. So what if she was tense and defensive with him and then the moment he left laughed up a storm? So what? So what if Kelso seemed to make her feel better? What the hell did that matter? Better than him having to do it, right?

He slipped into his car and sat there, staring at the wheel, swallowing hard but failing to get rid of that disgusting taste in his mouth.

It mattered. It mattered a lot.

_Two hours later _

Eric frowned as he approached Jackie's car parked in the Hub's parking lot. He'd stopped at the Hub an hour earlier for some fries and had found Jackie, Kelso and Fez there. But Jackie left shortly after he arrived, or so he'd thought. He slowly walked towards the driver's side window, and saw that she had her head down on the steering wheel. Her shoulders were shaking like she was crying. For a moment, he thought about just pretending he hadn't seen it, but then remembered that she was sick. What if something was wrong and she needed help? He couldn't live with himself if he just ignored it and then something happened.

He tapped lightly on the window, and winced when she jumped. He was startled; tears were streaking down her normally perfectly made up face, her eyes were swollen. She looked like hell. And it made him feel surprisingly bad. She rolled the window down. "I uh…I'm sorry for scaring you," he said sheepishly. She just stared at him, and he watched more tears fall. "I just…I saw you with your head on the wheel…Jackie, are you okay?"

Jackie couldn't pull herself together. She just couldn't. She was too damn tired to. She was too damn tired to even want to. And so she cocked her head to the right, towards the passenger side of the car. "Get in," she creaked through the lump in her throat. He did, and she looked at him. All the feelings she'd been suppressing had all of a sudden caught her just as she was about to head over to see Steven. She'd found herself paralyzed in her car, until the tears came storming out of her. "I'm just so tired, Eric. I'm tired and my head hurts so much. I don't think I can drive and I just want to go home!"

Eric was taken aback. He'd only rarely seen Jackie this upset, and never to this degree. He shifted in the seat. What could he say? What should he do? What the hell did he know about comforting her? "Do you…I mean, do you want me to call Hyde?"

Her eyes widened. "NO!" she yelped. "NO!"

Eric furrowed his brow. "Why not?"

"Because then I'll have to pretend that everything is okay! But it's not okay, and I can't pretend anymore! I'm too exhausted! It's too hard! I just can't do it anymore! But I can't let Steven know that I'm…that I'm…" She gasped for air. "That I'm falling apart."

Eric watched silently as she put her head back on the steering wheel. Her entire body began to shake, and he was at a loss as to what to do. But it bothered him to see her this way. Especially knowing that she had something in her head that could kill her. He took a deep breath and slid over towards her. He put his arm around her and gently pulled her up from the wheel, and she turned eagerly to him for a hug. He held her, and for a few minutes just let her cry on his shoulder. "Jackie," he said finally, quietly, as her sobs began to slow somewhat. "Why are you pretending that everything is okay? God, no one is going to blame you if you're upset." He frowned. "Well, Kelso might, but that's just because he really doesn't get what's going on."

Jackie lifted her head from Eric's shoulder. It was bony, unlike Steven's, and she wondered how Donna could stand to put her head there. Still, she was grateful for him being there. "I just…" She shrugged and wiped frantically at her cheeks. She knew she must look horrific. But actually, she didn't care. At all. "I don't want Steven to feel like…I mean, I don't want him to feel pressured or anything, you know, to be nice to me or anything."

That surprised Eric. Normally, Jackie was all about pressure. It was how she operated. "But Jackie…"

"No, because if he feels too pressured, he'll leave me, Eric!" she blurted out, her voice laden with the intense fear she felt. "I know him! He doesn't do well with pressure! And I…I just…" Her voice choked and the tears began a steady freefall once again. "I can't lose him, Eric."

He stared at her, and was struck by the emotion in her. He'd noticed it before, but he'd never really appreciated it, or maybe he'd chosen to ignore it, but she really, truly loved Hyde. And it was deep. She looked frightened, just at the idea that Hyde might leave her. "Hey, Jackie, he's not going to leave you," he said firmly. And he knew Hyde wouldn't leave. He knew that Hyde cared, and was worried, and wanted to be there for her. "Look, Hyde's really worried about you, okay? And he's trying his best to be there for you…"

"I know, and he's been great," Jackie interjected. She took a deep breath and looked down at the car seat. "I just…I need him so much, Eric, and…" She shook her head and looked back up at him. "I can't risk it."

She turned to face forward in her seat and put her head back on his shoulder, and he rubbed hers. He sighed. He had no idea that Jackie and Hyde's relationship was so complicated. He'd always thought it was just some twisted, unholy lust that must have been pretty good when consummated or they wouldn't have been together for so long. "He's not going to leave you, Jackie," he repeated.

They sat quietly for a few minutes, both of them engrossed in their own thoughts.

"I might die, Eric," Jackie muttered, not quite sure why, maybe just to say it. She'd been thinking it ever since the diagnosis, but hadn't ever said it. Maybe she needed to. And she did feel a little pocket of relief in her heart. Tiny. "And Steven will forget me…everyone will forget me." She cleared her throat; it ached painfully from all the crying she'd done.

Eric smiled. "You're not going to die," he said, even though he had no clue if she would or not. "And even if you do, no one will forget you." He chuckled. "Uh…unforgettable is definitely a good word to describe you."

Jackie lifted her head and smiled at him. "Thank you, Eric."

Eric smiled back at her, but it quickly disappeared. "Look, Jackie, just go talk to Hyde. Tell him exactly what you've just told me."

She sighed and looked down at her lap. "The last time I opened my heart to him it didn't exactly work out well."

"This is different, Jackie." Eric wasn't sure what she was referring to, but his answer sounded good. And it was probably true. "I don't think Hyde likes that you're pretending everything is okay. I think he'd rather know what your feeling." She looked up at him, and he shrugged. "God only knows why, and believe me, I'm just as surprised as you are."

She giggled softly. "Well…maybe I will." She smiled at him. "Thank you, Eric. I mean…really. Thank you."

They hugged, and Eric smiled. "Sure thing."

The hug ended and she pushed him away. "Now get out of here. And you better not tell anyone you saw me looking this…" She glanced up into the rear view mirror. "This hideous."

Eric shook his head. "No, I won't. At least…not right now. But I reserve the right to use it in the future. You know, blackmail purposes or whatever."

Jackie laughed. "Go!" She pushed him towards the door, and he started to open it. "Oh, Eric? Tell Steven that I'll be over in a little while, okay?"

Eric got out of the car. "Okay." He paused. "You sure you're okay to drive home?" Hyde would kill him if Jackie got in another car accident.

She grinned. "Yeah, I'm fine." She felt a little better now, more in control. Maybe she just needed a release.

He nodded. "All right. Just take it easy around those curves, okay?"

Jackie rolled her eyes. "Yes, sir!"

With a laugh, Eric closed the car door.

_Ten minutes later, Hyde's bedroom _

Hyde stared at the ceiling. Since he left Jackie at the Hub, with Kelso, he'd tried hard to not think about it. About them. Kelso and Jackie. How easy it was between them. How they never seemed to fight or struggle over every little thing. How Kelso could make her laugh when she needed to. How Kelso could say and do what she wanted him to.

How Kelso could make her feel better. And all HE could do was make her feel like she had to pretend.

Someday she'd realize this. And someday she'd get fed up with always wanting something he'd never be. Always needing something he couldn't give. She'd leave. She'd run back to Kelso.

And damn if he was going to sit around and watch it happen.

He rolled off his cot and reached under it for his duffel bag. No way in HELL was he going to just wait around for the inevitable to happen. He stalked over to his drawers and roughly pulled one open. He grabbed some shirts and stuffed them into his bag.

He didn't know where he was going to go, but at this point, he didn't give a damn. He just had to get the hell out of here before….

Before he lost her.

"Hey, Hyde, I just saw Jackie and she….what the HELL?"

Hyde looked towards his door, and there was Forman, looking at him with that dumb, deer-caught-in-headlights look. He groaned. The last thing in the world he was in the mood for was a Forman lecture.

Damn!


	14. Do You Love Her?

**Disclaimer: **I don't own. I'm poor, and I suspect these characters cost a bunch of money. :)

**Author's Note: **Anyone remember this story? I hope so! I'm so sorry that it's been so long since I've updated it. I've been trying to work on a novel. I still am, but I want to finish this story. So I'm going to. I hope you guys still want to read it! This chapter is hopefully not TOO OOC, but I figure considering the situation, they might be a little bit more three dimensional than they were on the show. Hope you enjoy!

**Convincing **

Chapter 14 – Do You Love Her?

"What in the hell are you doing?"

Hyde shook his head and turned back to his packing. Whatever Forman had to say wasn't going to change his mind. "None of your business."

Eric shook his head slowly and took a few steps towards Hyde. He couldn't believe what he was seeing. He'd actually started to believe that Hyde genuinely cared about Jackie. Now he wasn't so sure. Obviously Hyde was planning on taking off. "You're not _leaving_, are you?"

Hyde didn't look up, and continued shoving stuff into his duffel bag. "What's it look like?"

"It looks like you're leaving." Eric began to pace the small room, still shaking his head, but now with less incredulity and more anger. Jackie was SICK, for God's sake! "I can't believe this. I just told Jackie that you weren't going to leave her, and now you're going to leave her."

That made Hyde pause, and he swallowed hard.

Eric noticed that Hyde stopped moving, and he glared at his friend's now stiff back. "Yeah, that's right, Hyde," he snapped. "She's scared that you're going to leave her. God, I can't believe this! What are you thinking?"

Hyde closed his eyes and wished Forman would somehow spontaneously combust, along with the guilt boiling in his gut. The thought that Jackie was worried that he was going to leave her as he was preparing to do exactly that….No. Forman had no idea what he was talking about. He hadn't seen the way she'd been with Kelso. He didn't understand how pointless it was for Hyde to even bother trying to fight it. "Don't judge me, Forman."

Eric rolled his eyes. He was a bit startled at how angry he felt, considering this was all over Jackie, but he didn't have time to think about it. "No, I WILL judge you, Hyde. God, I just saw Jackie sobbing her eyes out because she's so afraid to lose you, and here you are, leaving her when she needs you the most! How can I NOT judge you? Huh?" His eyes shot bullets at his best friend. "Donna said it best. You really are a heartless bastard."

Hyde wanted to flip out, to beat the glare out of Forman's eyes, and then get the hell out of there. Instead, he let go of the duffle bag, hardly seeing as it fell to the floor and spilled his tee-shirts, and sank to the cot. The thought of his dollface crying…sobbing…

Damn it. He just couldn't be what she needed, no matter how much he wanted to. No matter how much he loved her.

And he did. God help him, he loved her. More than he was capable of admitting. Much more.

Eric stared at Hyde. Only one other time had he seen this look on Hyde's face, and even then, it wasn't this clearly etched. A mixture of hurt and jealousy and….fear? He furrowed his brow. What would Hyde have to be afraid of, aside from…Jackie dying. Jackie leaving him. Just like everyone else had left him. Eric's anger began to fade into understanding. "Look, Hyde, I know you're worried about her…"

"She's better of without me, okay?" Hyde stood up and began pacing the small room, shaking his head. The anger and bitterness eating his gut loosened his lips. "You should've seen her with Kelso today. Laughing, yapping away…I come in, she gets all tense. Like she knows I'm not going to…"

"Knows you're not going to what?"

Hyde shook his head roughly and bent down to pick up his fallen duffel. He threw it on his cot and began re-stuffing his shirts into it. "Nothing. Just leave it alone."

"So this is about Kelso? You're leaving because she was laughing with Kelso? Come on, man. That's just stupid."

Hyde whipped around and glared angrily at the know-it-all Forman, and his anger ripped his mouth wide open. "She has to pretend everything is okay, Forman. When she's with me, she has to pretend that she's not scared or in pain when I know she is." He swallowed hard. "Because she knows that I can't…that I'm not…" He smoothed his hand over his mouth. "Eventually she's gonna get sick of it, and then she'll just…" His eyes wandered the room. Not much to look at, but anything was better than meeting Forman's eyes. His face felt hot; he'd said far too much.

He wasn't supposed to have feelings. And damn it, he wished to God he didn't.

"Have you ever thought that maybe when she's pretending everything is okay she's trying to protect you? That she wants you to be happy with her so she won't lose you? That she loves you so much the thought of you leaving her makes her sit in her car and sob her eyes out?" Eric shook his head with a slight smirk. "Kelso might be good comic relief for her, but you…you're the one she wants with her when she goes to the doctor. You're the one she trusts. You're the one she loves, Hyde."

Before he could stop himself, Hyde uttered the question he'd been wondering ever since the first time she'd looked at him with those soft, adoring, love-me-too eyes. "Why?"

For the first time ever, at least as far as he could remember, Eric saw insecurity in his best friend. Hyde was normally so cocky. So sure of himself. This was so odd. "You…look, Hyde, you and Jackie need to talk about this." Hyde rolled his eyes and turned away from him, back towards the cot, and Eric sighed. Of course. Hyde hated talking. "I'm going to ask you something. And you never have to admit to it again. But…" Hyde's body stiffened and stilled, and Eric took a deep breath. He was, once again, risking great bodily harm. "Do you love her?"

Just outside the door to the small room, Jackie leaned against the wall so neither Eric nor Steven could see her. Her heart had stopped beating, and she held her breath. She'd heard nearly the entire conversation, and what she'd heard explained so much. Now she understood how her Steven felt. Tears burned her eyes, but in this second, the only thing that mattered was how Steven answered Eric's question.

How she needed him to love her, because oh, how she loved him.

Hyde turned and looked at Forman, square in the eyes. He raised his shoulders somewhat, hoping that was enough of an answer. It wasn't. Forman raised his eyebrows, and Hyde sighed. Damn it. It was bad enough that Jackie always wanted him to say it. Now he had to say it to Forman? He licked his dry lips, and his gaze dropped to the ground. "Yeah." A pause. "I…I do."

"Steven."

Hyde turned, startled, towards the doorway, and his heart skipped ten beats. Jackie stood there, her make up a mess, wet tracks running down her pale cheeks. "Jackie, what are you…" He trailed off when she started moving towards him, her eyes locked on his, sliding by Forman as if he wasn't even in the room. He couldn't take his eyes off her, god, she was so beautiful, but in his peripheral vision saw Forman slip out of the room. He nodded slightly in gratitude when Forman closed the door behind him. His body began to tingle when Jackie stood only a foot in front of him, so close his nerve endings could imagine her touch.

And every nerve ending in his body wanted her touch.

She tried to smile, but it shook on her lips. "You…do you want to know why I love you, Steven?" she asked, her voice uncharacteristically soft. He didn't answer, except with a slight movement of his lips. She took a deep breath. "Steven, I love you because you're you. Everything about you, even the things that…" She shrugged. "Even the things that drive me crazy…Steven, I just love you so much."

Hyde had to swallow over and over again. Otherwise that stupid burning in his throat was likely to move up to his eyes. And THAT wasn't going to happen. No way in hell he was going to cry. Even though his stomach was all twisted up. Even though his heart felt about ten hundred times its normal size because of Jackie's words. And she meant them. Her eyes never lied. Ever. And right now they were soft and shining. Vulnerable. Honest.

She loved him…because he was himself.

But was it enough? Could it possibly be enough?

He cleared his throat and fought the temptation to touch her. He wanted to so badly. "I…Jackie, I'm never gonna be…I mean, I'm never gonna know what to say…"

Her finger on his lips quieted him, and he swallowed hard again. Her touch, even such a small one, felt so damn good. How could this tiny person, with her tiny fingers, have such a resounding effect on him?

"Steven, it doesn't matter if you don't know what to say." Jackie smiled, and a few tears slowly rolled off her lower eyelashes. She stepped closer to him and softly lay her hands on his chest. "It doesn't matter if you make me laugh…Michael does that…No, no, Steven, listen to me." She gripped his shirt when he began to pull away from her at the mention of her ex-boyfriend's name. "Michael does, that's true, but Steven…Michael doesn't make me feel safe just by holding my hand. Michael doesn't make me feel protected just by standing next to me." Her hands flattened on his chest, and she rubbed tiny circles on him. "You do, Steven. Always." She raised her shoulders. "And that's what I need, Steven. You are what I need."

Hyde didn't dwell on the mushiness inside his gut, around his heart, and instead, grabbed his dollface's little waist and pulled her towards him. Kissing was so much easier than talking. He pressed his lips to hers, and immediately flicked his tongue. She opened for him, and the kiss deepened.

_God, I love you, Jackie. _

They drew apart, breathing slightly heavy, and Hyde left his face only inches above hers. He pulled her body closer and the feeling of her breasts against his chest, instead of instantly turning him on the way it normally did, made him shiver. Yeah, he loved her so much more than he wanted to admit. And he sure as hell felt it. But damn. She loved him too. She needed him. HIM, and not Kelso. A bit of confidence and security crept into his bones. Maybe he wouldn't lose her after all. "I don't want you to pretend that you're okay when you're not anymore, Jackie. So you need to stop that."

Jackie nodded and slipped her hands underneath his tee shirt. His skin was so warm and smooth, and she moved her touch all the way up to his shoulder blades. "I don't want you to leave me."

His lips curved upwards. "I'm not going to, dollface."

She arched an eyebrow, and her eyes flickered towards his duffel bag. "Kind of looks like it, Steven."

He thought fast. Excuse. Make up an excuse. "That? No no no no no. I was just…I was taking my tee shirts to…to…" He grinned. "To have them appraised. Yeah. I was going to sell them and buy a whole new wardrobe. I'm over the tee shirt thing."

Jackie giggled. Right. The day Steven invested money in clothing was the day she started worshipping foreigners. "Right, honey."

Hyde brushed his lips over hers, and then his smile faded. He looked into her eyes. "I'm not going to leave you, Jackie."

They kissed again, long and soft. When it ended, Jackie looked up at her boyfriend, her face slightly twisted with worry. "You won't leave me? Even if I cry? Even if I…even if…after they shave my head? Even if…"

"Jackie." He covered her lips with his fingers, and stroked them lightly. "I'm not going to leave you." He smiled slightly. "As long as you don't expect me to turn into Forman."

"Oh god, no," she answered with a chuckle. "That would ruin you, Steven."

He nodded. "Remember that when you want me to fawn all over you."

But even as he said it, he knew he would. If she was sick, if she didn't feel well, and if she asked, he knew that he'd run out for some stupid girly magazine for her. Or even, god forbid, disgusting feminine hygiene products.

She stood on her toes and kissed him, and his body tensed with pleasure when her mouth sucked lightly on his lower lip. But she pulled away, and his heart began to sink when she started to cry softly. "Steven," she whispered, her lips trembling like a little girl's after a scolding. "Steven, I'm so…I'm so….I'm so scared!"

And now his sinking heart ached for her. His dollface. His chick. She had to have her head cut open two days from now. She could die. She was staring the grim reaper in his ugly red eyes. He swallowed and pulled her into a hug. "I know," he said lamely.

What else could he say?

After a long, quiet but for her sobs moment, he pulled away and took her hand. "Come here." He dragged her the few feet to the cot then dropped her hand. He pushed the duffel bag off his bed and lay down on his side. He patted the space next to him. "Come here."

Jackie bit her lip. He'd hate her, but the last thing she wanted to do was have sex. "Steven, I'm sorry, I just don't feel like…"

"No, Jackie, I just want to…just come here."

She stared at him, and a smile spread across her face. "Oh my god, Steven, you want to cuddle!" She giggled and clapped her hands together. "I knew you'd turn into a cuddler! I KNEW I'd get you to! Yay!"

He rolled his eyes, but when she lay down next to him and nestled into his arms, he got over it. He supposed he could handle a bit of humiliation if it meant having her close, and hearing her little giggles. "Yeah, whatever, Jackie."

They settled in, Hyde turning over to lie on his back, and Jackie curved up against him, her head on his chest. He stroked her hair. Thick. Soft. He loved how his fingers felt in her hair.

_She's going to lose her hair. They have to shave her head in order to cut…_

_She could die. _

He felt sick. She could die. And then…then he'd be without her. No more of her sweet purring into his ear. No more of her weird, usually annoying but endearing efforts to take care of him. No more of her kisses, her hugs. No more of her hissy fits. No more of her.

No more of her.

"Jackie."

She kept her eyes closed and rubbed Steven's flat stomach. "What, Steven?"

He hesitated. He wasn't supposed to admit to this kind of crap. He wasn't even supposed to feel this kind of crap. But…

_No more of her. _

"I'm scared too, dollface."

Jackie's head shot up, and she stared down at his face. His eyes, blue, beautifully blue, met hers, and the honesty in his brought her tears back. "Oh, Steven…"

She buried her head in the crook of her neck and cried. But his arms were tight around her. She could feel his heart beating underneath her. She could feel the warmth of his breath on her skin, his hands pressing down on her back and burning through her shirt. And it was all she needed.

Hyde squeezed his eyes closed. No. No tears. No, no, no. No.

A silent sob cracked his chest. And something wet built underneath his eyes.

So much for willpower.

_Do you love her? _

His winced and held her even tighter. She squealed a bit, but didn't protest.

_I love her so much. _


	15. Surprise!

**Disclaimer: **Don't own!

**Author's Note:** Thank you all for the reviews! I'm so glad you remember this and are still enjoying it. Yay! I hope you continue to do so. :)

**Warning: **Mild language.

Convincing

Chapter 15 – Surprise!

Eric sat at his mother's kitchen table, watching as his girlfriend prepared to wrap a rather thick gift box. He reached out and thumbed the edge of the sickeningly purple and pink wrapping paper she was measuring. "Why does it have to be unicorn paper?" he grumbled. "I mean, how old is she, anyway? Six?"

Donna smirked and wrapped the paper around the box. "You really shouldn't talk, Mr. I-spend-hours-playing-with-Star Wars-dolls-in-the tub." She looked at him with an arched eyebrow. "And you're older than she is."

He nodded sarcastically, then leveled a stern look at her. "Okay, first of all, they're ACTION FIGURES. Not dolls. And second of all, Star Wars is a classic tale of good versus evil. Something we can all learn from. Unicorns…well, they aren't even real."

She struggled not to laugh. She loved Eric, hell, she adored him, but sometimes he could be such a geek. "And Star Wars _is_?"

Eric stared at her and spoke with deadly seriousness. "Oh, yes."

She shook her head and grinned affectionately. Yeah, he was a geek, but he was hers, and she wouldn't want him any other way. "Whatever, Eric." She returned her attention to the present she was wrapping and began taping the paper on the box. "So, you think Jackie knows about this "hope you have fun in the hospital" party we're having for her?"

Eric pursed his forehead in an effort to appear thoughtful. "Well, she IS the devil, Donna, so I'm sure she does." He grinned, proud of himself. "Plus, we told Fez about it."

The sliding door behind Eric opened, and Kelso walked in, holding a brightly decorated package. "Hey guys," he said. He stopped next to Donna and looked her up and down. "Looking good, Big D."

She shook her head, but her lips bore a small smile.

"So, you got your present for Jackie?" Eric asked. "And is it something she can use in the hospital?"

Kelso sat down across the table from Eric, and his eyes lit up. "Yes and yes," he said. "Jackie's gonna love it, and I can guarantee you that it's better than whatever crap Hyde's gonna give her." He shook his head and released a little huff of disgust. "He's probably just gonna give her another stupid tee shirt." He grinned. "You know, I've never seen her wear that. I gave her a buttload of clothes, and she wore all of them."

Donna and Eric exchanged glances. "Um, Kelso, I don't really think now is the best time for you to be trying to one-up Hyde."

Kelso sighed, and his expression became solemn. "Okay, look. I've been doing a lot of thinking lately…"

Eric nodded. "No wonder I've been smelling so much smoke." Donna chuckled, but Kelso didn't, and his eyes narrowed.

"I'm serious, Eric. Look, I still love Jackie, and I'm gonna get her back." He grinned widely and patted his present. "Starting with what's in this box."

Eric and Donna stared at him for a long, tense moment.

"You should have seen her the other day when we were at the mall. She was flirting and laughing…she wants me, man! And I mean, how can I blame her? My foxitude is overwhelming!"

Donna groaned softly. "Kelso, please."

Eric frowned. Damn. He'd been afraid of this. He'd noticed Kelso staring at Jackie more and more lately, and he knew that it wasn't because Kelso was worried about her. Hell, he barely understood what was going on with her. "Kelso, she's with Hyde. And I'm pretty sure he's not going to just give her up. Remember what happened last time you tried to interfere?"

Kelso looked at him, and for once, he was completely serious. "I know," he answered quietly. "But I'm willing to take a punch if it means I can get Jackie back." He stood up. "Look, Hyde is just wrong for her. I mean, he cheated on her AND he married a stripper. He just doesn't get her, man. He never buys her stuff or anything. He never does what she says. He never compliments her. And I DO. See? I can make her happy and Hyde can't."

Donna stared at him incredulously. "Kelso, YOU cheated on her! Half a million times! How is that making her happy?"

Kelso rolled his eyes, exasperated. "Because, Donna, after I cheated, I always got her stuff! Lots of stuff! Shiny stuff, just like she likes! What has HYDE ever got her that was shiny? Nothing!"

Eric shook his head. "Kelso," he said quietly. "Don't do this. For the love of God, don't do this." How he'd love to tell Kelso what had happened just last night, how Hyde had confessed that he loved Jackie, how he'd more or less admitted that he was afraid of losing her. But he couldn't. Hyde would kill him.

Kelso glared at him. "Fine. Take his side. But you're gonna lose." He shook his head and began to back away from the table. When Eric began to speak, Kelso waved him off with a hand. "You know what? Forget it. I don't care what you think. All I care about is getting Jackie back."

Both Donna and Eric watched as Kelso stalked out of the kitchen.

She looked at Eric. "Why do I suddenly have a really bad feeling about this party?"

Eric grimaced and nervously tapped his fingers on the table. "Maybe we should arrange for an ambulance ahead of time. Since obviously, blood will be shed."

Donna dropped her forehead into her hand and gently rubbed her now aching temples. When was this damn triangle going to end for good?

_Two hours later, the basement _

"SURPRISE!"

Jackie gasped and forced herself to look surprised as Steven led her into the festively decorated basement. Balloons were tied to the furniture, streamers hung on the wall, a pile of presents on the table, and a cake (with a few pieces missing) next to the gifts. "Oh my god, is this for me?" She clapped her hands and squealed, bouncing on her feet like the little girl she sometimes still was.

Hyde smirked. He knew Jackie knew about this. He'd caught her giving him those little smug glances as he made excuse after excuse this afternoon to keep her away from the Forman's. "Okay, Jackie, you don't have to pretend that you didn't know about this party. The only question I have is, who told you?"

All eyes, including Jackie's, immediately swung to Fez. He flushed and shrugged. "I did not tell her. Okay, maybe I told her that I had to buy balloons and streamers. But I did not tell her for what." His eyes darted between the five faces directed at him. "Fine! I did! But in my defense, she bribed me with candy!" He gazed at Jackie and smiled sweetly. "You know me so well, Jackie."

Hyde arched an eyebrow. "Did you also eat those two missing pieces of cake?"

Fez hung his head. "I cannot lie. I did." He glared at Jackie. "She did not give me enough candy!"

Jackie giggled, but looked confused when she noticed the banner hung on the shower curtain. "Why does that banner say "Happy graduation"?"

Donna shrugged. "It was the closest we could find to "Happy going into the hospital"." She walked over to Jackie and pulled her into a hug. "We just wanted you to know that we're going to be there for you. Every day."

Jackie smiled against Donna's shoulder, and when the hug ended, she pulled back and smiled gratefully up at her. "Thanks, Donna. I know I don't say it much…well, at all…but you really are my best friend."

They hugged again, and Kelso leapt off the lawn chair. He pointed at the girls. "See, you two totally wanna make out!" He grinned. "I KNEW it!"

The girls broke apart, and both shot Kelso annoyed looks. He shrugged and sat down. "Well, I did! And you DO!"

Donna rolled her eyes. "Whatever, Kelso. Okay, Jackie, wanna open your presents?"

More hand clapping and squealing from Jackie, and Hyde chuckled as she nearly skipped over to the couch to sit down in front of the pile. He walked over to his chair and sat down, trying not to smile too much. Trying not to let how adorable he thought she was be too obvious. He had to be careful since he wasn't wearing his glasses, and so he looked at Kelso. His slight smile immediately faded. Kelso was staring at Jackie, and the look on his face opened a gnawing sore in Hyde's stomach.

"Open mine first, Jackie," Kelso said excitedly. He glanced across the table at Hyde, and couldn't stop himself from smirking. "You're gonna love it."

Eric sat on the couch on Jackie's left, Donna was on her right. He noticed the look Kelso was shooting at Hyde, and he groaned inside. "Kelso," he muttered. "Don't."

This was NOT going to be good.

Kelso heard Eric, but ignored it. "I guarantee you, Jackie. It's going to…well, lets just say it's going to put everything in perspective for you."

Hyde crossed his arms over his chest and glowered at the moron across the table from him. "You don't even know what perspective means, moron." Something was going on. Something he didn't like. Something that was already making him crave Kelso's blood.

_He's going to make a move on her. _

Kelso just smiled. "I guess we'll see about that, now, won't we, Hyde?"

Jackie picked up the package from Michael, and, oblivious to the non-verbal communication going on between him and Steven, giggled and began to open it. "God, I love presents!"

Donna laughed and watched Jackie tear through the paper. "Gee, Jackie, really? Who would have guessed?"

Jackie laughed. "Shut up, you lumberjack, I just thought…." Her words and smile died when she saw what was in the box she'd just opened. "Michael…oh my god…" She shook her head in disbelief, and without thinking, pulled out of the box a thin strapped, pink satin nightie.

Kelso smiled. "Surprise! Something for you to wear when I come visit you in the hospital."

Hyde stood up, his face already flaming with the anger that now boiled lava hot in his stomach. "You better run, Kelso," he said, his voice low and menacing. "Because I'm going to kick your ass!" He started towards Kelso, kicking over his chair in the process, but one word stopped him.

"Steven!"

He stopped and looked at Jackie. She was staring at him almost desperately, her face pale, her hand rubbing her temple. He took a deep breath, but it wasn't enough, so he took another. Then another. Then another.

The rage inside was building, and he was almost literally seeing red.

Jackie climbed over Donna, cursing her lumberjack sized legs, and scurried to stand in front of Steven. "Steven, just…just wait. Please." He didn't look at her, but he stood still, and she touched his chest briefly. She turned around and looked at Michael. Her stomach hurt. She should have known this was coming. She should have seen it coming after the other day at the mall. He'd flirted, tried to seduce her, made all sorts of disparaging comments about Steven.

She should have known.

"Michael, we need to talk. In private." She looked around the basement. "Lets go to Steven's room."

"Hell no!"

Jackie turned around and found herself the victim of one of Steven's nastiest scowls. "But Steven…"

"No. There's no way in hell you're going in there with him. Not after he gave you a present like that." God, couldn't she SEE what Kelso was doing? What he wanted?

Or maybe…maybe she…maybe she did, and maybe…

Maybe she liked it.

Jackie noticed the slight twitching of his lips, and she knew immediately what he was thinking. She took a step closer to him and put her hands on his chest. "Steven," she said in nearly a whisper. "Remember what I told you yesterday. I meant it."

Hyde took a deep breath, and stared into her eyes. Mismatched, yet so perfect for one another.

_Kind of like us. _

"I just want to put an end to this for good, and I don't want to embarrass him, okay?"

He closed his eyes, and then opened them again. "Fez has to go with you."

Fez had such a big mouth. Besides, he was susceptible to both threats and bribes. It would be easy to find out what went on.

Fez stood up and smiled. "Yes. I will keep an eye on things." He turned to Kelso and spoke softly. "And I will join in if you and Jackie start to do it."

Not soft enough. Hyde took a few steps past Jackie, this time his glare directed at Fez. "No, Fez. You'll keep an eye on things and come get me if Don Juan El Tardo here makes a move on my girlfriend. Unless you want your problem with your needs permanently solved in a very, very, very painful way."

Fez shuddered. He had no doubt that Hyde meant that threat. "Yes. Yes, that is a much better plan."

Kelso gave Hyde a self-satisfied and gloating smile as Jackie took him by the hand and led him back towards Hyde's bedroom, the two followed by Fez.

Donna stared at Hyde. He'd turned and walked over to the washing machine, and was standing there, his hands on the machine. He was obviously breathing hard, because his shoulders were rising and falling quickly. She opened her mouth, but no words came out.

What was there to say?

Instead, she looked at the nightie Jackie had dropped back into the box. "This is what Kelso thought was going to get Jackie back?" she asked quietly, turning towards Eric.

Hyde turned around. "I'm gonna kill him." He spoke to no one, and stared at the table. "I am GOING to kill him!"

And the thirst for blood, Kelso's blood, became so strong it nearly crushed his throat.

Eric leaned over to Donna. "I think I'm gonna go call that ambulance now."

Donna nodded. "Probably a very good idea."

Hyde closed his eyes.

_I am going to KILL HIM! _


	16. Beautiful Together

**Disclaimer: **I don't own.

**Author's Note: **Thanks so much for reading! And reviewing! You have been very sweet...This chapter didn't come out quite how I wanted it to, but I'm anxious to get to the next chapter, in which Hyde gives Jackie a special gift. :) I hope this isn't too far in left field, but I always thought Kelso and Jackie should have a conversation like this.Hope you enjoy, and again, thanks so much for reading my fic!

Convincing

Chapter 16 – Beautiful Together

Jackie walked into Steven's room, her mind reeling. A nightie? How could Michael give her a nightie? In front of Steven?

_You know why, Jackie. _

She did. Michael thought, and probably had ever since their final break up, that they would eventually get back together. And what was even worse was the fact that she'd never done anything to dispel him of the idea, not even after she'd fallen in love with Steven.

Steven had known that. And he'd been insecure about it. How could he not have been? She'd called Michael her boyfriend in front of him, for pete's sake!

He'd broken up with her over that. She should have known then. She should have changed it then. But she didn't. And it only made things worse.

It made Steven cheat on her with that skanky nurse who probably had five different types of vd's.

It drove him to Las Vegas and into his stupid "marriage" to that slutty stripper.

She'd never tried to stop Michael from thinking he had a chance with her, hoping that jealousy would keep Steven in line. Or something like that. Now she understood that all it had done was damage. Eavesdropping on Steven's conversation with Eric showed her that.

Something had to be done. Her relationship with Steven couldn't survive if Michael continued to hang over their heads, over _his_ head.

She sat down on Steven's bed, and frowned when Michael sat next to her. She shrugged his arm off her shoulder and pointed. "No, Michael. You sit over there."

"But Jackie…"

"Michael!"

Kelso sighed and flopped over to the chair, sitting down with a pout. "Fine." He glared at Fez, who stood between him and Jackie, a smile on his face and his arms crossed over his chest. "Go away, Fez."

Jackie shook her head. "No. Fez stays." She smiled at Fez. "But go stand by the door."

Fez shook his head sadly. "Fine." He rolled his eyes and muttered something incomprehensible.

Jackie sighed, and looked at her ex-boyfriend. Hopefully she could be patient. Hopefully. "Michael, why on earth did you give me that nightie? And in front of Steven?"

Kelso smirked. "Duh, to make Hyde look bad. I know how you like clothes, and shiny stuff. And the nightie is both." He sat up straight and shuffled his shoulders proudly. "Plus it's really sexy." His eyebrows danced seductively at her.

She rolled her eyes. As much as she wanted to be patient with Michael, her voice came out tight and frustrated. She couldn't forget the look on Steven's face, in his eyes. Yeah, there was a whole lot of anger, but underneath that…she'd seen it. His fear. His insecurity. "Well, I don't like it. And I don't like what you're doing to Steven. So you'd better stop it."

Kelso's smile faded, and he leaned forward. He was going to have to be serious if he was to get her back, obviously. "Okay, look. The truth is, I gave you that nightie to tell you something. That I want you back."

Jackie instinctively retorted with a cocky comment. "Well, of course you do, Michael. How could you not? I mean, look at me." She looked down at herself. "I'm gorgeous. Even Fez wants me back, and he's never even had me!"

Fez nodded from his banishment by the door. "Yes, that is true." He gazed longingly at Jackie.

She sighed, and her bravado immediately faded when she remembered Steven's words from last night. _"She's better off without me, okay? You should've seen her with Kelso today. Laughing, yapping away…I come in, she gets all tense. Like she knows I'm not going to…" _Something sharp stabbed in the middle of her chest. Knowing that Steven felt that way…it hurt her. Deeply. "Michael, it's not going to happen. Ever."

Kelso frowned. "Why not? Jackie, we belong together! You're good looking, I'm super fine…God, Jackie, you always said good looking people should only be with other good looking people, and lets face it, Hyde just ain't very good looking!"

She shook her head. "Yes he is," she whispered, thinking of how handsome he was, of how beautiful he was when he looked at her in certain ways when he thought she wasn't paying attention. "But that's not why I'm with him, or why I'm always going to stay with him." She watched as Michael stood up, his face twisting with displeasure and obvious frustration. "Michael…"

"No. I don't get it, Jackie!" Kelso began pacing the small room. "I'm the one who buys you stuff! I'm the one who takes you places! I do whatever you say! Hyde just yells at you when you bitch at him to do anything!" He whipped around to look at her. "And he cheated on you! With a nurse!"

Jackie stood up and glared angrily at him, so angry that not even the memory of that skanky nurse hurt. "Like you're one to talk, Michael! You cheated on me constantly! Even when you knew it hurt me, you kept doing it!" She took a deep breath. "Steven cheated once. Because he thought I'd cheated first. And he never did it again, Michael, because he didn't like hurting me."

Kelso gave her a look. "Jackie, I've told you this before, I cheated out of joy!"

It was so ridiculous, and she smiled wryly. Her head shook slightly. "You just don't get it, Michael. You don't get _me._"

She'd never realized it more acutely than she did now.

And she'd never felt a stronger sense of peace than she did now. Finally, FINALLY, she was saying goodbye to her first love.

He raised his hands in the air, as if he were helpless to understand the whole situation. "What's to get? You like being good looking, getting stuff, going to fancy places, unicorns. I've got it down pat, Jackie!"

She took a few steps towards him. "I want more than that, Michael. I want to think about things. Steven makes me think about things I've never thought about. I want to feel safe and cared about. I want to feel protected. Do you know what Steven did at my doctor's appointment? He almost beat the doctor up when he said I had to have surgery. All because he didn't want me to have to have my head cut open." It wasn't exactly the truth, but close enough. And it WAS true that Steven had lost his temper.

"So? I can beat up people too!" He moved to stand directly in front of her, and put his hands on her shoulders. "Look, Jackie, I know I've been stupid in the past. I know I've screwed up. But I'm not gonna anymore. I can change."

She smiled affectionately and patted his waist with one hand. "You shouldn't have to change to make someone want to be with you, Michael."

"You changed for Hyde."

"No. I grew. Because of Steven." Michael's face looked puzzled, and she sighed. She'd never be able to explain any of this to him. He just wasn't capable, at least not at this point in his life, of understanding. "Look, Michael, I really love Steven."

"You loved me. And you told me just a few months ago that you'd always love me!"

"And I will. But it's different. I love you, Michael, but I'm…" Jackie smiled, and the warm feeling Steven gave her constantly wrapped around her heart. "I'm _in love_ with Steven." She shrugged. "I like the way I feel with him. I like the way I AM with him…I just love him so much, Michael."

Kelso's shoulders slumped. He was beginning to think that he was fighting a losing battle. The way she talked about Hyde, the way her face softened when she talked about Hyde…it was sickening. "Why Hyde?" he whined, walking around Jackie and plopping down onto the cot Hyde called his bed. "You guys are so different. You don't make any sense." He rolled his eyes. "And believe me, we've ALL tried to figure it out!"

Jackie sat down next to him. How could she explain it to him?

And then she thought of something Steven had once told her, about her eyes, in a rare moment of romanticism. Of course, he'd been trying to seduce her, but still. It still counted.

"Michael, do you like my eyes?"

He looked at her and grinned. Maybe this was his chance. She was asking for a compliment, and he was good at those. He'd always managed to make her smile and sometimes even blush, even swoon when they were together. "Of course I do, Jackie," he said in his smoothest tone. "They're gorgeous, just like you." He slid his gaze up and down her body.

Jackie had to force herself to not roll her eyes. "Well, why do you like them?" He stared at her blankly, and her patience, already stretched thin, faltered. She huffed quietly. "Maybe because of their color?"

"Oh! Yeah, yeah, definitely!" Kelso responded enthusiastically. He stared into her eyes. "I love the color….wait…Jackie, have your eyes always been two different colors? Cause I don't remember that." He grinned. "Of course, most of the time I wasn't looking at your eyes. I was looking at your boobs." His eyebrows arched. "You've got great boobs, you know."

She nearly sucked her lower lip into her mouth in order to not yell at him. And yet, she wasn't surprised. So much about her Michael had never noticed. So very much. "Anyway…that's what makes them special, right? That's what makes them unique, and so beautiful….right?"

He nodded. This was definitely his chance. "Definitely." He cocked his head. "Cool, one green, one blue…god, Jackie, they really are gorgeous! I've never seen anyone else with eyes like that."

"And if my eyes were both the same color, they probably wouldn't be as special, would they?"

"No, they'd just be…the same."

"Well, my eyes are just like me and Steven. They don't match, they're not the same, but they're beautiful together. They belong together." She paused. "Just like me and Steven."

Kelso frowned when he realized what she meant. "Wait, you tricked me."

She shook her head again and patted his thigh. "Michael…"

And suddenly, Kelso realized that there was no point to arguing anymore. He wasn't going to win. For whatever reason, Hyde had won, and Jackie wasn't ever going to change her mind. The way she talked about His chest deflated, and again, his shoulders rounded downwards. He stared at his legs. "So we're never gonna get back together, are we?"

A burst of sadness, not so much for herself, but for him, rushed through her veins. He seemed disappointed, and yet, she knew he didn't really LOVE her the way he was arguing. He couldn't. Hell, he wasn't even worried about her surgery. All his focus was on getting her back. This was about something else. Maybe boredom, or loneliness. "No, Michael." She sighed. "Look, I don't even think you really want me back, anyway. You're just…you're bored. Lonely. And you fixated on me because…well, aside from the fact that I'm incredibly beautiful and desirable, because I'm comfortable for you."

Kelso shrugged. "I don't know. I've just been…I mean, ever since Brooke dumped me…I just…" He shook his head sadly. "I thought I could really…I mean, I thought we could really have something." He tried to put on a brave face. "Oh well. I guess I'll just be alone forever."

Jackie wrapped her arm around his shoulder. "No you won't, Michael. You'll find someone. I know you will. You're too good looking not to. Just…not me." She smiled, and he did too. "Now….do you promise that you won't do anything to bait Steven? Not try to make him jealous? Can you and I just be friends and nothing more?"

Kelso nodded. "Well, I can promise I won't try to make him jealous and that we can just be friends, but can I at least still try to burn him every chance I get? I mean, come on, that's all I have right now!"

She laughed. "Oh, fine, you big jerk. You can still try to burn him."

They hugged, and suddenly, Fez joined in. "Oh, that was so beautiful," he sighed as he threw his arms around both Kelso and Jackie. "And to celebrate, we should take turns doing it. Kelso, you may go first and I'll watch."

Jackie drew away from Kelso and glared at Fez. "Don't make me get Steven!"

Fez pulled back, and his eyes shone with fear. "Please do not do that. I like my needs."

Kelso grinned and stood up. "Come on, Fez. Lets find something to steal and hide from Hyde." He giggled. "Get it? Hide from _Hyde_?"

Jackie shook her head in amusement, and her stomach, tight since she'd pulled that nightie out of the box, finally relaxed.

It was finally over, and now she could completely concentrate on Steven.

And try not to think about the fact that her head was going to be cut open in just over forty-eight hours.

_God, Steven, I'm so scared. _


	17. So Important To You

**Disclaimer: **I don't own.

**Author's Note: **Hope you enjoy this one, and I hope it's not too far OOC. Thanks so much for the reviews! You all are very sweet, and honestly, probably too kind. :)

Convincing

Chapter 17 – So Important to You

Eric tapped his fingers on his knee nervously. No one had said a word since Hyde announced he was going to kill Kelso. The only activity was his own tapping, Donna's fingering of the ill-advised nightie, and Hyde's repeated lethal glares at said nightie. Eric leaned closer to Donna and whispered urgently. "You better stop that."

Donna gave her boyfriend a puzzled look. "Why?"

"Because you're drawing Hyde's attention to that…thing, and I think his head might literally explode if he keeps looking at it."

Her eyes widened and she immediately let go of the nightie. She glanced nervously at Hyde, who sat in his chair with his arms crossed. The look on Hyde's bordered on homicidal; no need to make things worse. She smiled weakly. "So…" She nodded, trying desperately to think of something to say. She failed. "Yeah."

Eric tried to help. "So…guess we should probably take this opportunity to hide anything that could be used as a weapon, huh, Hyde?" He laughed, but Donna glared at him, and the scowl Hyde aimed at him killed it almost immediately. "Uh…yeah. Maybe I should just shut up."

Hyde said nothing. He swallowed hard and stared at that damn pink nightie. They'd been in his room for almost ten minutes. A few more seconds, he was going in there. And Kelso would die. Not quickly and painlessly, either.

The three in the basement's main room all looked towards Hyde's room when the door opened loudly, almost purposefully so, and they watched silently as the other three walked around the couch. Kelso sat down on the lawn chair and pouted at Hyde. "Okay, Hyde. I'm not gonna hit on Jackie anymore."

Jackie swatted him on the back of his head. "Michael, what did I tell you?"

He rolled his eyes. "I mean, I'm not going to hit on _your_ girlfriend. Or look at her like I'm thinking about hitting on her. Or touch her. Or whatever else will make you mad."

She patted him on the back. "Much better."

Hyde raised his eyebrows and smiled slightly. "Good to know." His smile disappeared, and he stood up. His hands clenched into tight, perfect for punching Kelso's face in, fists. "But I'm still kicking your ass."

Jackie scrambled around Michael's chair and to her very pissed looking boyfriend. She stood in front of him and put her hand on his chest. "Steven, it's over," she said quietly. His eyes flickered down to her, and she could feel the worry in him that he'd so like to deny. Her heart ached. This was her fault; it was her doing that he was insecure about Michael, and she'd have to change that from now on.

From now on, she wasn't going to ever give him any reason to doubt her love. Never again.

"I promise, Steven."

Her surprisingly soothing whisper, and the soft look in her mismatched eyes shot him in the heart. Nothing else in the room registered to him in that moment; all he could see or think or feel was her. Her sweet lips curved upwards at the corners, and he couldn't help it. His stomach relaxed, his heart unclenched. Damn.

He believed her. And it felt…odd. Good, but…odd.

Jackie smiled when Steven visibly swallowed. She drew a circle on his chest with her palm, and when his lips twitched, she knew he was calming down. "Okay. Now lets get back to what we were doing." She giggled. "Opening my presents!" With a little squeal, she climbed over Donna's legs and sat back down in the middle of the couch, in front of her pile of gifts. She immediately pushed the nightie away and tore into the next present.

Hyde glanced at Kelso. He might believe Jackie, but he sure as hell didn't trust Kelso. And so he walked to the other end of the couch where Eric sat, and stood there, giving his friend a rather nasty look.

Eric got the point. "Oh, you want to sit here." He grinned and stood up, thought about making a smart ass remark, then noticed that the homicide wasn't completely gone from Hyde's eyes. "Man, where are your sunglasses, Hyde? I never noticed it before, but you could probably kill someone with those looks you're shooting around."

Hyde settled in next to Jackie. He put his arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer to him. He looked at Kelso pointedly. "Yeah, I know." He grinned. "Good stuff, huh, Kelso?"

Kelso smiled and nodded sarcastically.

"Oh, a robe! Donna, where did you find this? I looked EVERYWHERE and I couldn't find a pink robe!" Jackie pulled the fluffy garment out and smiled widely. She closed her eyes and rubbed it against her cheek. "It's so soft!"

Donna smiled. "You'd better like it. Eric and I had to drive to Kenosha to find that."

Eric nodded, a sly grin crossing his face. "Yeah, but it was worth the trip. We made a little…_rest_ stop off the highway on the way home." The guys all gave him congratulatory smirks. Donna rolled her eyes.

"Awwww, Donna, that's so sweet!" Jackie smiled happily at the robe. "This will be perfect for me to wear in the hospital." She made a face. "So much better than those god awful gowns they give you there."

Kelso frowned. "But what about the nightie I got you? You could wear that."

Hyde glared at him. "Kelso, I swear to god, you mention that nightie again, you'll be singing soprano!"

Jackie put her hand on Steven's thigh and also glared at her ex. "Michael, what did we JUST talk about?"

Kelso threw his hands up in the air. "I'm SORRY! God! Bad habits are hard to break!"

Jackie's hand slipped further up on his thigh, and inward, and it made Hyde smile. "Yeah, well, I knew there had to be a reason Jackie stayed with you longer than a week."

Fez grinned. "Ah burn!"

Kelso glared at him. "Shut up, Fez!" He paused, thinking, and then smiled. "Okay, that was a good burn, Hyde."

Fez gave Jackie a stuffed animal, and Kitty brought down a box full of cheesy romance novels, adding that Red highly recommended them. Kelso couldn't help but notice that there was no gift from Hyde.

And he also couldn't help himself from commenting on it.

"So, Hyde, where's your present?" He looked at Jackie. "Your _boyfriend_ didn't get you anything." He shook his head. "Tsk, tsk. How very sad."

Hyde smirked. "Oh, I got her something. I'm just waiting to give it to her." He ran his hand through Jackie's hair, up and down the back of her head and spoke mockingly. "I'm thinking I'll give it to her in the morning, after we have sex all night long. Unlike you, since you have no _girlfriend_. Like I _do_."

Fez grinned, Eric and Donna groaned, Michael stuttered and looked shocked, and Jackie swatted at Steven's leg. "Steven!"

He looked at her. "Hey, I just want to be sure he knows exactly who will be doing what with whom." He shrugged. "Besides, he needs to pay for giving you that nightie." He focused a hard look at Kelso. "Idiot."

Jackie smiled and scooted closer to him. She reached up and whispered in his ear. "I love it when you get all possessive, Steven." She brushed her lips over his cheek. Mmmm…it felt stubbly and warm, and smelled faintly of the Old Spice he was fond of. She kissed him again. And again. A few more times.

Hyde nearly closed his eyes because of her sweet kisses, but managed to restrain himself. "Whatever," he answered. He looked at her, and her eyes shone up at him. Before he knew it, his neck bent and his lips caught hers.

Afterwards, his heart skipped a beat when she rewarded him with that one certain smile of hers. The one that said he was the one, and he always would be.

And he grinned. Yeah. _His_ chick.

_Two hours later _

The basement was quiet but for the sound of Laverne and Shirley bickering on the television. Everyone had gone out for pizza, except for Jackie and Hyde. She'd come down with a headache, and now they sat together on the couch. She rested her head on his shoulder, and his arm was around her shoulders. Her eyes closed, and she tried to focus on the soothing circles he was rubbing into her suffering temple.

Hyde glanced at the top of Jackie's head. "Its pretty bad, huh?"

"It feels like a drill in my skull."

Her voice was so small. She sounded almost like she was five miles away from him, and he wondered if maybe she actually wasn't. She was probably mentally in Point Place General Hospital, wondering what it would be like, fearing what would happen, imagining all sorts of horrible scenarios.

Just like he was.

His cleared his thick throat. "Well, it'll all be over soon."

Jackie lifted her head and looked at him. His eyes met hers, and instantly, she could see he was thinking the same thing she was.

_It could ALL be over. Soon. Everything. Them. Her. Her life. _

Soreness drew wet cloaks over her eyes, and she had to close her lids to hold back. A tiny kiss pecked her nose, and she opened her eyes. Steven was staring at her, trying to smile, and she tried to as well. She failed. Her face collapsed, and again her lids shuttered. Sobs began a soft wrack of her chest.

Hyde sighed. He needed to distract her. Somehow. And the best way was probably to offer her a present. Jackie liked presents. She lived for presents.

_God. She lived…she has to live. She has to live. _

Best way, hell. It was all he could think of. And it wasn't like he had the power to make her head feel better, although he would if he did.

"Uh, hey, Jackie, I actually did get you a present."

Jackie raised a smile, and she forgot the tears hovering on the lower ridges of her eyes. "Really?"

He lifted his shoulders. "Yeah, well, you would have killed me if I didn't."

"Steven, no I wouldn't have."

A grin played on his lips. "Right, Jackie."

She giggled. "Well, maybe I would have maimed you a little bit."

He unwound his arm and took her hand. "Come on, dollface, its in my room."

He led her to his room, then pointed to his cot. "Sit down."

She did, and watched him rummage around. Her stomach suddenly felt a weird mix of nervous and excited, a sensuous kind of anticipation that inspired goosebumbs on her arms. It was almost arousing. Steven giving her a gift! And she knew it wouldn't be just something he found on the street, like a few of the necklaces Michael had pawned off on her years back. This would mean something more than that. Like the Led Zeppelin tee shirt. That had marked her as his. She wondered what this one would mean.

He handed her a rectangular box wrapped in purple paper topped with a pink bow. It was about the length and width of a checkbook, but a several inches thicker. Too thick to be a jewelry box, she thought with a pang of disappointment. "And…this is something I can use in the hospital?"

He nodded and sat down next to her. "Yeah. Now look, Jackie. This isn't anything much, and it doesn't mean anything much. I just had to get you something, and I wasn't gonna be a wuss like Fez and buy a stupid stuffed animal." He grinned. "Plus it was cheap." His eyes narrowed. "Just don't get all sappy or anything about it, because it's not a big deal."

His words sounded firm, but the way his eyes kept darting between hers and the present, Jackie knew that he was lying. That it meant a _lot_. Even to him. She smiled patronizingly. "Okay, Steven." Lightly biting her lip, she tore the paper off and opened what appeared to be a case for glasses.

The world seemed to stop, and her breath became tightly coiled in her chest. Her heart seemed to disappear, replaced by a warm, fluid motion inside. "Oh my god…" Her fingers shook like there was a major earthquake taking place in her hands.

He swallowed hard, and with it, his pride and defensiveness. Hell, she deserved to know why. "I uh…well, I mean, I'm probably not gonna be able to be with you all the time in the hospital, and I figured maybe you'd want to have…" He shook his head. Damn, this was corny as hell! How in the hell did Forman do this kind of crap all the time?

Jackie looked up at her boyfriend, and the tears in her eyes this time didn't bother her. In fact, they felt welcome, soft and happy, just like the liquid where her heart used to be. "Something that reminds me of you?" she whispered, her voice breaking. She looked back down at her gift, and nearly swallowed her lower lip she was so overcome with emotion.

He'd given her his sunglasses. The sunglasses he hated to be without. The sunglasses he'd sleep in if he didn't fear he'd break them. The sunglasses he'd beaten up a kid who'd swiped them off his face in an effort to appear tough.

"Your sunglasses, Steven." She gasped and looked up at him, a tear or two meandering silkily down her cheek. "Steven, these are like your eyes. You're giving them to me so that even when you're not with me, you can watch over me." She covered her chest with her hand. "So I can feel you with me. You want me to have part of you with me all the time."

Hyde rolled his eyes, but only slightly. And his voice shook. "Whatever, Jackie."

She was right. Completely right.

She smiled. "Oh, Steven…"

"Well, like I said, don't get too excited. You're giving them back as soon as you get out of the hospital." He grinned uncomfortably. "As soon as they put you in the wheelchair to wheel you to the exit you're giving them back."

Her tears increased, and she lightly caressed the frame of the glasses with her fingertips. "Steven," she whispered. "I just…I don't…" She looked up at him again. "Steven, your sunglasses are so important to you."

He didn't say anything, at least not verbally. He just stared into her eyes, for once not fighting the intimacy, not trying to hide from her. His eyes, normally blockaded by those glasses, almost seem to sing to hers.

_I can't always say it, Jackie, but I love you. And this…this is my way of showing you that. I want to be there for you. I want to protect you. And I'm always gonna be with you, because I'm always gonna love you. Even after they shave your head and cut it open. Even if anything. I'm always gonna love you. _

And she knew in that moment that somehow, she'd become the most important thing in his life. Just as he'd become the most important thing in her life.

She put the precious gift down on the cot on the opposite side of her from Steven and threw herself at him. Her arms snaked around his neck and pulled him to her, and her head naturally burrowed in the crock of his warm and masculine-scented neck. Her tears rushed fast and furiously down her face, just as her love for him did through her entire body. "Oh my god, Steven!"

He'd given her his sunglasses, what he used to hide himself, to protect himself. He'd metaphorically given her the walls he'd built up around himself. He'd let her inside of him.

He'd given her, finally, honestly and truly, his heart.

She pulled back and looked up at him. He was trying desperately to be Zen, she could see how his jaw was straining, his eyelids were flickering, but when she smiled, the Zen collapsed. "Steven, I love you so much," she murmured. "I just... Steven, I love you!"

She catapulted back into his arms before he could respond, and for a long moment, he just held her. His precious chick, his beautiful dollface. The girl he knew, after everything they'd been through, he was going to love for the rest of his life.

Hyde turned his face into her head, inhaling the always sweet fragrance of her velvety hair.

"God, I love you, Jackie," he whispered gruffly.

_Lord, I love her. Remember that. _

_Please don't take her away from me. _

_Please. _


	18. You Have Us

**Disclaimer: **I don't own.

**Author's Note:** Thanks so much for your reviews! I hope you enjoyed Hyde's present for Jackie. I liked it. :)

**Warning: **Mild language,and a...well, a bit of a racy spot.:giggle: So this chapter is Rish.

Convincing

Chapter 18 – You Have Us

The blue of Steven's eyes was clearer than she'd ever seen them before, the same shade as the lake in Minnesota her parents used to take her to. She remembered that water was warm and smooth on her skin, like sunbathed silk. And as he looked down at her, only the corners of his lips turned up, she felt that same almost ethereal sensation. "So." She spoke shyly, hopefully. "Am I going to get to see your eyes the whole time I'm in the hospital?"

Hyde shook his head. He should have known better than to give her his sunglasses. He was going to get nothing but grief. Then again, he'd always remember the look on her face when she'd realized what he'd given her. And maybe that would make it worth it. But still. He wasn't Forman. He wasn't. "Hell no. I'm gonna buy a new pair." He reached out and put his hand on her knee. He had to touch her. Had to. As much as he could. Because who knew how much more he'd get to…

_NO! _

Jackie giggled. "Steven." She twisted around and picked up the glasses. Turning back to face Steven, she smiled mistily as she traced again the frames. Her smile faded. Why was she thinking about her parents? Why was she remembering how often they'd given her presents to make up for not being there for her?

_Maybe because they aren't here now. Neither one of them have even called. _

_And neither had even sent any presents. _

She'd learned a long time ago that presents were nice. That presents were what she should always seek, because it was the only way to express love. That's what her parents had taught her.

But now…now she knew otherwise. Presents, at least given in the manner her parents had, were nothing more than shortcuts. Lazy shortcuts. Substitues for real love.

Steven hardly ever gave her presents. But when he did…it was never to substitute for anything. Never.

Her fingertip slipped round and round the metal of the sunglasses she knew as well as her own name. "I used to think that I wanted you to give me jewelry." She smiled wryly and met her boyfriend's eyes. "Shiny stuff. Every single day."

Hyde chuckled silently. Shiny stuff. "Well, hey, the glasses are shiny in the sun."

She nodded, but didn't smile, and he wondered what was going on in her head. She was so…serious. So contemplative. Not something he saw everyday in his chick. "Dollface?"

"Did you know that the last birthday party my parents had for me was when I was five? After that, my dad was always gone on business, and my mom was always busy at the country club."

Hyde squeezed her knee. Her voice was blank. Numb. A bitter sort of accepting that didn't quite mask the little girl who had been so neglected by parents who equated money with love.

"They bought me stuff all the time, though, expensive stuff." A fleeting smile. "Shiny stuff." Her eyes remained on the glasses. "I used to think it meant they loved me." She shook her head, and her shoulders tightened until they trembled. "Now I know that…they…don't…"

The wrinkle in her forehead made Hyde ache. His chest burned. Tore. He knew what she was trying to say. All too well.

She knew her parents didn't really love her.

His hand slipped from her knee to her thigh. "Jackie…" Her teary eyes shot up to meet his, and he trailed off.

"But these glasses…Steven, when we first got together, I thought that you didn't really love me because you weren't giving me stuff all the time. And for a long time I doubted..." She smiled and laughed, with a touch of the hysteria that always partners sudden realization, and looked back at the precious glasses in her hand. "But I'm never gonna doubt you again, Steven, because I know you didn't give me these glasses to make up for something." She tried desperately to hold in the tears that wanted to rush out of her eyes. "You gave them to me to show me how much you love me."

The part of him that was so petrified of being close to anyone begged him to go Zen. Protect himself. Not reveal anything to her. Nothing at all.

_Remember, she's probably gonna die and leave you just like everyone else does. She's no different. She's just leaving in a different way. _

But the part of him that she stirred in him was stronger. The man he saw when he looked in her eyes (although most of the time, he wasn't sure where she got her ideas of who he was) won. At least for a moment.

"Yeah, I did," he whispered.

Her smile, and the fact that he could feel her inside of him…it scared him. Because he was going to lose her. He knew it in his bones.

He took his hand away from her and straightened his shoulders, clearing his throat rather loudly. "Just, uh…just remember, Jackie, that the glasses are a temporary thing, alright? You're giving 'em back as soon as they put you in that wheelchair." She smiled, and he tried to sound firm. "I mean it."

Jackie reached out and grabbed his retreating hand. She knew better. He forgot that she could see his eyes, and when she could see his eyes, she could see all of him. Even the parts he wanted to hide. "Right, honey," she murmured with a tiny smile.

After a moment, Jackie let go of his hand and picked up the glasses. Giving him a flirtatious smile, she put them on, and struck what she hoped was a sexy pose for him. "So…what do you think?"

He smirked. Damn. Why had he never thought of trying this before? She looked frickin' hot in his glasses. "Hmm…kind of like it." He cocked his head and studied her some more. She tossed her hair in that inimitable way she had and slowly ran her tongue over her lips. And the fact that he couldn't see her eyes while she was doing this only made her more enticing. His stomach began to open up with heat. "Uh, yeah. It really turns me on." His smirk turned wicked as a very nice image came to mind. "You know, you put on my Led Zeppelin tee shirt, those glasses and nothing else, I'd be…well, I'd be very…._happy_."

Jackie giggled sexily. "And friendly, too, I bet, huh?"

"Almost as much as I would be if you were naked." His eyes caressed her, up and down, and his wanting for her groaned in his belly and spread through him like wildfire. He inched towards her and put his hand high and in on her thigh. "Which, by the way, is something I've really missed seeing." He leaned in towards her and placed a long, open mouth kiss, accented by a gentle flick of his tongue, against her sweet-tasting neck. "And touching."

Her eyes closed, and her neck arched back. She prayed for more kisses, and he obliged, gliding his slick lips up and down, then side to side, making a chair around the front of her neck. She grasped his shoulders lightly. "Steven…I…oh…"

It felt so good. So good! His hands slid up her sides, his fingers brushing the sides of her breasts, and she couldn't restrain her pleasure, releasing it in a soft moan. She fell to the cot, urged along by Steven's hovering body, and as his feeding mouth drew closer to hers, her heart began to drum almost painfully fast in her chest. "Steven…"

She was nearly begging. Her body felt swollen and literally hungered for his hands to be on her.

Finally his lips covered hers, and she returned the kiss eagerly, lightly gnawing on his. Her arms wrapped around his waist and clung tightly. His back was so strong, so taut and shaped, and her hands couldn't help but wander as restlessly as her body moved under his, trying to get more of him. More. More.

_Don't leave, Steven. Don't ever…ever…ever leave. _

She spread her legs out and at once, the safety and passion of his form melting into her from head to toe made her mind spiral towards heaven.

The kisses burned, and both were panting when Hyde drew back. His hand was halfway up his dollface's shirt, his fingertips digging into her tight stomach. "Jackie," he breathed on her. Her socked feet were on his calves, rubbing suggestions that went directly to the most immediate ache in his body.

But she'd had such a headache, and he didn't know if she felt okay enough to do this.

"Baby…are you…?"

"Steven," her voice was so breathy as to be almost flimsy. "I'm fine." She cupped his face in her hands. The scratch of his beard only exacerbated the pining her body was suffering from, and she moaned. Her hips arched up, and he smiled before pressing down to her. A shot of ecstasy rocketed up the middle of her. "Oh…Steven, I want to…"

"Steven? Jackie?"

The unwanted and rather sheepish voice made Hyde jump off of Jackie and off the bed, as if they were still children and had been caught doing something naughty. He swallowed hard and prayed that Mrs. Forman would be too distracted by whatever she had come down to tell them to notice the uncomfortably tight fit of his jeans at the fly. "Uh…Mrs. Forman….we were just….hi."

Kitty tried to smile, but she couldn't erase the worry from her eyes. "I'm sorry to…well…interrupt." She giggled nervously, but the smile immediately disappeared. Her eyes moved to Jackie, who was now sitting on the bed and pursing her lips. "Jackie, I need you to come upstairs. Your…your mom's on the phone and she wants to talk to you."

Hyde watched his dollface jump to her feet, her expression change almost instantly to one of that little five year old girl she'd been at her last birthday party. And the ache in his own body became less sexual and more angry. Because he knew what was coming. From Jackie, and from Jackie's mom.

"Oh! Maybe she's gonna tell me she's coming home for the surgery!"

The smile she flashed at him on her way out the door only made Hyde more angry, and he balled his hands into fists. Despite everything, Jackie still hoped for her parent's love and attention. She still thought it was possible. She still craved it. Even years of being essentially without them hadn't cured her of that. She wasn't like him. She wasn't able to shut it down. Probably never would be.

But her parents always let her down, and Hyde knew it would be the same thing this time.

A few minutes later, Hyde sat on the Forman's living room couch, next to Donna. Eric was on her right side, Red was in his normal chair and Kitty was pacing nervously around the room. They were all quiet, until Donna spoke.

"Her mom has to come back for the surgery. I mean, even Pam can't be so dumb that she doesn't understand how serious this is or how much Jackie needs her." She looked at Eric. "Right?"

No one answered. Everyone knew the answer, but no one wanted to actually give voice to it.

The door that separated the kitchen and living room creaked and opened slowly. All eyes focused on Jackie as she stepped through into the room.

Normally, all the attention would have thrilled her. Now, it only made her feel sick. She tried to smile, tried to hide the tears looming in her eyes, tried to breathe. Tried to justify….tried to forget. "Uh…she uh…" Her shoulders shrugged. "She's not gonna be able to make it."

That's exactly what her mother had said. _"I just won't be able to make it, Jackie. So much is going on down here…I can't afford to miss any of it. I would be able to come in a few weeks. Or…a month. Do you think you could reschedule?" _

Make it. Like she was going to miss a party or get together. Not a surgery that could very well kill her daughter. Reschedule. Like it was just a nose job or something.

And she hadn't even sounded sad about it. At least not sincerely sad. She'd used that same phony regretful voice she always used. This time wasn't any different. It wasn't ANY different to her mother. Her _mother_.

Her lips trembled, and all her efforts into putting on a brave face collapsed. She was just too tired to do it. "She…she's not coming."

Kitty rushed to Jackie as she broke down and drew the sobbing girl into her arms. "Oh, sweetie," she whispered, running a hand well practiced in giving maternal comfort up and down Jackie's back.

Hyde's fists tightened on his knees. Bitch. Stupid, stupid bitch. Can't even come home for your daughter's surgery. Couldn't care less that you might never see your daughter again.

_Couldn't care less. _

_You stupid, stupid bitch! _

He stood up, and breathing hard, left the living room.

Eric watched him go and frowned. "Where's he going?" he whispered to Donna. She shrugged, but said nothing.

Kitty held Jackie close. "Sweetie, I know this isn't the same, but I want you to know something." She pulled slightly away and smiled tenderly, even though the tears on Jackie's face and the hurt in her eyes broke her own heart to pieces. "I know I'm not your real mom, but…" She brushed Jackie's damp cheek. "I think of you as my own daughter. And I love you as my own daughter." She planted a kiss on the flushed forehead. "I really do." She glanced over at Red. "Red and I both do, don't we Red?"

Red rolled his eyes, but when Jackie looked at him, he stopped. He stood and walked to her, and Kitty let go of her. He took her shoulders. "Jackie, you're a pain in my ass, just like the rest of them. Maybe not as bad as some of them. At least you can be helpful around a car." He shook his head angrily. "Your floozy of a mother should be…" He sighed, and smiled as gently as he could. His voice softened. "But whatever we can do for you, we will, okay?" He grimaced when Jackie threw her arms around him, but then returned her hug. This poor girl. Petrified, and facing death. And her lousy parents gave nothing to her, at least nothing real. They'd never prepared her for anything like this.

Hyde stalked back into the room and stopped near the couch, watching as Red hugged his dollface.

Kitty smiled as Red and Jackie broke apart. "Now, come on Red. Lets go order a pizza, and Jackie, we'll have dinner in front of the television. We can watch whatever you want, okay?"

Red frowned. "Why do I have to order the pizza?"

Kitty glared at him. "Because I am too upset to talk to strangers, Red, now come on!" She grabbed his arm and led him to the kitchen.

Hyde walked over to Jackie. "Here. Brought you something. Look at me." She did, and he put the sunglasses on her. He smiled. "There you go."

Jackie giggled and frantically wiped tears from her cheeks. "Still sexy?" She hiccupped.

He nodded. "Still sexy."

Eric and Donna exchanged startled glances. "You…you're letting Jackie wear your sunglasses?" Eric's voice cracked. This was something he never dreamed he'd see.

Hyde shrugged but kept his eyes on Jackie. He brushed some strands of hair away from her face. "I gave 'em to her."

The couple on the couch stared at him in shock.

He looked over at them and scowled. "What?"

Donna shook her head. "Nothing!" She smiled as Hyde led Jackie over to Red's chair, sat down and pulled her down into his lap. "Eric," she said, turning towards him and speaking quietly. "He GAVE her his sunglasses!"

Eric nodded. "I know." He looked at Donna. "Hey, isn't this how the apocalypse is supposed to start?" He grinned when she swatted at him.

Jackie sighed and tried to keep control of the tears she still felt like crying. She played with the back of Steven's hair, and for once, he didn't pretend that it bothered him. "Well, I guess its official. I have no family."

Hyde shrugged. "You're better off. Family is overrated. Just think. You'll never have to go to those stupid, uncomfortable family reunions where everyone gets drunk and windows get broken." He grinned. "Although, I gotta say, those can be kind of fun."

Donna rolled her eyes at Hyde, then leaned forward to talk to Jackie. "Jackie, you do too have family. It may not be biological, but…" She smiled. "You have us. We're your family. Us, Red, Kitty, Kelso, Fez. Hell, you know my dad loves you."

Jackie smiled, and the pain inside started to ease. It wasn't going to go away; it probably never would. She'd always have a void. And yet, she DID have people who cared about her. She pushed the sunglasses down her nose so her eyes were visible and looked at Eric teasingly. "What about you, Eric?"

He grinned. "Oh, hell, Jackie, if I say no, Donna will kill me." Donna elbowed him, and he made a face. "See?" But his smile faded, and he looked at her sincerely. "Seriously, Jackie, whatever I can do….I mean it. I'm here."

Jackie's lower lip quivered. "Thanks," was all she could manage in her suddenly choked throat.

"I mean, I can honestly say that I can't imagine my life without you Jackie." Eric's eyes danced. "It would be like Heaven not having a Hell." He glanced at Donna. "For the record, I'm heaven, she's hell."

Jackie laughed, and the others did too. When they were done, Jackie's smile remained, although small. She leaned her head on Steven's, and the touch of his hands on her back reassured her. Made her feel stronger. "I guess I'm not alone after all." She lifted her head and smiled sweetly down at Steven. "What about you, Steven? Do I have you?"

He didn't answer her, but reached up and tapped the sunglasses she wore.

She smiled and leaned down to kiss him, but after the kiss ended, the tears were back, and she allowed him to guide her head to his shoulder.

Her mother wasn't coming. Her mother cared more about getting drunk and spending nights in rich men's beds than her. Her mother didn't even care if she lived or died. She might even be happier if she died. She might even be praying that she died.

_My mommy doesn't love me. _

"Jackie." His whisper was gruff in her ear.

"What?"

His hands tightened on her back and held her closer.

_My mommy doesn't love me! _

"I really hate your mother."

She half-laughed, half cried.

"I hate her too. God…Steven, I hate her so much!"

_Steven, my mommy doesn't love me! _

She sobbed in his arms, and he rocked her slightly.

And no one said anything more.


	19. I Want Normal

**Disclaimer: **I don't own.

**Author's Note:** As always, thanks so much for reading and for the reviews! I love them.Our favorite couple isn't in this chapter...sigh...but it ties up (almost completely...one more little part to add later) a subplot. The next chapter will be exclusively J/H. Yay! I'm thinking that after this chapter there will be three left. Enjoy!

**Warning: **Mild language

Convincing

Chapter 19 – I Want Normal

_The Forman driveway _

Donna traced a line on the Vista Cruiser's hood and watched her finger moving. Funny. Her mother had once told her that when she was a baby, all she wanted to do was watch her movements, a wave of her tiny palm, or a flicker of a small, plump finger, a gurgle of her little lips. She wondered if Jackie's mother had ever watched Jackie that way. Her finger pressed into the metal harder. She couldn't have. She couldn't have, otherwise how could she have told her only daughter that she "couldn't make it" to her brain surgery?

"Hey, you want a beer? I'll go sneak a couple of Red's." Eric looked at Donna uncomfortably. She was so quiet. She was so tense. She was tracing on the car. All of which meant that she was angry. He didn't like it when she was angry. Made him nervous, made him say stupid things, made her more angry. And that usually deprived him of any sort of loving whatsoever.

"No." Donna flipped her head towards Eric and glared at him. "I mean, how can she do that? How can she just stay in Puerto Rico or Puerto Vaerta or wherever the hell she is when her daughter is having BRAIN surgery?"

Eric sighed in relief that she wasn't angry at him, but still. He wasn't sure he was prepared to have this conversation. Beer might help. He scooted to the edge of the Cruiser. "Yeah, I think we better have some beers. I'll just…"

Donna gripped his arm. "Eric,no. I just…" She shook her head and looked up at the sky. "I mean, did you see the look on Jackie's face?"

He resigned himself and squeezed his girl's hand. "Yeah." He looked up at the sky. Full of stars tonight. Beautiful. Normally, at least. Now, it seemed to him that the stars were mocking. They reminded him of how the tears on Jackie's cheeks had almost sparkled. All through dinner, one or two was always present. "God, why do people have kids? If they're just going to treat them like shit…why do they bother?"

Donna nodded, and like Eric, looked up at the stars. She thought about how she and her mother used to sit in the backyard and stargaze. Her mother had told her stories, mostly fairy tales that were always slightly different than tradition. She was lucky. Her mother had left, true, but she'd always stayed close. Phone calls, letters, cards, visits, genuine interest in her.

Jackie had none of that from her mother. Or her father. Jackie, the girl who seemingly had everything, had never had anything that really mattered.

"You know, as much as Red gets on my ass, I mean, I've always known that if I really needed him, he'd be there." He met Donna's eyes. "We're lucky, you know?"

Donna nodded and moved closer to Eric. She lay her head on his shoulder and put a hand on his thigh. Thin and not exactly muscular, but firm and warm. Like him. Firm and warm and safe. Her rock. "I know." Her eyes closed. She wanted to call her mother and tell her that she loved her. Hear her mother tell _her_ that she loved her. "We have to be there for Jackie, Eric. No matter what."

Eric put his arm around her and gently rubbed her silky hair. Red again. He was glad. Blonde was hot, but red…red was Donna. "I know." The look on Jackie's face was still in his mind, that twisting tornado of unwanted tears, of a pain that wasn't anything new and yet dreaded and perpetually prayed against. "I guess I never thought about how it made her feel, her parents being gone. I never realized…"

Donna smiled. "You never realized she had feelings."

"Well, I've always thought that the Devil was immune to just about everything short of the wrath of God. And with Jackie, I even wondered about that."

She raised her head, but found only a small smile on Eric's lips, one of those wry ones that told her he was teasing.

He always teased Jackie. They all teased each other. Sometimes in pretty damn mean ways. And yet…they always knew that it wasn't real. That it was just covering up everything they were all too cool, or too scared, or too embarrassed to say.

They were best friends. They relied on one another. They needed one another. And without one another, even just without one of them…

Tears burst in her eyes, and she pulled away from Eric. She slid down the Cruiser and stood in front of it, facing the love of her life and showing him what he was the only one she could show. "I don't want this, Eric! God! I want it to be normal again! I want…I want….God, Eric, I just want Jackie to be okay!"

He got off the car and went to her, putting his arms around her and holding her as tightly as he could. He said nothing. There wasn't anything he could say. He wanted the same thing, but she knew that. She knew that.

"Hey guys. If you're gonna do it, I recommend heading over to Fez's place. He's out of magazines and candy and he needs some entertainment."

Eric and Donna parted slightly and found Kelso smirking at them, his eyebrows waggling high on his forehead. Donna rolled her eyes, and Eric smiled sarcastically. "Thanks, man. We really needed the advice."

Kelso's smirk fell, and he looked serious. "Hey, have you seen Jackie? I need to talk to her." He looked at the ground. "I _really_ need to talk to her.

Donna shook her head. "Kelso…"

He glared at her warning tone. "Look, Donna, she's wrong, okay? I know she said she and Hyde are just like her eyes or whatever, but that doesn't even make sense. How can people be like eyes? And I know that she and I do make sense.I mean, we're practically the same person!" He grinned and leaned in as if to share a secret. "Although I'm better looking. Don't tell her that, though."

Eric elbowed Donna's side softly. "Well, this is certainly normal."

She shook her head, irritated. This was NOT the normal she wanted. She was sick as hell of this, and if she felt that way, she could only imagine who Hyde felt about it. And lately, it seemed to be bothering Jackie, as well. "Look, Kelso, now is not a good time. She's with Hyde, and…"

"But that's just it, Donna." Kelso began to pace. "She shouldn't be with Hyde! She should be with me!"

Eric bit his lower lip. "Kelso, face it. She's with Hyde. She loves Hyde. Not you. Okay?"

"But he doesn't love her!" Kelso took a deep breath. "I mean, yeah, I know he thinks she's hot otherwise he wouldn't make out with her all the time. I'll say this for Hyde, he has good taste in women. Like his hot stripper wife. But still."

Donna and Eric were a bit startled by the plea in his voice, and the sincerity of his expression. He looked honest.

"I know you think I'm being selfish for going after her. But I just hate to see her all…mopey the way she has been lately. That's why I'm doin' this. I want her to be happy. Hyde didn't even give her a present. How can he love her if he didn't even get her a present? Jackie loves presents."

Donna's lips curved upwards. "He did give her a present."

Eric nodded, with the same slight smile Donna wore. "He gave her his sunglasses."

Kelso looked confused. "His sunglasses? I don't get it. Why would he give her his sunglasses?"

Donna thought quickly. How could she explain this to Kelso so it made sense. She stepped towards him. "Okay, look. What's the most important thing that you have, Kelso? What would you absolutely die without?"

He made a face, like she was dumb. "My looks, of course. God, Donna, you're supposed to be smart!"

She ignored that. "And…what's the most important thing to Hyde? What would HE die without? What does he flip out about when he thinks he's lost?"

Kelso shrugged. "His sunglasses. Or his fists. No. No, his sunglasses. He's practically married to them."

"So, would you agree that the way you feel about your looks is the way Hyde feels about his sunglasses?"

Kelso nodded. "Yeah. Except I don't know why he loves those stupid glasses so much. I'm MUCH better looking then they are." His brow furrowed. "Eric, what's Donna's point?"

Eric sighed. Thick didn't even come close to describing Kelso's brainpower or more accurately, lack thereof. "Okay. So say you had to give something to Jackie. Something to show her that you loved her. What would you give her?"

"Well, duh, a bunch of stuffed unicorns! Those are her favorite, man. No wait." His voice rose in excitement. "I'd get her a REAL unicorn! I saw one once, you know. A pink one. I'd get her a real, pink unicorn! She'd go crazy over a real, pink unicorn!"

Donna raised an eyebrow. "You wouldn't give her your looks? Even if it was the only thing that would convince her of your love for her?"

He gave her a strange look. "Hell, no, Donna! What is she gonna do with my looks? Damn!"

Eric smiled. "Fine. You wouldn't give her your looks. But here's the thing. Hyde DID give her his sunglasses."

Kelso stared at Eric, then his eyes moved to Donna, back to Eric, to Donna, to Eric, as he struggled to figure out what they meant.

"Kelso, Hyde gave her the most important thing to him. Whereas you said, "hell no." Do you understand what I'm saying?"

And Donna could have sworn she saw one of those lightbulbs over Kelso's head the moment he realized what she and Eric were trying to show him. His entire body stiffened, and his shoulders slumped somewhat.

"God…he gave her his sunglasses? He beat up that kid for stealing 'em. And whenever I ask to wear 'em he says no and then frogs me!" He began to pace again, but it was a brief walk. He stopped and looked at the couple. "So…god, he really does love her. I mean, I never thought I'd see then day when he actually willingly gave those sunglasses away to anyone. He said he was even gonna be buried with them." His eyes were mixed with odd tones of relief and disappointment. He looked at Eric. "He must really love her, huh?"

Eric nodded. "I'm afraid so, buddy."

Donna cocked her head. "So…you gonna leave them alone and stop trying to interfere?"

He nodded. "I just….I guess I don't really want her want her….I mean, come on, you know Jackie is hell to be around for longer than three seconds." He shrugged. "I just don't know what else to do. You guys think I don't get what's going on with Jackie, but I do. I just…I don't know, maybe it's stupid, but I thought…I thought it would be easier for her if I hit on her. 'Cause she used to like it when I did. She used to like it when I fawned all over her and gave her stuff. I'm no good at other stuff, you know, the serious crap that Hyde has to deal with." His eyes met Eric's, then Donna's. "It's all I know how to do to make her happy." He looked down at the ground. "I just thought her being happy would help."

Both Donna and Eric were astonished by what Kelso had just confessed. They'd both believed he had no clue.

They'd both apparently been wrong, because what he'd just said made perfect sense.

Funny how impending loss affected everyone, even the most seemingly oblivious. Funny how sickness changed so much.

Funny how just the idea of death changed life.

"Do you think I could just be her friend and still help? 'Cause, man, I just remembered how Jackie looks when she's sick." He made a face. "It is NOT pretty. I'm talking Bride of Frankenstein! And no pink robe is gonna be enough to fix THAT!"

Donna laughed, and Eric chuckled, both amused but also reassured. Kelso was still Kelso. Too much else was going on; if he suddenly became wise, Donna thought, she just might believe in Eric's suggestion of the impending apocalypse. She moved to Kelso and put an arm around him. "Yeah, Kelso, I think you can be just her friend and still help." She shrugged. "In fact, I think she'd really like that."

_Hyde might be another story, but Jackie can deal with him. Hopefully. _

Eric nodded. "Yeah, and I recommend starting with not buying her anymore nighties."

Kelso bobbed his head up and down, his eyes widening. "I know, man! Did you see the look on Hyde's face? Man, I never really noticed since he's always wearing those sunglasses, but his eyes should be registered as lethal weapons. Like lasers or something."

Eric sighed in relief. "God, I'm glad I'm not the only one who sees it!" He grinned. "Personally, I think they're more like light sabers."

Donna rolled her eyes. "Come on, you big babies. Lets go to the Hub. I'm starving."

"Lets get Fez, first. I think he's ate all his candy, and I don't wanna find him passed out on the coffee table again."

They laughed and headed out.

And Donna felt a tiny sense of relief. They'd go to the Hub, they'd call Hyde and tell him to bring Jackie down. They'd hang out, eat, burn each other, burn other people, argue about the music, eat more, burn each other more. Fez would gaze longingly at women he could never get. Kelso would taunt him by flirting with them and securing their phone numbers. Eric would tell endless and rather unfunny Star Wars jokes. Jackie would drive Hyde crazy by demanding he play some sappy love song on the juke box for her.

Just for a couple hours, maybe it could just be normal. Just for a few, blessed hours.

Or even just for a few, blessed minutes. Even that would be enough.


	20. I Can Hear Your Heart

**Disclaimer:** I don't own.

**Author's Note: **This chapter got a little bit smutty. Sorry. :giggle: I didn't mean for it to, but it just did.Anyway! Hope you enjoy. Thank you so much for reading and reviewing! I really appreciate it. :)

**Warning:** R/NC17ish. Not terribly graphic, but still. A bit smutty. So be forewarned. And mild language.

Convincing

Chapter 20 – I Can Hear Your Heart

Th-thump. Th-thump. Th-thump.

When they'd first laid down on Steven's cot, and she'd settled her head on his chest, the cadence of his heartbeat echoed the throbbing in Jackie's temple. But slowly, as his hands drew long and languid lines up and down her spine, as his mere presence around her comforted her, the throbbing ended. And now she listened to his heartbeat. Now she felt his heartbeat inside of her. It soothed her. Made her feel like a part of him. Much less alone.

The sound of his life, right in her hears, vibrating into her body. It was so beautiful.

"I remember my third grade teacher telling me that she'd put a ticking clock near where her puppy slept. She told me that it was to simulate the puppy's mother's heartbeat so the puppy could hear it."

Hyde stared at the ceiling and wished she'd shut up. "Mm-hmm." He didn't want to talk. He just wanted to lay here, with her cuddled up to him the way she was, her head on his chest, one of her arms underneath him, the other resting on his stomach and hip. One of her legs was thrown over his, and her foot, in a sweet and decidedly non-sexual manner slid up and down his. First the back of her foot, then the front of her toes. Back of her foot, the front of her toes. His free hand reached for the tiny one now on his stomach, and covered it, pressing it into him. He wanted to feel her touch. Not talk, not anything. Just to feel her touch.

_I might not always be able to. Not after she di…_

He squeezed his eyes closed. Damn it, no!

"I guess it was supposed to sooth the puppy."

She paused, and he rolled his eyes. "Mm-hmm." He loved her, almost desperately at times, but sometimes the fact that she would not shut up made him feel the beginning pangs of insanity.

"I can hear your heart, Steven."

He frowned as an odd fact struck him. She'd lain with her head on his chest millions of times, and had commented equally as much that she could hear his heart beating. He'd never heard hers beat. Oh, he'd felt it; under his fingertips, his palm, even his lips. All, of course, while coaxing her into the mood he wanted her in. But he'd never simply listened to it. Of course, it really was such an incredibly girly thing to do.

He wanted to hear it. Her life. He wanted to hear it, so maybe while she was unconscious with her head cut open, he could remember the sound.

Hyde gently rubbed her shoulder. "Hey Jackie?"

"Hmmm?"

She sounded sleepy.

"I wanna…" He cleared his throat. Damn. This was something Forman would do. Hell, he probably HAD done it. He rolled his eyes.

"You wanna what, Steven?" He didn't answer, and Jackie sat up. She looked down at him, and the way his jaw was tensed made her smile. Meant he wanted to do something sweet that he thought was too "girly" for his big macho self. His eyes met hers for a split second, and instantly, she knew what he wanted. "Oh…you wanna listen to my heart beating, don't you, Puddin' pop?"

He stared at the ceiling and didn't say anything. Hell, she knew the answer anyway.

She giggled and lay back down. "Steven. Steven, look at me." He did, and she smiled softly. She patted her chest. "Come here."

He waited a moment. Girly thing. Girly, Forman thing.

Aw, screw it.

Hyde rolled over and put his head down on her, his ear on the firmness of her sternum. And just so that he didn't completely feel like a fawning female, he covered her left breast with his right hand.

Yeah. This was just an excuse to feel her up. Not that he needed one. Jackie had a real thing about having her breasts touched. But still. It was his excuse. See? He was no Forman. No girl. He just wanted to feel her up.

Th-thump. Th-thump. Th-thump.

His eyes closed. Her life. He heard it, and felt its tiny pulses against his ear. Right now she was alive. Right NOW she was alive.

_God, please let me remember how this sounds. And feels. Just in case she…_

His face contorted. Damn it, NO!

Jackie smiled and closed her eyes. His touch was so good. SO good. There was absolutely nothing better than feeling his hands on her. His fingers gently rubbed her breast, and she sighed, her mouth opening slightly. Such pleasure. She buried her right hand in his mop of hair and gently scratched his scalp.

But she couldn't stay quiet. She couldn't. She wanted to talk. For him to talk. To hear his voice.

_I might not be able to. Not after I…_

"So is it like that for you, Steven? I mean, like the clock for the puppy."

Hyde pursed his lips and grunted softly in response. _God, don't talk, Jackie. For once, just don't talk. I just want to feel you. Don't talk. _

He didn't answer, and Jackie sighed. He didn't want to talk.

She lay still, her body enjoying feeling him resting on her this way, for the first time ever, she thought. But her mind began to wander. Only a day and a half left before her surgery. She could die. She might die. And in the deepest part of her, she thought she probably would die. That was her luck. She and Steven were too happy. Something had to go wrong.

What would he do if she did die? Would he cry? Would he want to die, too?

Would he find someone else? Would he forget her? Would he be relieved?

What would her friends do? Would they care? Would they just continue on like she'd never been a part of their lives?

_Was_ she a part of their lives? Did they care now?

And what about her mother? Her father?

_I want my mommy. _

"Steven?"

He sighed impatiently, but the note of little girl in her voice forced him to not just ignore her. "What?" He felt her body shudder a bit underneath him, and his fingers stroked her breast, hoping to calm her.

"Do you think my mother would come if she thought it was for my funeral?"

For a moment, he didn't move. Too shocked by what she'd said, the implication. And then his body shot up, off of her, off of the bed. He stared at her, and blinding rage made her blurry. Just the thought of her funeral…of her dying…

And was she saying that she wanted him to call her mother and tell her she was dead? It wasn't the lying to her mother part that made his insides curdle with fury. No. Hell, Pam probably wouldn't give a damn, or shed even one single tear, the stupid bitch.

But did she expect him to actually speak those words? To say that she was…that she was…

He yelled at her.

"Shut the hell up, Jackie! God, you're talking about pretending that you're…that you're….That's just sick!"

Jackie sat up, her lips trembling, her eyes overflowing. She felt his anger, and she understood, she did, but couldn't _he_ understand? Hadn't he ever felt the longing she was, to be little again, and cared for? To be her mommy's baby, if only for just a few fleeting, even faked moments? "I just…Steven, I just want her to be here!" And like that little girl she wanted to be again, she threw herself back down on the cot and flopped over onto her side, away from him. She balled up the blanket in her fist and brought it to her mouth to muffle her sobs as the tears flowed.

Hyde stood there and grimaced. There it was. Her hope. She still hoped her mother loved her. And once again, it was going to hurt her. It already was. She'd never learn. And he'd always have to pick up the pieces. Or at least try to.

_I won't have to if…when she…._

He shook his head. No. Just hold her. Hold her now.

He returned to the cot and settled down behind her, slipping one arm beneath her slender frame and wrapping the other around the front of her. He pressed his body hard to hers, and nuzzled her neck. His eyes closed. "I know, Jackie," he whispered gruffly. A little kiss to her neck. "I know."

After a little while, she rolled over, her tears slowing because of Steven's grip on her, like he didn't want to let go. Ever. She smiled sadly up at him. Oh, his eyes. So beautiful. So blue, so revealing, so intoxicating. His hands spread out on her back, warming her. "But I have you."

_At least right now. At least until I die. _

His heart flipped. "Yeah. You do."

_At least right now. At least until you die. _

No.

He leaned his head to hers and kissed her softly. Just a little kiss. But her lips clung, and who was he to deny her? His mouth opened, and the warmth of her tongue made him wince. God, how he loved kissing her. She moaned, and the echo of it on his lips made his desire for her, always there under the surface, rush to the top. Her arms tightened, and his hands squeezed her. One slowly slipped down from her back to her rear.

Their lips parted, only slightly, and Jackie smiled sexily. Her eyes, heavy lidded, noticed that his were too. "Why don't we pick up where we left off before Mrs. Forman barged in?" She arched her back, driving her chest tight to his, and his groan only intensified her building passion. "Steven, I…"

"Jackie, shhhh." His lips slammed to hers.

They rolled over, Hyde moving on top of her, all the while joined in a deep, wet, biting kiss. He moved his lips from hers, to her chin, down her jaw and to her neck, her sweet skin filling his senses. His hips involuntarily pressed down against the open cradle of her thighs, and he grinned when she gasped.

Jackie gripped his tee shirt tightly in her hands. Fire was building inside of her, and she couldn't stop herself from squirming under him to get what she wanted where she wanted. He was so….firm. So solid. So hard. So….such a man. "Steven…" Oh, he was so warm…warm and achingly hard….it felt so good….

He lifted up and began to unbutton her blouse. They both panted and watched each other with the intensity of physical and emotional lust. He pushed the sides of the blouse away from her, but it wasn't enough. "I want it off….sit up."

She did, and even before he could take the shirt off, she did. He watched her, his eyes glittering, and she hurried to take her bra off. His smile was lusty, but she stopped him before he could lunge towards her chest with hot kisses. "Wait. I want yours off, too." She reached for the hem of his shirt.

He grinned and helped her pull it off of his body, then immediately pushed her back down on the cot. She giggled, but her legs encased his and jerked him downwards to her. Fine with him. His lips hungrily scoured her chest, leaving a variety of droplet sized kisses and wide, damp, sucklings of her.

"Steven…oh god…wait…is the….door…"

He stopped kissing her and looked at her, then at the wide open door. "Shit!" He had to close it. And lock it. No way was he going to stop again. No way. It had been too long. And he need to be that close to her. He needed to be in her. Just as she needed him in her.

He rolled off the cot and strode to the door. He closed it, locked it, and was about to turn around when he felt kisses on his shoulder blades. A long flick of a silky, warm tongue. A pair of naked breasts against his lower back as she moved her mouth over him, wherever she could reach. He moaned and put both hands on the door, squeezing his eyes closed and savoring the pleasure singing his body. "Jackie…"

Jackie smiled against him, then pulled away, stepping away from him and putting her hands on the zipper of her jeans, waiting for him to turn around. He did, an annoyed look on his face until his eyes met hers. "Steven…"

After they'd both shed their clothes, after he'd gently but eagerly pushed her back down onto the cot, after he'd climbed on top of her, after they kissed passionate, touched even more passionately, explored each other and taken each other to the brink of all control, Hyde looked down at her. Her cheeks were flushed, her lips swollen, just as his entire body felt.

She wondered why he was hesitating. She could feel him, right where he was supposed to be, and it was driving her crazy. She wanted him. Desperately. Each touch of him in that certain spot made her more insane with that want. "Steven, what are you…" She paused, and she saw it in his eyes, suddenly tense. He was worried. "Baby, I'm not gonna break."

Hyde rolled his eyes. Silly. Why would having sex hurt her? It wouldn't. Of course it wouldn't.

"But…maybe we could just…" Her hands slowed on his back, and now, instead of heated, take-me-now touches, she left seductive and teasing, just-you-wait-type of caresses. "Go a bit slower."

His eyes closed. Her lips attacked his neck, and he arched it for her. Slow….sl…o….w…… Her hands moved all over him, his legs, his chest, his hips, his stomach, lower…torture. Sweet, sweet torture.

And it was working. The pleasure of the teasing was more powerful than he ever remembered it being. More arousing. He'd never, ever been this turned on. He'd never wanted sex to last as long as he wanted to this last. He grinned and pushed her back down. "Your turn, dollface. And…you're gonna get it good."

After her own torture, in which Steven kissed her everywhere, nibbled everywhere, licked everywhere, finally, she couldn't bear it anymore. "Steven, please!" Her legs wrapped around her waist, drawing his maleness right to her. "Please…"

He smiled and rubbed his nose against hers. "What happened to slow?"

She swatted his rear end. "Just…Steven…" And to her surprise, his entry was just as slow, just as teasing, just as seductive as their play had been. She gasped his name, hardly on a breath, and in less than a second completely lost herself in him.

Ecstasy.

Later on, after what to Hyde felt like the most incredible, awe inspiring marathon ever, they lay together in the position that had started this whole thing. Her head rested on his chest. He was pretty sure she was sleeping. He'd slept for awhile, but then woke up. And now, just lay here, remembering how it had felt. So damn good.

Jackie sighed in contentment as she woke up from her after-slumber. He'd looked at her the entire time, even when he fell over that proverbial edge. He'd groaned her name, so loud, so roughly, like she was everything he'd ever wanted.

And then he'd whispered that he loved her. Stroked her wet forehead, kissed her eyelids, whispered that he loved her so much. So much. He'd never said that before. So much.

He smiled. She'd looked at him the entire time, even when she'd reached that inevitable explosion. She'd gasped his name, then called it, then screamed it. Like he was all she ever needed. Like he was the only one who could make her feel that way.

And she'd cried. But this time happily. Tears rolled down her cheeks when she'd leaned over him, her tiny fingers on his cheek. She'd told him that she loved him. More than anyone or anything in the world.

"Steven?"

He raised his eyebrows. Didn't think she was awake. "Yeah, dollface?"

She smiled and ran her fingernails lightly up and down his chest, letting them dance a little bit in his soft chest hair. "I love you."

He closed his eyes. Her touch…her words…her. "I love you, too." His hand sunk into her hair. Rich, thick, so soft.

"I can hear your heart, Steven."

Th-thump. Th-thump. Th-thump.

He smiled and nudged her up with his shoulder. She gave him a smile, so damn beautiful, and he bobbed his eyebrows. He brought his hand up and put it on her chest. "Yeah, well, I can feel yours."

Th-thump. Th-thump. Th-thump.

She rolled over his body and straddled him, arching her back, moving his hands to where she wanted them, and lustily smirked at him. He licked his lips in anticipation. And both of them thought the same thing.

It was going to be a very long, very, very hot night.

And it was going to be incredible.

Th-thump, th-thump, th-thump th-thump, th-thump.


	21. Be With Me

**Disclaimer: **I don't own.

**Author's Note: **Thanks so much for reading and reviewing! One more chapter after this and then an epilogue. Sigh. Seems like it's taken me forever, but I'm going to finish it! Yay! (I have to confess that I have another story in mind...in fact, I've written the first chapter of it...but I thought I'd hold off on that one until this is done.) Hope you enjoy!

**Warning: **As usual, mild language.

Convincing

Chapter 21 – Be With Me

_Early Thursday morning _

Somehow, Hyde let Jackie talk him into sneaking out of the house at 3:30 in the morning and taking her to Mount Hump to watch the sunrise. Another stupid, girly, Forman-type thing to do. He vowed to himself that after she was better…_if she got better_…there wasn't going to be anymore of this crap. He wasn't this guy.

Of course, when she told him to bring a couple blankets and a pillow, he had the feeling that the trip to Mount Hump wouldn't be entirely wasted.

And he was right. They lay in the bed of the Camino, their clothes balled up somewhere, he didn't know where. Probably the ground, considering the way she'd been kicking her legs around. Her head was on his chest again, and his hand rubbed her back. Still damp. He grinned. He loved her body all sweaty. Even more, he loved making her all sweaty.

Jackie stared up. Clouds of pink and purple floated in the freshly blue sky, and soft, golden hues of the new day's sun cast serenity all around her. It was like a painting. She wondered if she'd remember this moment, or how Steven had looked down at her while they made love. He'd been haloed by that sweet light, the vibrant colors, and the blue of his eyes seemed to deepen to impossible depths. _Love. It was love in his eyes. _She smiled and sighed happily. She'd seen that look in his eyes before, but in this setting, it just seemed so much more. So deep.

Hyde glanced at the top of her head. "What are you sighing about?"

She giggled and raised up, turning over to rest her chin on his shoulder. "I was just thinking that that was the most romantic moment of my life."

He shook his head. "No, you mean it was the hottest moment of your life."

She rolled her eyes. "Most romantic."

"Hottest."

She swatted at his chest. "Steven!"

"Come on, Jackie, give me something. I came out here, didn't I?"

She stared at his raised eyebrow. "Fine. It was the hottest moment of my life."

He grinned and patted her backside, letting his hand rest there longer than necessary. "Thank you."

She scooted up his body so her lips were near his jaw, and placed several tiny, nibbling kisses. Her lips moved up to his ear, and she suckled him softly. "Most romantic," she whispered, just before biting his earlobe softly.

Hyde rolled his eyes, but smoothed his hand up and down her back. _More of that stuff, dollface. _She gave a little more, then settled down on his chest again.

They lay there in silence for a few minutes, until it bothered him, which was odd. He wanted her to talk. Wanted to hear her voice. So very strange, and it left him quite uncomfortable. But silence between them, right now, seemed wrong. He cleared his throat. "Uh…hey, you wanna hear something sick?" He felt her nod, and smiled. Sure. Now she got quiet. "Never thought I'd say this, but I wish you were just pregnant."

Jackie sat up and met his eyes. He had that look on his face, the one where he tried to cover up his real feelings with jokes and lightness. But she knew better. She reached for his cheek and rested her fingers on his beard. So scruffy. She smiled sadly. She knew exactly what he was saying. Pregnancy before this had seemed like the worst that could happen. Something that would ruin everything, both their lives, everything. And now…mere pregnancy would seem a blessing. "I know what you mean," she answered quietly. She looked at him again. "Do you want kids, Steven?"

She'd never really asked him. They'd never really talked about the future, mostly because he'd been so resistant and she so insistent. But they'd never even talked about it in general terms.

He stared for a moment at her bare breasts, such beautiful ones, but averted his eyes to the sky. "I don't know. I mean, if parenting skills are genetic, it's probably better that I don't." He tried to keep the bitterness in check. Tried to keep the Zen strong. But it never seemed to work with Jackie.

Jackie's hand, still resting on his cheek, slid down to his chest, and she petted him softly. Her lips curved up. "I think you'd be a great dad, Steven. Nothing like your parents." She giggled. "Probably more like Red."

He turned and gave her a grin. "Yeah, and it would be my luck I'd get a son as girly as Forman."

She laughed and leaned down to give him a lingering kiss. She drew back only an inch or two and stared into his eyes. "You'd be a great dad, Steven."

Hyde smiled and rubbed her back, his hand plummeting into her thick mane of hair. "And you'd be a gorgeous mom." Her eyes lit up, and he shook his head affectionately. "Come here." He put her head down on his chest. Suddenly, quiet sounded good.

She lay on him for a few minutes, but as the dawn began to give way to morning, she sat up. She'd never paid much attention to sunrises or sunsets, or anything like that. She'd never noticed how majestic the trees were, or how lovely meadows could be. Even the wildflowers and rocks that nestled at the foot of the trees seemed so much larger now. So beautiful. The world seemed so magical.

Maybe because it also seemed so momentary. Slippery. Because she could be about to lose it all.

Hyde reached up and traced his fingers down Jackie's bare back. "Dollface?" His eyes skimmed up and down her flesh. Her back was so smooth, olive toned, flawless, curving sweetly into the column of her spine. God, who knew that a back could be so sexy? He wanted to breathe every inch of it, taking slow tastes of it as he did so.

She stared at the horizon and watched as the shape of far away buildings and landscapes freed themselves from shadows. So much she hadn't looked at, hadn't heard, hadn't felt or experienced, hadn't done. There was so much she'd missed. And so much she could miss forever. Her eyes became wet and the beautiful sunrise blurred. "I keep thinking that this might be the last sunrise I ever see, Steven."

His entire body stiffened, and his hand dropped from her body. "God, Jackie, shut the hell up!"

He didn't want to hear her say that. He didn't even want her to be thinking it. And yet…how could he not expect her to, when it was in the back of his mind every single second?

Still. He didn't want to talk about it. At all. Ever.

Talking about it made it a real possibility.

_Like it isn't a real possibility if you don't talk about it? _

She turned to look at him and found him staring up at the sky, his jaw more tensed than she'd ever seen it before. And his eyes looked as bitingly angry as his voice sounded. "Puddin' Pop, we need to talk about it."

He glared at her. "No, we don't, Jackie."

They stared at one another, neither one wanting to give in, one needed to talk, one needing not to talk. Both of them silently pleading, still, with God to make this entire thing a nightmare they'd soon wake up from.

Finally, Hyde rolled his eyes. "Damn it, Jackie, I just wanna be with you right now. Stop ruining it."

_Please, baby, please. Don't make me talk about it. Don't…I can't…just don't. _

Jackie knew she'd probably pushed him too far, and she smiled weakly, taking comfort in the fact that she knew why he didn't want to talk about it. Because he didn't want to admit that it was a possibility. He didn't want to lose her. "Okay, baby." With a sigh, she laid back down, her head again on his chest, her body curled up on her side as close to his as she could get. She couldn't stop herself from turning her lips to his chest and giving him a long, sweet kiss.

His eyes closed. Sensual reverberations stiffened his body. "Jackie…" No other woman had so easily turned him on with such simple touches.

She rolled on top of him and stared down into his eyes. "Steven," she whispered. Her fingers cupped his face, his beard surprisingly soft to the tips of her fingers.

He watched her eyes dance between his, then stop, dead on, piercing his with everything she was. A rush of feelings filled him, so intense he was paralyzed for a few seconds. Love. Fear. Desire. Sadness. Pain. More love. More and more love. God. So much…

"God, I love you, Jackie."

His lips responded immediately to her kiss, but she kept it brief. Her hot breath replaced her lips on his, making his own breath become labored. He gripped her backside and pressed down lightly.

"I love you, Steven."

Another tiny kiss. A flick of her tongue into his mouth.

"Be with me."

He nodded, his fingers squeezing her. She sounded almost desperate, and he felt more than desperate. "Be with _me._"

They kissed, and quickly it turned passionate.

Even so, both of them knew that what they so desperately wanted from each other wasn't only the physical. And both of them knew that what they so desperately wanted from each other might not be possible.

_Friday morning, Point Place General Hospital _

"So the doctors said you could wear that tee shirt instead of a gown?"

Jackie sat in her hospital bed and smiled down at her chest. "Yep. Well, I have to wear the gown too, but they said I could wear this underneath." She'd had to sob her eyes out to convince the doctor, but it worked. Good thing, since they refused to let her wear Steven's sunglasses during the surgery. She had to settle for the Led Zeppelin tee shirt.

At least it was something of his. It even smelled like him. She'd made him wear it for awhile before putting it on.

Eric looked around the hospital bed. Fez, Donna, Kelso, Red, Kitty and Bob were gathered. No Hyde. "Speaking of Hyde, where is he?"

Jackie rolled her eyes. "He forgot my favorite teddy bear. Can you believe that? I mean, I can't stay in this…" She gazed around the room distastefully. "In this _room_ without him. Especially since I have to be all…" Her voice trailed off, and she looked down. The doctors had made it clear that no one would be able to stay with her. And even Steven's whispered reassurance that he'd sneak in hadn't made her feel better.

Kelso shrugged. "Well, it's probably better that you don't have a roommate." He chuckled. "I mean, they'd probably die laughing from seeing you with a bald head!"

Hyde scowled as he walked into the room, just in time to hear Kelso's comment. "Shut the hell up, moron." He went to the bed and tried to grin at Jackie. "Here's your teddy bear."

"And a present!" Jackie squealed, her horror at Michael's insensitive comment forgotten because of the brightly wrapped package Steven placed on her lap.

Hyde nodded. "It's not from me. The post man was at your apartment and he left it with me. I opened it to make sure it wasn't another nightie from Kelso." He glared at Kelso, who cowered slightly and stepped backwards, away from Jackie.

Jackie giggled and opened the present. She gasped. At least two dozen brightly covered, silk scarves lay in the tissue paper. Her mouth hung open as she pulled them out. "Oh my god…these are so beautiful!"

Donna nodded and reached out to finger the silk. "And silk, too. Jackie, these will be perfect for you to wear until your wig is done."

Fez nodded. "And very stylish!"

Jackie nodded, but she was distracted by the card found at the bottom. Her fingers shook as she slid it out and read it. "Oh my god," she murmured.

_Jackie, Sorry I can't be with you. I'm thinking of you. Hope you like these. They're almost as beautiful as me, so how could you not? Love, Mom. _

Hyde watched his girlfriend carefully.

"They're….they're from my mom." Tears filled her eyes, and she looked up at Steven. "Steven, they're...from…" Her throat contracted, and she couldn't talk. She wasn't quite sure how to feel. After being so unconcerned and insensitive, now her mother sends her these beautiful scarves? Perfect for covering her bald head?

She just didn't know how to take it.

He smiled and took one of her hands. "And a present is better than her actually being here, isn't it? Hell, these scarves will last longer."

She laughed and squeezed his hand. "Ain't that the truth?"

_Twenty minutes later _

The group was forced out of Jackie's room in order for some prep work to be done on her, and as they did, Donna pulled Hyde aside. She looked at him curiously. "Hyde, are those scarves really from Pam?"

He looked at her. "Are you kidding? Pam's probably off on another cruise with some sugar daddy."

Eric looked confused. "Wait, then who are they from?"

Hyde stared at him but said nothing.

Eric's eyes widened. "Oh…you bought them and pretended they were from Pam?"

Donna frowned. "But the card…wouldn't Jackie notice if it wasn't her handwriting?"

Hyde smirked. "One of Leo's secret talents is forgery. Jackie has all those postcards Pam sent her. He just copied her handwriting from one of them."

"Awww, Hyde, that's so sweet," Donna said, grinning.

He didn't smile in return. "Yeah, well, Jackie still wants her mom to love her. I just…I wanted to give her something…" He rolled his eyes and looked away.

_Plus I don't want her to turn out to be like me. Then…she wouldn't be her. And I…god, I love her. _

Eric patted his friend's shoulder. "Seriously, man. That's a really nice thing to do."

The door to Jackie's room opened, and a rather haggard looking nurse came out. "Excuse me," she said to the group. "Is there a Steven here?"

Hyde nodded. "I'm Steven."

"Well, could you come in? We need to shave Miss Burkhardt's head, and she's…" The nurse looked slightly embarrassed. "She's threatening to bite me if I don't let you in to be with her."

Hyde chuckled. "That sounds about right." The nurse gave him a look, and he shrugged. "She's a biter, what can I say?"

He followed the nurse in the room with a slight smile. Yeah. His girl was still her feisty self. Alive and well.

_At least for now. _


	22. Can't Breathe

**Disclaimer: **Sadly, I own nothing.

**Author's Note: **Okay, I keep lying. One more chapter after this, than an epilogue. Sheesh. But that's really it. I mean it. :)Hope it doesn't bother anyone about the OCC-ness, but the way I figure it, everyone reaches their breaking point, and Hyde's reached his. Plus I have a hard time staying in character with television characters, since they're obviously not as three dimensional as real people. Hmm...maybe I shouldn't write tv fanfiction::giggle: Anyway, hope you enjoy. And thank so much for the reviews! I'm sure this is trite by now, but I love and appreciate reading your thoughts. :)

**Warning: **Mild language.

Convincing

Chapter 22 – Can't Breathe

Hyde closed the door behind him and almost stumbled out into the hallway outside of Jackie's hospital room, carrying a bag and trying to forget her tears. Her pleading looks and gasps. Her pain that he felt in his blood. He smiled weakly at the group sitting across the hall on two benches, close together and all staring up at him. "Did you hear her screaming?"

Donna nodded, but didn't smile. "Sounded painful."

"Sounded like she was being tortured," Eric added.

Kelso grinned. "Jackie used to scream like that when we were doing it."

Hyde's stomach clenched in anger, but he smiled mildly at the idiot. "Well, of course she did. Doing it with you was obviously torture." The others chuckled, and Kelso just looked confused. Hyde shook his head and turned to look the other way, thankful to see Kitty and Red returning with enough coffee for everyone.

"Steven, is that Jackie's hair?"

He glanced down at the bag. "Yeah."

_Except for the lock of it I stuck in my wallet. But no one needs to know about that. _

"I'll hold on to it for you. We'll take it over to the wigmaker tomorrow. She's supposed to be brilliant, and quick, so poor Jackie won't have to be bald for that long."

He nodded, hardly hearing her. "Thanks, Mrs. Forman." He looked down at the ground briefly. God, he was exhausted. He needed a few minutes…away from her, just to recollect himself. Just to catch a breath.

It was getting to be too much. Too real. Too damn real. He was feeling claustrophobic just from being on the planet. Straight-jacketed by the very air around him.

"Steven, do you want Red and I to go stay with her for a little while? So you can have a little break?"

His eyes closed gratefully, but he couldn't speak. All he could do was nod. He was just too tired to even talk.

Someone put an arm around his shoulder and led him over to the bench. Mechanically, he sat down and leaned back against the wall. His eyes stayed closed, until her sweet face, drenched in tears that spoke of a million fears and devastating pain, flashed across the screen of his closed lids.

No. No. No.

_No! I don't wanna see that anymore! _

"You okay, Hyde?"

He couldn't move. Just stared at the floor in front of his feet. Tile. Ugly white tile. Jackie would say it was cheap, ugly white tile.

"I don't think he's okay, Eric."

_It is. So damn cheap. _

"Hyde, you want some coffee?"

All her hair was gone. This was really going to happen. Those doctors were going to cut her head open…cut into her…with a knife…_cut…_

"I don't think he wants coffee, Donna."

Voices. Dull, ragged strings of sound, words he didn't understand. _Stop. Just stop talking. Let me…let me breathe. Let me just…breathe for a minute. _

_Is she still breathing? _

"Michael, I'm sorry I'm late. Has the surgery started yet?"

"Brooke, hey, what are you doing here?"

"Well, Michael told me what's going on with Jackie, and I know he's upset about it. After all, she's his best friend. I just wanted to be here with him. You know, to support him. Are you doing okay, Michael?"

Suddenly, the words made sense to his ears.

Hyde looked up, and through the fog in his eyes, saw Kelso and Brooke standing there, close together, in front of him. She was hugging Kelso, giving him that chick look, that "Oh, you poor baby" look. Like he was the one suffering and not Jackie. Like he was the one who was probably gonna lose the girl he loved.

And Kelso was lapping it up.

Anger. It boiled inside. His entire body felt cloistered in the dead center of an erupting volcano.

Hyde stood up and glared at the oh-so cozy looking couple. "Asshole," he muttered.

Kelso looked at him. "What the hell, Hyde?"

"You're an asshole because you're using Jackie's surgery to hook up with a chick." Hyde's voice thinned, sounded harsh, even shrill in his own ears.

_Like Jackie's. Jackie. God, Jackie. _

"God, Kelso, don't you get it? Don't you GET it? She could…She could…She's gonna….."

The group watched, all holding their breaths, all stunned, as the normally Zen, in control, emotionless Hyde seemed to shatter. He began pacing, his arms waving wildly, his mouth releasing incomprehensible mumblings.

Panic.

"Gotta get out of here…I gotta get…" Hyde looked around, desperate for escape. Desperate for release.

_She's going to die. Soon. _

There had to be somewhere!

He stumbled down the hallway, and the others sat there for a moment, their eyes following him. Stunned into complete silence.

Finally, Eric stood up. "I…I should go after him."

Kelso frowned. "No. Let me."

Eric and Donna exchanged glances. "Kelso, I don't think…"

"No." Kelso's voice was surprisingly firm. "I'll go."

After a few minutes of wandering, Kelso found Hyde standing at the window at the end of a corridor. He wasn't looking out; instead, he was looking down at something in his hand. Kelso took a deep breath and headed towards his friend. He'd never seen Hyde this way, not exactly this way, and it was a bit scary. He tiptoed towards the window. "Hyde?" Hyde didn't respond, and so when Kelso got close enough, he put his hand on Hyde's shoulder. And he instinctively jumped backwards when Hyde violently shook him off.

"God, no!"

Silky black hair fluttered to the ground, separating from the tight lock into a cloud of unraveling strands.

Slipping from his grasp. From his touch. From him.

_Like her. She's gone…I know it. She's….gone… _

Hyde felt crazy. Wild in a way he'd never dreamed of. His heart pounded as if it was working overtime to give life to two people.

_Me and Jackie. For me and Jackie. 'Cause I don't know if she's gonna be able to soon._

Completely out of control.

_Gotta get her hair. It's all…it's all I have…she's not…she's gonna…_

Kelso watched in awe. Hyde was on his knees on the hospital floor, scooping up what looked like hair. He made a face. Ew. Why would Hyde want someone's discarded hair? And then he realized. Black hair. Long strands. Slightly wavy. Jackie's hair.

_God, he really, really loves her. _

"Hyde, are you…are you okay?"

The voice sounded close to him, and Hyde, holding the hair he'd scraped off the floor, panting hard, turned his head to the right. Kelso. Next to him, looking at him. His expression both concerned and alarmed.

His chest was too tight.

_Can't breathe. Can't BREATHE! _

_Is she breathing? Is she still breathing? _

"Hyde, I just wanted you to know that I really meant it when I said I'm not gonna go after Jackie anymore. I mean, god, you gave her your sunglasses. I never thought you'd give anyone your sunglasses. They're like, your soul, man. And you're holding her hair. You…I never realized it, but god, you really love her. I know that now. And I'm fine with it. So…"

A gush of utter exhaustion sped through Hyde's body, and he felt himself collapse. Down, down, down, everything rushing past his eyes in a blur. And then darkness.

Kelso watched Hyde rocking like a little kid, his forehead clasped in his hand, and he looked around. Hopefully no one else was seeing this. Hyde would flip out if anyone saw it.

"She's gonna die, Kelso. She's gonna…I know she's gonna…die."

The voice was quiet, hardly there, dull. But Kelso heard it.

_What the hell do I do? _

He didn't know. He just sat down next to Hyde and watched him.

Finally, a relieving cold enveloped Hyde, and he lifted up. His mind was heavy and disoriented. Had he just completely lost it? Had he just flipped out? He glared at Kelso and shook his head in disgust.

He had.

And Kelso had seen him completely lose it. He'd never hear the end of it now. Kelso would goad him and goad him about this…

But what in the hell did that matter if Jackie died? Would anything matter?

"Hyde, man, look. I don't know much about whatever the balloon thingy in Jackie's head is, and I don't know what the doctors are gonna do about it. But I know she's gonna live. I mean, you gave her your sunglasses. You think she's gonna die before she completely humiliates you with that one? Come on. Jackie lives for those things…" Kelso's voice softened. "Look. She loves you. She's gonna live." He grinned. "I mean, she probably thinks that since you gave her your sunglasses, next up is a big shiny diamond."

Hyde's lips turned up. Kelso was right about that. "Yeah." He looked down at the hair in his hand. "And plus she knows everyone's gonna be giving her all sorts of presents and shit like that. She'd never give up all that attention."

_Of course she won't. She lives for that crap. LIVES for that crap. _

Kelso nodded. "See?" He patted Hyde's shoulder. "I'm telling you, man, there's nothing to be worried about. She's gonna be fine."

Hyde looked at he kid he'd known forever. The dumb, pretty kid who had absolutely no common sense. The kid who had absolutely no business being a cop. The guy he'd both loved and hated, been jealous of and felt superior to.

How had _Kelso_ calmed him down? Kelso! KELSO!

He cleared his throat. "So…you, uh, you're really not gonna hit on Jackie anymore? Ever?"

Kelso's grin faltered into a slight one. "You really love her?"

A challenge. One that in the past, Hyde knew he'd back down from. He'd falter, out of some screwed up need to hide, to be "cool."

_God damn it, I think I'm….god, am I committing? I was never gonna do that!. Damn it, Jackie, do you see what you've done?I wasn't ready for this…I wasn't ready to feel this... _

_I wasn't ready to need you this much, Jackie. _

_And god…I'm not ready to lose you. _

_Shit. _

"Yeah." He met Kelso's eyes and felt none of the shame, more importantly, none of the fear he always expected to if he admitted to this. "Yeah, I do."

_No turning back now, Hyde. _

Kelso nodded. "Then I'm not gonna hit on her. Ever."

"Hey guys?"

The two looked up and found Eric standing there, looking a little puzzled and a little embarrassed, like he'd intruded.

"They're getting ready to take Jackie to the OR. She wants to say goodbye."

Hyde closed his eyes. Goodbye. No. No. Goodbyes were so final. So damn final.

Kelso nodded and waved Eric away. "We'll be right there." He watched Eric walk away, then looked back at Hyde. He stood up, and held his hand down to Hyde. "Come on, buddy. Lets go fuss over Jackie with the rest of them."

Hyde stood up, and when Kelso turned to walk away, grabbed his elbow. "Kelso."

Kelso turned. "Yeah?"

Hyde shrugged, his face slightly hot. "I just…" He sighed heavily. Might as well complete his humiliation. "Thanks."

Kelso was startled. Not often one got a thank you from Hyde. Too polite. Too…well, it just wasn't him. He started to say something, but change his mind. Instead, he hugged Hyde.

And what was even more surprising was that Hyde hugged him back.

Briefly, of course, like all man hugs, no matter what the circumstance, should be.

"So, we good?" Kelso asked.

Hyde shrugged, and just to make himself feel better, reached out and frogged Kelso's arm. Hard.

"Damn, Hyde, what was THAT for?"

Hyde grinned, though he didn't feel it. He didn't feel much anymore, except numb. "Just for the hell of it." Kelso made a face, nad he shrugged. "Come on."

They walked back in silence, and as they got closer to Jackie's room, Hyde's slight relaxation ended.

_Goodbye. I'll see you when you wake up. If you wake up. IF you wake up. _

_God, Jackie…._

That tightness in his chest again. Like his lungs were being trampled by an army of marching boulders.

_Can't breathe. Damn it. I can't fucking breathe! _

And he wondered if he'd ever be able to breathe again if she didn't.


	23. Go To Sleep

**Disclaimer:**I don't own.

**Author's Note:** It's a bit long, but I couldn't stop! Hope you enjoy!There will be an epilogue, hopefully in the next few days! Thanks so much to everyone who's read Reawakning and this one...I hopethey've been worth the time:) And thanks SO muchfor your reviews. They've been so great to read! And mean a lot to me.

Convincing

Chapter 23 - Go to Sleep

"Okay, Jackie, you need to take off those glasses now. You'll be getting your anesthetic soon."

Jackie glared through her precious glasses at the nurse who stood next to her, bearing that sickeningly sweet smile meant to be reassuring. "Why can't I wear them during the surgery? I mean, it's not like they're going to be operating on my face." Her eyes widened at the horrifying thought. "Oh my god, what if they screw up and do?"

The nurse chuckled and idly tucked the sheets in around Jackie. "Don't worry. You have the best surgeons in Point Place operating on you."

Jackie rolled her eyes. Best in Point Place. Not very reassuring. She sighed and lay back on her bed.

"Now come on." The nurse gently removed the glasses. "Don't worry. I'll take good care of them. They'll be waiting right here for you, okay?"

Jackie stared up at the nurse. Her entire body felt weak, limp, like she'd lost her life force or something. At least she still had her shirt. She could pretend it was Steven's arms around her. And at least he was here. Right outside her room. Thinking about her. Worrying about her. Loving her.

_Unlike my parents. They should be here. My mommy and daddy should BE HERE! _

"I think your family wants to see you before we take you to the OR. You feel up to it?"

Jackie turned her head to her left side, where the nurse was now doing something, she wasn't sure what, on the table next to her. She looked at the woman in confusion. Were her parents actually here? Had they come to surprise her? How had her father gotten out of prison? And how had her mother torn herself away from margaritaville? "My family?"

The nurse nodded. "That group who've been hanging around all day." She made a face. "Gotta say that some of them are a little….well…odd. I think that tall, good looking one was hitting on me." She grinned. "If I wasn't married, I might think about it!"

Jackie giggled, and a soft rush of affection quickly evaporated the slight tinge of disappointment in her stomach. Sure, they weren't _technically_ her family, and they all had their flaws. Some of them major ones. But though most of them had never said it, she knew they all, in their own way, loved her. Even Eric. Even Red. They'd all been there for her, and were all still here for her.

They weren't leaving.

They _were_ her family.

Tears filled her eyes.

_What if I never see them again? _

"Jackie? Do you want them to come in?"

She nodded, and though she tried, she couldn't keep the little girl out of her voice. "Yes, please."

A few minutes later, the group was gathered around her bed. She'd been given her anesthetic, and was told by the doctor that it would take about ten minutes to take effect. Ten minutes. Ten minutes to say goodbye to seven people who had become her family.

Donna stood next to Jackie, to her left, and held Jackie's hand. She smiled, trying to stop the strain in her eyes she knew would lead to tears. "So, Jackie, that scarf looks really pretty. Maybe you shouldn't even bother with the wig. Think about it, you could start a whole new fashion!"

Jackie giggled, but her smile quickly faded. "Donna, look," she said, her voice soft, shaking.

Like she was just about to die and had to say something important.

She squeezed Donna's hand. "I just…I'm sorry that I always called you a lumberjack and made fun of your clothes." She shrugged her shoulder slightly. "I just…I mean, you're my…" Her voice broke, and she had to close her eyes briefly. "You're my best friend, and sometimes I think you don't know that."

Donna's face twisted. How was she supposed to keep her composure? How was she supposed to face this without crying? "I…Jackie, I know that." She barely recognized her own voice. It sounded choked and forced. Alien.

Jackie ignored the tears on her cheeks. Easy enough. She'd shed so many of them lately. They were almost comforting to her now. She was still alive if she was crying. "You gave me a place to live when I had no where else to go…and I just…Donna, I just…." A gasping breath. "I love you."

The tears burst out of Donna wildly, and she had to clutch her mouth closed in order to keep even a smidgen of breath in her lungs. She stared at Jackie. Her best friend. Formally so perfect and beautiful, now in a hospital gown, with a red scarf wrapped around a hairless head, with circles under her eyes and no make up. Her best friend. Who might…who might be about to die. "I love you too, Jackie." She bent down to give Jackie an awkward bed hug, and found herself sobbing into the tiny girl's shoulder.

Fez grinned and clapped his hands. "Now we're talking. Donna, give her a kiss."

Everyone glared at him, save for Donna and Jackie. He shrugged innocently. "What? Not appropriate?"

Hyde rolled his eyes and looked back at his girlfriend. Damn it. He wanted everyone to go away. Yeah, they were Jackie's friends, hell, her family, and they deserved a chance to say goodbye, but she was _his. _His chick. His pretty little dollface. _His. _He sighed and pursed his lips.

_Damn it, Donna, hurry up. Hurry the hell up. It's not like she has forever. Not like I have forever with her. _

Donna pulled up and wiped away her tears, managing to smile down at Jackie. "Enough of that, midget."

Jackie nodded, but still looked at Donna. "Hey, do you remember the first night I lived with you?"

Donna rolled her eyes. "Yeah. You played ABBA all night."

"Not all night, god, Donna! Don't you remember we talked all night? And you told me that Eric always makes you hold HIM after sex?"

Eric gasped and glared at Donna as the others looked at him and chuckled. "Donna!"

Donna shrugged, and winked at him, then looked at Jackie. "Yeah, and then you told me how Hyde loves it when you play with his hair."

Hyde glared at Jackie, then at everyone else. "Get bent. All of you." So what if it was true?

God. Her fingers in his hair. Her nails lightly scratching his scalp.

_God, I have to feel that again. I HAVE TO. _

Jackie stared at Donna. "I'm…I'm gonna miss you, Donna."

_If I can miss anyone when I'm dead, that is. _

Donna's face contorted. "Don't say that, Jackie!" she cried. "God! You're gonna be fine. I know you will. Okay?" She dropped Jackie's hand and walked away from the bed. She just couldn't handle this. Her best friend could very well die. She walked towards the door and stopped. Her head lowered, and she buried it in her hands.

_I'm gonna miss you too, midget. So much. _

The others came to her side to say their goodbyes. Jackie began to feel a lethargic dizziness as they passed by her in a blur. Eric and Michael both kissed her forehead. Fez kissed her cheek over and over until Steven reached across her body to push him off of her.

Red came next, and he smiled down at her, slightly awkwardly, but the kindest she'd ever seen. She gazed up at him. "Mr. Forman? You're more of a dad to me than my real dad is. I…if I ever…" She glanced to her right, at her amazing Steven. He'd been holding her hand the entire time, not willing to let go, she gathered, from the tight fit of his hand around hers.

And it gave her strength. Hope. She had something to come back to. All she had to do was fight to come back. Fight to come back to Steven.

"When I get married, do you think you could walk me down the aisle?"

Hyde watched with a slight smile as Red, the indomitable, cranky old Red, became choked up. He swallowed several times before he was able to manage a smile and reply.

"If I do, will you stay the hell out of my basement?" He patted Jackie's head softly as she giggled. When he spoke again, his voice was low and soft. "Of course I will, Jackie."

Another kiss on the forehead, and Jackie wanted to close her eyes, but was afraid to. If she did, she might never open them again. Ever. And so she started her fight by struggling to resist the intense exhaustion that was tingling slowly down her body. Mrs. Forman came up to her bedside, and Jackie smiled at her. "Mrs. Forman, I was wondering…do you think I could call you Mom every once in awhile? Cause you're always here, and you always act like…a mom, and I…" She scraped her teeth across her bottom lip. "And I love you like a mom."

Kitty cried softly, and leaned down the the suffering, precious girl abandoned by her real parents. "Oh, sweetie, I would be…well, I would be honored if you called me Mom. Whenever you want to." She kissed Jackie's cheek firmly, leaving her lips there for a long time. "We love you, Jackie, and when you wake up, we'll all be here, okay?"

Hyde tapped his fingers on the side of Jackie's bed impatiently. There was that selfish desire to not share her last few…no….NO….this time with her with anyone else again. And finally, when Mrs. Forman finally stood up and wiped her eyes, when Jackie turned her head to look up at him, he knew it was finally his turn. He glanced at the others. "Uh, do you think you could…you know…give us some..." He waved them off.

The group scurried away, but didn't leave. Hyde rolled his eyes when he realized they were only going to gather at the door and nothing more, but decided not to bother fighting it. No time.

No time left. No time to say all the things he really should say. The things he knew he couldn't say.

Jackie looked up at Steven and tried to smile. He did his best to smile back.

"So…you, uh, you got your shirt?"

She nodded and pulled the top of her gown down slightly to show him. "My shirt." His finger traced the top of it lightly, and she sighed. Would his touch feel the same after the surgery? Would she even feel his touch again? She shook her head. No. Fight. Fight. For Steven. "So…you're…you're gonna stay, right?"

Hyde nodded, his eyes locked on Jackie's face, studying every nuance of her. Imprinting her in his memory. Just in case. "Sure. I mean, where else would I go? Work?" He scoffed, and she giggled. He squeezed her hand. So little.

She giggled, trying to avoid the sadness, the feeling of loss creeping up on her. "I guess I look kind of silly, huh?"

Hyde glanced over his shoulder at the group, who were all staring at them intently.

_Aw, screw them. Screw the zen. Screw it all! _

"You're beautiful," he said quietly, putting his hand on her cheek. So soft. What had she described her skin as that one time? Soft, creamy, porcelain? Yeah. She was right.

Jackie's eyes filled with the same tears that had already filled her heart. Steven, so handsome in his scruffy way, was here with her, not going anywhere. And she was so scared that this was their last minute together. The last time….god, she was scared. "Steven, when did you realize that you were going to fall in love with me?" she asked almost shyly. She'd always wondered, but never had the nerve to ask.

Hyde sighed. "Jackie, I don't know," he answered, feeling guilty about his answer, and yet, it was the truth. He didn't know. He'd been so busy denying that he had any sort of feelings for her whatsoever, nearly right up to the day that he realized he loved her. But then again…looking back on everything…maybe he did know. Maybe he did know the first time he suspected that she was supposed to be…his.

Jackie smiled softly. Not a surprising answer, and almost reassuring. Steven was still Steven. "I realized it when you went to jail for me," she said. Her voice was drowsy, low, almost dreamy. Exactly the way she felt. "I know you thought that I was just a silly little girl, and I guess I was, but I knew then, Steven, that someday…" Her voice cracked, and she turned his hand over in hers. She put it down on her chest and pressed it into where she imagined her heart was. "Someday I would love you the way I do today. So much, Steven."

He had to swallow hard, at least seven times to keep himself in control. God…how could she love him as much as she did? What had he ever done to deserve it?

And how could he ever, ever live without it?

"Steven, I wrote you a letter that I want you to read if I…if I don't…"

He shook his head roughly. "Jackie, stop it. Don't say that."

"Steven, please. Just…in case. There's so much I want you to know, and I just can't…just promise me you'll read it if I…you know."

_Please, Steven. Please. So you'll know…you'll know that you are…were…my dream come true, even though you never thought so. _

Hyde closed his eyes. Damn it! He'd never felt as weak as he did right now. Never as scared. Or desperate.

Or as in love. Funny how one had to nearly lose something to realize what exactly it was that one had.

Now he realized. Now he knew how important she was to him. And now…now he could lose her.

He opened his eyes and looked down at her. No make up, her head wrapped in a red scarf, and still, she was beautiful. "Our first kiss. That night in the woods."

Jackie furrowed her brow. "What?"

"That's when I realized that I'd…" He glanced over his shoulder again. They were all still watching, and listening. But for some reason, he didn't give a damn. He looked back at his pretty little dollface. "That I was gonna fall in love with you."

Jackie's heart sped up, and she couldn't stop the smile on her lips. "So…you did feel something that night!" He nodded, and a few tears rolled out of her eyes. She reached up and put a hand on his cheek. "Steven, I did too." She smiled, and her voice lowered into a husky whisper. "Kiss me."

_Kiss me until I fall asleep. So that the last thing…the last thing I do is kiss you. _

He did, long, sweet, soft. She flickered her tongue against his, and he responded, but kept it gentle.

_Last kiss. This could be our last kiss. _

He withdrew, but kept his face close to hers, their noses touching, their lips grazing, their eyes joined so that he could almost feel hers inside his. He noticed how heavy her lids were, how glassy her eyes were, and his heart sank. She was just about ready to fall asleep. "Jackie," he whispered, just over her lips.

Jackie shivered. His breath was so hot on her skin, felt so heavenly good. "Steven," she breathed, even as her ability to talk, to think, became hampered by the sleepiness now rising from her chest to her head. She could barely hold her eyelids open, but forced herself to. The blue of his was so comforting. Made her warm. Safe. He was right there. Right there with her.

"Jackie, I love you."

_So much more I could…should…say to you. I've never felt this way about anyone…never wanted to feel this way about anyone but you. You're the only one who never left me…not really…the only one who believed in me…Jackie, I need you. I want you. I love you…and I know. I know…god, Jackie, I know. _

"Steven, I love you," she murmured, her words slightly slurring. "Kiss…"

He did. Several times. Soft, short touches. Nibbles of her that might have to sustain him for the rest of his life. His eyes opened, but hers didn't.

"Steven, so sleepy…"

_So much I want to say to you…so much I want you to know and feel and remember…Steven, remember me. Thank you…for making me stronger…for making me complete…for helping me to grow up…for loving me, even if it wasn't always the way I used to think it should be. It was the way I needed it to be….need it to be. _

He swallowed hard, but this time it didn't stop the tears from stinging his eyes. He had to let her go. Now. Maybe forever. His lips hovered over hers, and feeling sicker than a drunk dog, feeling a tear fall from his eye to her cheek, he answered her. "Go to sleep, dollface…go to…" Couldn't breathe again. Couldn't get air. "Sleep." Another gasp.

"Love you…Steven….love…"

He winced. "I love you, Jackie…I'll…I'll be here…dollface."

He kissed her until her lips slackened and didn't even respond to his.

"I love you so much, Jackie."

_God, I hope she knows. I hope she knows…._

A few minutes later, Hyde stood in the hallway outside Jackie's room, watching the doctors wheel her away. His body was stiff and sore, like he'd been fighting an intense all-life battle with some unknown enemy.

He wouldn't know whether he'd won or lost until the surgery was over.

"Steven? Sweetie, are you okay?"

Mrs. Forman. Her voice, her hand on his shoulder. He turned to her, and for the first time in ages, he felt like Jackie must have been feeling. He wanted his mommy. Someone to make him feel better. Someone to tell him that Jackie wasn't going to die, that she was going to be fine. Someone to care.

"Steven, honey, maybe you should sit down."

Kitty was startled when Steven lurched towards her and threw his arms around her, but she quickly recovered and held him close, stroking his back the way she'd stroked Eric's so often. "Oh sweetie…" Her eyes closed. Her poor precious Steven, suffering for so long in silence. And now it was too much for him.

He was crying, she realized, and her arms tightened around him.

_Please, God, help Steven. Be with Steven. Be with us all. _

_Be with Jackie. _

Jackie floated through warm, gentle air. It seemed as if she was riding on a cloud, the ride was smooth and unfettered by any obstacles. She couldn't see anything, her eyes were closed and too heavy for her to open. Had they stapled them shut? So she wouldn't suddenly wake up during the surgery and see what was going on?

She heard murmurings, adult sounding voices, talking about stuff she assumed had to do with the surgery.

_**Wow, you look beautiful. **_

Steven!

She could hear his voice. Quiet. Almost as if it was following her.

**_What are you doing man? Come on, cheerleader, dirtbag…_**

Getting louder. Closer. Stronger.

**_Jackie, get your car. We're going on a freaking date… You're really cute, so no one ever told you to shut your piehole…I sicken me because you're supposed to sicken me but you don't…Look, all I'm saying is if you're gonna be my girlfriend, you can't go running around shooting off your big, fat cheerleader mouth…I thought it might cheer you up…It's my favorite one. Look, you're with me now so I want you to have it…I am liking you more and more… _**

Steven!

**_I don't want to be with her because of YOU. And ME. Because of US…I'm not going to leave you, Jackie…I'm scared, too, dollface…I uh…well, I mean, I'm probably not gonna be able to be with you all the time in the hospital, and I figured maybe you'd want to have… _**

He was there. Holding her hand. Looking at her with those eyes. Believing in her. She could feel him all over her body. Maybe he was holding her, and whispering all these sweet things into her ear. Dotting her lobes with tender kisses. Gently brushing his hand over her chest, making a circle over her heart.

**_God, I love you, Jackie… _**

The sound of his voice was starting to fade. Everything around her was starting to fade. Her senses were disabling. She was slipping away to whatever fate held for her.

But she could still feel him. She could feel his words, his touches, his love.

_**Jackie, I really hate your mother…God, I love you, Jackie…Be with me…Our first kiss. That night in the woods…That's when I realized that I was gonna fall in love with you…** _

It was ending. She could only feel a slight spark of anything inside of her. Slipping…sliding…falling into something…unconscious…unaware….

**_I love you so much Jackie…Go to sleep…I'll be here, dollface. _**

Her last thought was of him. Her last feeling was of him. Her last realization was that he would always, always be with her, no matter where she was.

He would be with her. Always.

And she was convinced of that when at last, her mind, her body, her soul found rest.


	24. You Convinced Me

**Disclaimer: **I don't own.

**Author's Note: **I know it was mean of me to end the last chapter the way I did, but that's how the story flowed! I hope the ending makes up for it. :) Thank you so very much for reading Reawakening and Convincing, and thanks SO very much for the sweet and kind and wonderful reviews you've given me! I hope you've enjoyed them as much as I've enjoyed writing them. I'm kind of sad that it's over!

**Warning: **Mild language

Convincing

Epilogue – You Convinced Me

_Eight months later _

Funny how life's most important lessons often come with the highest costs. Funny how one has to suffer to appreciate. Funny how quickly emotions turn over; fear to courage, grief to joy. Exhaustion to exhilaration.

Funny how almost losing someone, just one tiny person, can change another's entire world.

And funniest of all was how one person could be so damn convincing and not even realize it.

Hyde walked into the Forman basement and immediately headed for his room. What he really wanted to do was lie down for a little while, before the rest of the gang arrived and inevitably got on his nerves. He frowned. His door was closed, and he didn't remember closing it when he'd left for work that moment. He rolled his eyes. What the hell did it matter? He opened the door, and instantly was paralyzed by what stood in front of him.

A seductive, curvy little body, wrapped up in about a dozen or so silk scarves. Nothing else. Just a rainbow of silk from her breasts to the very tops of her thighs.

"Holy crap," he muttered dumbly. Of course, how could he not speak dumbly? The blood was quickly leaving his brain, heading for southern, more pleasurable pastures.

Jackie smiled sexily and took a few steps towards her boyfriend. "You like it? I just…I wanted to do something fun." She giggled and turned around to show Steven her backside. "Look. You can…untie me."

Hyde nodded and grinned at the twelve or so bows on the back of her. He pushed the door closed behind him and snapped it locked. Yeah. This had definite, _definite_ possibilities of turning into one hell of a night. "And then can I tie you up with 'em?"

She strutted over to him and pressed her body to his. She hadn't felt very sexy the past several months, but he'd been patient. So patient. Never pressuring her, and only occasionally groaning audibly when she put the brakes to their make-outs. And always being there for her, during her depressed moments, when she had problems with her memory, all the nausea and headaches and exhaustion she'd experienced during her recovery. He deserved a reward. Her arms encircled him, and the feel of his strong body against hers thrilled her. "If you're good the first time, Steven," she purred.

"Like there's any doubt of that," he answered, leaning down to kiss her. He did, and as her mouth opened, her tongue welcoming him in, he groaned. Damn…it had been such a long time since she'd felt like playing seductress, and he was already burning way past mere desire. He pulled her into him as tightly as he could, eager to feel all of her body.

They broke apart, and Hyde breathed rather heavily down on her. He looked at her eyes, meeting his so easily. She always did. She was never afraid to look at him, to _see_ him. Even when he was afraid to see himself. He smiled slightly. "You sure you feel up to this?" He reached up and ran his fingers against the side of her head, through her raven hair. It was shorter than she'd ever had it, only about four inches in length, but cut in a cute style. She still wore her wig all the time, except when they were alone. He was the only one she'd let see her without the wig.

And for some reason, that little thing made him feel so….good. Important to her. He'd never been important to anyone else. Always been easily discarded by those who supposedly loved him. But Jackie…Jackie wasn't everyone else. Wasn't like his parents. He'd learned that, and now he truly believed it.

Jackie nodded, but suddenly felt worried, nervous. "Yeah….uh…do you…do you want me to put my wig on?" He'd always loved her hair. She used to brush it over his chest afterwards, and it made him shiver with renewed passion. But now she was still practically bald. She couldn't feather her hair over him. And maybe she wasn't as sexy with her short hair…she hated her short hair. "My hair's so short…so ugly…"

Hyde shook his head. "No. It's cute, dollface." His eyebrows raised and his smile turned dirty. "Besides…it gives me lots and lots of room to do this."

Her eyes fell closed and a sensual warmth released through her body when his lips began nibbling with abandon on her neck. How she loved his kisses! Even more so since the surgery. He kissed her differently, somehow, with more of himself, it seemed. Or maybe she just felt him more because of having almost lost him. And her own life. "Steven," she breathed, arching her neck for his searching mouth. "I…oh…I just…I just wanna be…sexy for you….oh god, Steven…"

He stopped tasting and looked at her. "Jackie," he said, his hands roaming around her back and playing with the bow ties. "You're standing in front of me wearing only scarves. You're about to be naked. Trust me. You're sexy." He gently turned her around and stood as close to her backside as he could with room enough to begin untying the scarves. He bent his head down to her neck and lightly suckled up to her ear. One scarf gone, and his hands briefly slid to her front to cup her newly exposed chest. "So sexy, Jackie…god….damn…"

The lightheadedness Jackie felt now was so much better than the dizziness she'd been experiencing off and on since the surgery. And the reason her body was collapsing into Steven was because of the way he was touching her, not because she was indescribably fatigued. She closed her eyes and completely gave herself up to him, lost herself in him, whispering his name and turning to torture him with her own kisses and heated touches.

Afterwards, for almost twenty minutes, the couple lay in silence. Jackie rested her head on his shoulder, close to his head, and he turned his face towards her. His nose swam in her short but as always, sweet-smelling and silky hair.

It had been a long road to this moment, one that started such a long time ago neither of them remembered exactly when. Had it been that day he'd taught her the art of Zen? When she'd bought him the boots he still had and still wore? Or maybe the day she'd brought pot to him, the day he went to jail for her. It could have been later, that Veteran's Day first date, first kiss. Then again, it could have been that hot summer day in the basement, watching The Price Is Right. Kissing until forced to stop by Eric's unwelcome arrival.

When had it started? When had _they _started?

Jackie smiled slightly and ran her fingertips over Steven's sexy, slightly hairy chest. Didn't matter when they'd started. What mattered was that they'd never ended, even when they'd been apart. Whatever it was that kept them drawn to one another was so potent that it had and could never end. She was convinced of that now, and she hoped to God that he was too.

Hyde nudged his shoulder up slightly. "You sleeping?" He smiled when she shook her head "no" against him. Yeah, he loved it when she cuddled up to him, although he'd deny it until his dying day. Didn't matter. She knew, and that was all that mattered. "I uh…somehow I doubt your mother would approve of the way we just used those scarves. Although, I gotta say, I enjoyed it _very_ much, and we can do it again as many times as you wanna."

Jackie giggled and lifted up to look down at him, and he tried as hard as he could to look at her face and not the pert little breasts so exposed to him by her position.

She sighed, and her smile faded. "Steven, my mom didn't really send those scarves to me, did she?" She'd been wondering this, truthfully, since the moment she'd opened that present.

He stared at her. Damn. He was caught. How had she figured it out? "What? Jackie, of course she did."

She smiled and shook her head. Her eyes wandered down to his chest and she watched her own fingers draw patterns on him. "No…she didn't. I mean, it's been eight months, and she hasn't even called. You'd think she would have, even just to see how I liked the scarves."

Hyde groaned inwardly. Damn it. He should have thought of that. Should have sent a fake card or postcard or something. "Jackie…"

She leaned down and placed a gentle kiss on his lips. "Did you buy them for me? And pretend they were from my mom?"

"I…" He rolled his eyes. Might as well admit it. "Yeah. Look, I just wanted you…I mean, you were going into surgery. I didn't want you to feel like…"

"Like my mother didn't love me?" She smiled slightly and leaned down, pressing her chest to his stomach and resting her chin on his chest. "You wanted to protect me. Even though I know….I know that she doesn't."

He stared at her. Her eyes were closed, and he knew her well enough to know that she was fighting tears. That little girl longing for her mommy was still there, even though she knew it was a battle she'd long ago lost. She was always going to be there, and he knew he'd always have to try to spin the pain away from her. "Well, hey. Who cares, right? I mean, you've got Mrs. Forman. She loves it when you call her mom."

Jackie nodded and swallowed the bitterness of unshed tears. "And…I have you?" Her whisper was a question, her voice fraught with sudden insecurity and a desperate need for reassurance.

Hyde smirked. "Just as long as you keep wearing the scarves like you did today." She giggled, but it sounded a little forced, and he sighed. "Dollface, I'm not going anywhere. I've hung around this long, haven't I?"

She nodded and smiled somewhat sheepishly. "I know…I just…" She lay back down on her boyfriend. Her ear was directly above his heart, and the beating of it comforted her. This whole time, he'd been there. Even when she wasn't herself, when she'd been angry and hateful, or too depressed or sick feeling to do anything at all…he'd been there. Not always saying the right things, or doing the right things, and he still insisted on being brutally honest when she wanted him to lie to her. But he'd always been there. "I just get so scared sometimes, Steven, that you're gonna leave…like my mom and dad did."

She squeezed her arm around him tight, to hold him closer, he guessed, and he lay there, almost paralyzed by the weird sensation of being the one needed. Of being the one someone else was scared of losing. She was scared of losing _him_.

Huh.

He'd never dreamed that _he _could be that to someone. That important to someone. That needed and desired by someone.

_That loved by someone. _

"You know what the best moment of my life was?"

Her voice was fluid and sleepy, and Hyde grinned. She always got her most sappy and honest when she was just about to fall asleep. Sometimes she said things she later on blushed at having said. Like that one time she'd told him he'd given her more pleasure during one round of sex than Kelso had in all the times they did it combined. "What, dollface?"

Jackie's eyes felt so heavy, she wanted to sleep. But she wanted him to know, this, too. "When I woke up in the hospital and the first thing I saw was you."

Hyde furrowed his brow. "Jackie, you didn't recognize me when you woke up. You thought I was your doctor." And it had been the worst feeling in the world, her eyes looking at him with such confusion and absolutely no recognition at all. Luckily, it hadn't lasted long at all, but those moments were the worst of his life. Well, second to the hours and hours her surgery had dragged on.

Jackie nodded. "I know, but then when I did remember you, I remembered that you were the first one I saw. And I knew…I knew that you'd stayed with me."

Hyde stared at the ceiling. Stayed with her. That was apt. He'd paced the hospital halls, sat in the hospital waiting room, beat up two or three vending machines…all the while, his mind in the operating room with her. He shook his head. Never thought he'd ever be that obsessive. "You wanna know the best moment of my life?"

Jackie giggled. "The first time you saw me naked?"

Hyde grinned. She'd changed a little since the surgery, was a bit quieter, even a bit shy at times, but still vibrant, still confident almost to a fault, though he understood that part of her by now. "Okay, the second best moment of my life." He had to admit, the first time he'd seen her naked had to be at the top. Damn. That had been absolutely _spectacular_.

"Tell me."

"When you gave me my glasses back."

Jackie sat up, and her eyes flashed at him. His glasses? His damn GLASSES? Here she'd just told him that waking up to him was the best moment of her life and his was when she gave him his glasses back? "I should have known. Your precious glasses. Was that all you were worried about that whole time?"

She started to pull get off the cot, but Hyde quickly sat up. He grabbed her and pulled her squirming body to his. "Damn it, Jackie, stop," he hissed, angry at her for overreacting and at himself for saying it the way he had. She kept squirming, kept trying to get away, and so he rolled her to her back and climbed on top of her. He trapped her there with his body. "Just listen, okay?"

She closed her eyes.

"Jackie…" He sighed and shook his head. God, why did she have to make everything so damn difficult? "Look, what I meant was that when you gave me my sunglasses back…" His throat tightened. "It meant that you were coming home…" His eyes involuntarily rolled. Yep. Yet another Forman moment. "To me."

Her eyes flew open, her sleepiness entirely forgotten, her anger completely dissolved, and stared at him with her lips parted.

_Coming home to him. To him. _

He wanted her with him, always. He wanted to be with her. To take care of her. To protect her. To love her.

Tears filled her eyes, and she gave him a shaky smile. "Steven…"

He smiled and brushed his fingers over her lips. "Now, can I tie you up with those damn scarves?"

Jackie laughed and slapped his butt. "Pig!"

"You know it, baby!"

About an hour later, Hyde lay on his cot, waiting for Jackie to come back downstairs with the beer and snacks she'd offered to get. It seemed to take her forever, and he had the oddest sensation. Like she was never going to come back.

And that feeling made his stomach hurt. Badly. Almost like the way his stomach had throbbed the entire time she was in surgery. He shifted on his cot, suddenly unable to find a position his muscles found comfortable.

God. Even his body wanted her here. He was getting to be exactly like Forman, wanting to cry like a baby when his woman wasn't around.

He hated it.

And he loved it. Because he knew how it would feel when she did come back. When she was back close to him.

He'd be at home.

_Home._

_Damn, Jackie, hurry up! _

"Sorry it took me so long, Puddin' Pop, but Fez tried to steal some of the candy. I had to beat him off with a stick!" She grinned and plopped down on the cot with the treasures she'd stolen from the kitchen upstairs. "Of course, I always have to beat him off with a stick, even when I don't have candy. He thinks I'm a goddess! Which, of course, I am!"

He grinned at her as she started handing him stuff, a beer, a bag of chips. She reached up and pulled off her wig and tossed it away, to the floor, then smiled at him, that huge, million watt smile of hers.

He knew.

And it was time.

"Hey, Jackie," he said. "I uh…you remember when you told me you needed to know if we'd get married?"

Jackie's heart stopped beating, and all her functions nearly shut down. She had to force herself not to look at him, because if she did, he'd see in her eyes the hope now racing up and down her body. She noticed that her fingers, holding her can of beer, were now shaking, and though she tried, she couldn't steady them.

Life stood still for her. Everything stopped.

"Oh…." She could hardly speak. "Uh…yeah, I…I remember, Steven."

He took a few deep breaths. Was he really going to do this? Commitment? To Jackie Burkhardt? A former cheerleader who adored shopping, unicorns, Donny Osmond and disco music?

_She's my home. _

"Well, here's the deal. If you say yes…" Another deep breath. "If you say yes, we will."

Her beer fell to the floor. The bag of candy she was also holding fell to the floor. She flipped her head around and stared at her boyfriend.

_Oh my god…oh my god…did he…is he…_

"Steven," she breathed, hardly feeling anything except for an amazing surreality. "Did you just…are you…"

He smiled. "I'm not saying it again, Jackie, so…"

"OH MYGOD! YES!"

She pounced on him, knocking his beer and the chips out of his hands and to the floor. It didn't matter. And her shock didn't matter. She'd have time enough for disbelief. Time enough to sit in wonder at the fact that Steven Hyde had just proposed marriage to her. Right now, she had to act.

Hyde laughed when her small body landed on his with enough force to take his breath away, but it was smothered by her mouth. She kissed him wildly, with so much passion that he thought they both might suffocate on each other.

Hell, he wouldn't complain. Suffocating on her kisses would be a great way to go.

When she finally drew back, he rubbed her bottom and smiled up at her flushed, beautiful face. "So…is that a yes?"

"Oh, god, Steven, yes!"

Another wild, long kiss.

"Steven," she panted after pulling back. Her eyes darted back and forth between his. All of her felt on fire, with desire for him, and with the knowledge that he wanted to marry her. HER! He wanted to MARRY her! And she hadn't even had to give him an ultimatum! "Steven, not that I'm complaining…" Her eyes narrowed. "And I'm not taking my 'yes' back so don't think you can get out of this, but why now? I didn't think…I mean, I didn't think you were ready to be married. You told me that."

He shrugged and slipped his hand up the back of the tee shirt, one of his, she wore. God, her back was sexy. He still wanted to breathe and kiss and lick every inch of that back. He'd have to do that. Tonight. "I just…" His smirk faded; her eyes were in him, seeing him the way she always could and did. "You convinced me."

Jackie's eyes welled up with tears, tears she'd always dreamed of but never really dared to hope for. He was ready to get married. To her. SHE was the one this amazing man, this smart, funny, sexy, masculine, tender-on-the-very-very-inside man wanted to spend the rest of his life with. "Yeah, well of course I did," she said, her voice breaking. "I'm pretty convincing, huh?"

He nodded, and his hands moved to the back of her head. "You are, Jackie," he whispered, just before pulled her down so he could kiss her again. "And I…" their kisses shortened to sweet little bites, over and over, both pairs of eyes open and staring into the other. "I love you."

She tried to smile, and for once, didn't at all mind the tears. Didn't mind that she probably looked horrible. Didn't mind that he was seeing into her, into her heart the way he always could and did. "I love you, Steven."

After a few moments of lying on his chest, crying for joy and listening to his heart race, then settle down, Jackie raised herself up and smiled sexily down at her boy….no…her fiancé. "So…can I tie _you_ up with those scarves now?"

Hyde nodded quickly. "Oh, HELL yeah!"

Oh hell yeah.

This was home. With her. Forever.

_One year later _

Hyde stood in front of the flowery alter, nervous as hell, wishing to GOD that he'd taken part in a circle before the ceremony, wishing to GOD he'd had about ten beers.

_Why am I doing this again? _

Jackie stood just outside the church, behind the closed doors, her arm hooked through Red Forman's. Her stomach danced with ten thousand butterflies.

_Why am I doing this again? _

The door opened, and immediately, Jackie's eyes met Steven's. He looked so handsome. No glasses, a tuxedo, his hair relatively tame. Broad shoulders, slim but strong, manly body. Sideburns still, but no beard.

And she smiled. He was there. Waiting for her. Wanting her. Loving her.

_Now I remember. He loves me enough to be convinced. He knows just like I do, finally, how right we are for one another. And God, I've never loved him more than I do today. _

Hyde swallowed hard, and tried to find breath. She was beautiful. Gorgeous. An absolute angel in her wedding gown, the veil making her look like a demure porcelain doll. Her long-again hair swept up on top of her head in a mass of curls, crowned by a circle of white roses. She glowed pure beauty.

He smiled. There she was. Coming to him. Wanting him. Loving him.

_Now I remember. She loves me enough to do everything she can to convince me of it. She knows how much…how right she is for me. And God…I've never loved her more than I do today. _

Just a few hours later, well into their wedding reception, Jackie Burkhardt (or as she forced everyone to call her, Mrs. Steven Hyde) once again convinced her new husband to stay until all their guests left with the promise of a long night of no sleep and lots of playing with silk scarves.

As always, Steven Hyde let himself be convinced.

Because after all, his pretty little dollface was a hell of an expert at convincing him. And something told him that she always would be.

The End


End file.
